Hillary's Secret Strategy; It'll Happen Any Day Now!

Divorce Bill!

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Vote ALL Of The Incumbents Out....

Then for sure there won't be any assholes left in Washington.....

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William Buckley Dies

McCain Only True Conservative Remaining!

Do not pass the Gray Poop-On..... I already have it!

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Now They're Arguing Who's Going To Handle Terrorism Better: Clinton Or Obama

I say, give them each a derringer and let them duel at 10 paces!

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Drew Peterson's Third Wife Was Murdered?

My gosh! What'll they dig up next?

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The Recent McCain Lobbyist Affair Story Is A Red Herring

If you want something to sink your teeth into, take a look at his investigation of Jack Abramoff. Why didn't he investigate the members of Congress who TOOK the money? Moreover, since he was in charge of the Indian Affairs Committee that did the investigation into Abramoff, why did he accept a $100,000 donation from Abramoff's firm?

You don't suppose the Democrats would actually sit on this scandal until after McCain wins his party's nomination would you? Naw.... they play fair. They wouldn't leave the Republicans without a candidate! Right?

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So, If The Republicans Are Staying Away From The Polls...

They obviously don't like their choices, either.

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From The Republican Royal Regency: Now Is The Time For All Good Party Members To Rally Around McCain

#1: I don't like McCain
#2: I changed my registration to Independent
#3: I am not a member of the proletariat

No ZING necessary

Speaking of Hillary...

Has anyone heard anything from Bill lately?

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Politics On TV

Will somebody PLEASE lose the remote?

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Quirky Berkeley

From the Halls of Monetzuma,
To the shores of Berkeley;
At the distance orb called Luna,
They all stink like dirty Commies.

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Gitmo Prisoner Trial

Finally, after over five years have passed since 9/11, they're starting the process to bring some of those Gitmo bastards to trial.

Why did it take so long?

Why now? Maybe the Bush Administration is afraid Hillary will win and set them free?

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If You Elect Me As Your President, I Promise:

1. I'll take the handcuffs off the troops so we can kick shit and win the war in Iraq and get them home.

2. I will not appoint anyone to a cabinet-level post or to a Federal judgeship who is not fully qualified.

3. I will review and improve the ways that people can immigrate legally, and I will do everything within my power to prevent illegal immigration.

4. I will push to remove the Federal income tax and to replace it with a modified consumption tax so that the poor are not penalized.

5. I will work to restore State's rights and control over their own destinies.

6. I will refrain from interfering in the affairs of other countries, unless invited or unless they absolutely endanger the security of the nation.

7. I will support Freedom OF Religion and do everything possible to prevent those who would impose their atheism on our nation.

8. I will support anti-abortion measures except in cases of rape, incest or endangerment to the life of the mother.

9. I will pro-actively work to reduce the size of the Executive Branch of the Federal Government.

10. I will do everything within my power to encourage family values.

P.S. I'm not running.

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AFTER EIGHT MORE YEARS OF CLINTONS, THEN WHAT?

This great wise one who predicted 12 years ago that Hillary would be the first female President of the United States, now predicts that after she finishes her next eight years, Obama will be anointed by the Clinton machine as long as he picks Chelsea to be his VEEP. And THEN.......

Is this thrilling or not? Just think, you can go to bed tonight knowing what the next 24 years of political rule is going to be like in this country.

Sleep tight. I'M going to sleep tight.... VERY tight, right after I polish off this bottle of scotch.......

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If Everyone Who Is Pissed Off At The Republican Party Decides To Change Their Registration

There's not a registrar's office in the country that can handle the activity.

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McCain Got 44% Of The California Republican Vote And He WON!

That means 56% of the Republicans voted against him. Yet, they would have us believe that he can beat Clinton in November when only 47% of the Democrats voted against HER.

Please pass the gray poop on.

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It's That Day When We Pick The Best Candidate...

Having sized up the runners in both parties, I have decided to pick my nose instead.

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As John Said To Jesus...

Get off your ass and go vote!

No Zing necessary.

It's SUPER TUESDAY!

I can't decide whether to do #1 or #2.

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Last Night I Prayed And Prayed Before I Went To Bed...

Dear Lord, when I awaken tomorrow please, please show me a LEADER! We need a LEADER!

This morning, I awoke and lo and behold.....

Jesse Ventura was on TV.

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New Democratic Party Jabberwocky

"Just think! This is the first time in American history that one of the people running for the Presidency will either be a woman or a black!"

Well, whoopeeeeeeee!

If that's all that matters, why didn't they just pick Oprah Winfrey?

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