Monday, December 24, 2007

Some One Nailed Santa Claus To A Cross?

Where I come from they'd say that was a bad mistake.

They should've nailed a politician......

ZING! ZING! OH, THE WONDERFUL ZINGS OF CHRISTMAS!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Merry Christmas, All Of You "Non-Documented Aliens"

Suck it up big time, because Congress obviously doesn't have the guts to do their job.

Suck us dry. Clean out our welfare dollars, our health money, our educational funds... even our social security. Why should we care if you're not paying your way and you're sending what money you do make back home? Why does it matter that we have real American citizens living here who don't qualify for the freebies you get?

There's no reason that we should give a damn about the Native Americans who were here before us and don't, in many cases, have electricity or running water because our Congress can't afford to fund their needs. You are illegal, and that makes you"entitled."

Suck it up. Big time.

ZING!

Monday, December 17, 2007

So, "Holiday Sales" Are In A Slump?

Back to my post of December 15th.

Most Americans don't give "Holiday" gifts. We give birthday gifts, wedding gifts, graduation gives, and Christmas gifts.

Since the pompus bastard retailers quit playing Christmas music and took "Christmas" out of their advertising and in-store signage, I guess they're telling us we don't HAVE to buy Christmas gifts anymore because Christmas does not exist.

That's not a ZING. That's the truth, and I hope they all go "belly up."

Sunday, December 16, 2007

How Many?

Fish does it take to make a school?

Geese does it take to make a gaggle?

Ducks does it take to make a flock?

Jets does it take to make a squadron?

Ships does it take to make a fleet?

Wolves does it take to make a pack?

Cows does it take to make a herd?

Assholes does it take to make a Congress?



Just thought I'd ask.



ZING!

Exit, Stage Left

What this country needs right now is a good strong leader.

All current Presidential candidates should now leave the stage.

ZING

The Odds That Iran Has Actually Shut Down Its Nuclear Program

Are about the same as the odds that you'll find a snowball in hell.

ZING!

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Calling All Retailers - If You Don't Believe In Christmas

I don't believe you need my Christmas shopping money.

You humbugs and your "Holiday Shopping" have taken the ZING out of the most important American tradition of all.

May the fleas of the camels of the Three Wise Men infest your armpits.

Friday, December 14, 2007

If The Guys on Steroids Get Off Scott Free....

Why shouldn't Pete Rose be in the Hall of Fame?

No ZING Intended.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Global Warming =

Hot Sex!

Yummy Zing Zing!

Monday, December 03, 2007

Today's News Flap: Morticians Strip For Calendar

Personally, I think it's a dead issue.

Zing

The Body's Not Even Cold Yet And Already They're Going After Evil's Estate

When you hit the cemetary plot, how come they never fight over who gets to pay your debts?
And, what a major let down, if you'll pardon the play on words.....

ZING!

Sunday, December 02, 2007

More People Think Washington Sucks Than Support Hillary & Obama Combined

Over 67% think Congress is doing a bad job. And those idiots are out there spending tens of millions of dollars trying to get us to vote for their re-election? Or for their Presidency?

This isn't about ZING! It's about CHING! CHING!