THE TERMINATOR IS GOING TO BE THE TERMINATOR?

California layoffs?

AN AFFINITY FOR ASSININITY?

New York City is the latest in an endless parade of idiotic governmental mandates. They're making it illegal for you to text message on your cell phone while crossing a street, because you might get run over.

Next thing you know, they're going to make it illegal for men to pee while standing up, because they get water on the knee!

CHEAPER THAN GAS!

If we can find a way to harvest all of the hot air coming out of Congress, we won't even need gas!!!

THE ONLY THING WORSE THAN CONGRESS....

Is their baseball team.

LOUZY, DAMNED CATCH 22

If we banned all of the political sniping, carping and sniveling from TV,
there'd be nothing left to watch except reruns.

WHAT'S MY OPINION OF CONGRESS?

They're all so low, those worthless numb skulls all need parachutes to jump off the edge of a dime.

TWO MORE BANK FAILURES

Either the Feds are not doing their jobs and monitoring banks closely enough, or the economy really IS in deep shit.

Oh well, who needs banks anyway? We've got plenty of plastic!

MEXICAN REVENGE

If you don't want our illegals, we'll send Sal Monella up there to getcha!

OBAMA'S REASON FOR NOT VISITING GI'S?

Maybe he was afraid he'd get booed off the stage?

SAN FRANCISCO: Topless and Lawless

If you're an illegal alien in The City and dancing in a topless joint, you'll get double-indemnity, in more ways than one.

OBAMA TAKES BERLIN BY STORM!

Sig hail!

IS MCCAIN ASLEEP AT THE SWITCH?

He sure let Obama pull the magic carpet out from under him in Iraq when Obama got their President, the Khard, to publicly agree that a 16-month troop pullout would be great. Time to wake up from your nap, John?

Obama Is DEFINITELY A Sniveler!

See July 19th post. McCain is closing the gap in the polls and right away, Obama is crying that the news media is giving McCain preferential treatment. Fact is, McCain never got much publicity on HIS Middle East trip at all, and they're giving Obama constant coverage; even Kat Couric went along! Obama is very favored by the news media, getting almost two times the name mention as McCain.

So, this is just one more instance of Obama crying like a baby in the schoolyard. To me, he's starting to sound like a snot-nosed sniveler. Is that what we want in a President?

ANOTHER PRESIDENTIAL POLL

After Obama's trip to Iraq and Afghanistan, who will be best prepared to deal with terrorism?

A. McCain
B. Obama
C. Nader
D. Bin Laden

NEW PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE? He's Got My Vote!

T-Bone Pickens!

PHIL GRAMM SAYS WE'RE A NATION OF WHINERS?

Doesn't that stance epitomize how we see Congress, as a bunch of pious and elitist bastards that have lost touch with the American electorate?

THE NEW YORKER MAGAZINE COVER PROVES ONE THING

If Obama wins, we're going to have a cry baby for a President.

Wah, wah!

MORE PRESIDENTIAL POLLING

Where does McCain stand on illegal immigration?

A. Way out in left field
B. Same as Obama
C. No habla espanol
D. All of the above

BUSH'S ECONOMY SPIRALS OUT OF CONTROL

He says it's not so bad, but how does this make you feel:

They're scaling back, and even cutting out altogether, military patrols of U.S. nuclear energy facilities because they can't afford it any more......

DR. MICHAEL DEBAKEY CLOCKED OUT

His heart's no longer in it.

PRESIDENTIAL POLL TAKES OFF!

Who would be better at dealing with Iran?
a. McCain
b. Obama
c. Paris Hilton
d. Bullwinkle

THE GREAT VAST NO NEWS CONSPIRACY

I mean no disrespect to Tony Snow or Tim Russert, and I do not wish to detract from the joy of those escapees from the Columbian Jungle Prison, but where's the news? FOX was on Snow all weekend, and CNN Headline News was on the escapees all weekend.

In the meantime, there's been gradually declining news and now a virtual blackout when it comes to Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran, Korea, the economy, the energy crisis, Social Security, the borders, terrorism.... Not that we Americans would be interested in such things?

The only way you can find out what the hell is going on in the U.S. is to get on the Internet and check out the BBC or the CBC.

INDYMAC BANK COULD BE JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG

Let's see.... Countrywide, INDYMAC, FannieMae, FreddieMac.....
Bank of America? Nations Bank? Wells Fargo? How low could the list be?

Not to worry though.... Good old George says the economy is in fine shape, remember?

I don't know about you, but I'd just as soon go to the bank and draw my money out and stick it under the mattress. Problem is, I can't afford the gas to get there......

So Long Tony

Thanks for the Snow job.

US - RUSSIAN MISSILE CRISIS

Seems to me that our plans to put missiles in Czechoslovakia is somewhat akin to the Soviet Union's attempt to put missiles in Cuba.

Now, don't get all fired up over that thought.....

OBAMA: LAST TANGO WITH JACKSON? Special Post

At the very least, Obama will soon be speaking in a higher octave after having been verbally emasculated by the very Reverend Jesse Jackson.

Jackson apologized for whispering off screen that Obama was talking down to Blacks and that he should have his "jewels" chopped off.

But, anyone who will just close their eyes and listen to how Obama talks and what he says would have to agree with Jesse, and that's the first, and probably last time in my life that I could ever agree with Jesse Jackson.

The upside of this flap is that we no longer have to speculate as to whether or not Obama has Cabinet or VP plans for Jackson.

KENNEDY'S TUMOR

Probably explains why he doesn't think right. (Play on words intended).

AMERICAN'S PASSENGERS BOO CREW

The crew was over an hour late, at the gate.
Passengers booed them for being late, at the gate.
The crew took the bait and closed the gate.
"We're not flying from this gate, on this date.
You certainly know your fate. Even if we're late, wait.
For now, it's checkmate, at the gate on this date. "

OUR SHIP OF STATE WAIVERS IN IT'S DIRECTION

Senator Jesse is no longer at the Helms.

OBAMA STEALS THE SHOW FROM MCCAIN

Has emergency landing in St. Louis

THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END! THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END!

Would you believe that it's more profitable for farmers to grow corn for ethanol than hops for beer?

QUALIFICATIONS FOR THE PRESIDENCY

I don't recall anywhere in the history of this country that says a chap is qualified to be President just because his plane got shot down over enemy territory. Likewise, I know of nothing that says that a guy is qualified because he's Black and because he's finally decided he'd best start wearing the American Flag on his lapel.

Frankly, I'm beginning to think that this country would be far better off with four more years under Bush, and the mere thought of that sends shivers down my spine.

THE IDIOTS WE ELECT

As you know, it is now illegal to talk on a cell phone in California unless you are using a hands-free device. However, it is LEGAL to drive in California while shaving, reading the newspaper, listening to your boom box turned all of the way up and..... holding a banana to your ear.

Maybe I should start selling banana phones?

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY

Don't forget to thank your armed forefathers for the privilege of celebrating it.

IT'S ALMOST TIME TO DECLARE YOUR INDEPENDENCE...

And divorce your Congressman!

ANYONE WHO CARRIES A CONCEALED GUN ON A PLANE

Should not be arrested
Or otherwise tested;
He should be shot,
On the spot.

IF OBAMA CHANGES HIS POSITION ON ISSUES JUST ONE MORE TIME....

He will have tied Bill Clinton's record, and Obama isn't even President yet!

Whew! This guy's fast!