NEW QUESTION IN AMERICAN ECONOMICS

Now that we've done multi-trillions, what's next? Gazillion? Zillion?

NOW THAT THE FEDS VIRTUALLY OWN CITIBANK

And, given their sterling reputation on the House Financial Oversight Committee for care, ability and agility in handling the nation's money in the past, I think I'm going to trot on down to my local CitiBank Branch, withdraw all of my money, and invest in the Portuguese fishing business.

CALIFORNIA FALLS INTO OCEAN

Of debt.

THE BASIC PROBLEM WITH PALIN

She's too much of a genuine American, with few faults.

She needs to have an adulterous relationship with a 14-year-old, or she needs to get caught with her hands in the government till, and she will then be truly qualified to run for a national political office.

WHY SHOULDN'T THE BANKERS HAVE LAVISH PARTIES?

Now that their banks are flush with transfusion money, now that no one can afford to buy a home or a car and they have no need for a bank loan, what else should banks do with the money? Give it back?

What are you smoking?

ANOTHER NINCOMPOOP IN WASHINGTON

Ray LaHood, Obama's Transportation Secretary, wants Americans to pay by the number of miles the drive as opposed to how much gas they buy.

Now, let's see..... you buy so much gas to travel so many miles, and charging by the gallon instead of by the mile doesn't make sense. What DOES make sense is spending billions of more bucks to install mileage chips in cars to broadcast to a satellite how many miles you drive?

This ninny's horseshit level is dangerously high. No wonder this country is going down the tubes.

SAFE INCOME TAX CUT

The Prez sez that 95% of American working families will benefit by his income tax cuts. Evidently, no one has bothered to tell him that 95% of American working families are unemployed.

HAPPINESS

If happiness is truly a good screwing, then we should all be very happy with Congress.

TO GAMBLE OR NOT TO GAMBLE, THAT IS THE QUESTION

Well, last year we spent around $1 trillion bailing one out every flea in the country and, for a good part, we don't know where that money went. Now, we've added another $800 billion and the market has again plummeted and the Prez is telling everyone not to gamble with their money in Las Vegas; (could it be that the odds of coming up a winner are better in Las Vegas then they are in Washington?)

Next move is that they are going to ask for another $1 trillion....then..... Never mind, you get the idea. It's kind of like a loser in Vegas....chasing after a rainbow that is not there. The problem is, it's OUR money they're gambling with.

BUSH AND CHENEY SPLIT THE SHEETS

Cheney is more than ticked off that Bush didn't pardon Scooter Libby. Odds are that Bush will not respond to any Cheney invites to go hunting.

NIGHTMARE IN BURNEY

I had this awful dream, where God appeared to me in the middle of the night and commanded that I write something nice about politicians.

Oh, yes I know. It's really dumb to argue with God, but..........

SO WHAT IF BURRIS LIED UNDER OATH?

That just makes him a bona fide Washington D.C. politician doesn't it?

NEW FEMALE CREATURE DISCOVERED

What is it? Scientists say it is a tapeworm.

And, how do I know it's a female? Well, it's obviously got four mouths and they're all yakkin'! So, it's either got to be a female or a politician....or both.

Maybe that's what makes Nancy Pelosi tick?

ABOUT THE MEDIA "FAIRNESS DOCTRINE"

Shut your mouth!

AND NOW THAT THE BILL HAS PASSED....

I feel soooooooooo stimulated! Don't you?

CONGRESS GAVE US A STIMULUS BILL FOR VALENTINE'S DAY

Evidently, they have a heart on for us!

I'M NOT SPENDING A DIME ON ANYTHING

It was this blind spending that got us into this mess in the first place, with Frankfarter and his committee forcing banks and mortgage companies to make bad loans. Now, we have more of the same thing, with the Feds hollering to get the money out and no one caring where it really goes.

I have great fear and trepidation that this move was the nail in the economic coffin of the United States.

FRANKFARTER WANTS TO KNOW WHERE THE MONEY WENT?

Obviously, he forgot to take his brain out of the jar on the shelf this morning before he went to work.... again!

Maybe he would be a tad more lucid if he stopped by the lunch counter had had some Nancy Pelosi stew....

OBAMA MAY FANCY HIMSELF TO BE A LOT LIKE LINCOLN, BUT...

If I recall correctly, Lincoln didn't have any trouble getting his Cabinet together.

Please pass the Gray PoopOn...

FASTER THAN A SPEEDING "PREPARATION H "BULLET!!

Passage of the Economic Stimulus Bill after Obama whined and wined the Senate.

SENATE WORKS SATURDAY?

Well, Senator Reid, so am I. In fact, I'm going to work Sunday, too. I need to work so I can raise enough money to pay the damned taxes you're going to have to levy to cover this frickin' package of pork "Stimulus" Bill.

I'm stimulated, all right, Harry. Really stimulated.

DUMMY UP, PEASANT!

First, it was $827 billion that was an outrage. Then, they raised it to $938 billion. Then, they "slashed" it to $827 billion and they're running around with condescending smiles telling us that they heard our displeasure and cut $100 billion off the figure.

JUST HOW DUMB DO THEY THINK WE PEASANTS REALLY ARE?

SULLY, WE NEED YOUR HELP

Such a great pilot you are.... Please save us from drowning in debt on the Potomac!

ANOTHER CABINET NOMINEE WITH TAX PROBLEMS?

Thank you, Tim Geithner, for your superb leadership on this issue.

PRESIDENT OBAMA TAKES FIRST TRIP ON AIR FORCE ONE

Let's hope he doesn't get "goosed!"

MEDIA MANIACS

Patrick McDermott, former boyfriend of Aussie-bred Olivia Newton-John and who has been "missing and presumed dead" for many years, is alleged to be alive.

The news has been making the rounds of Television Land, while we remain totally uninformed about what is going on in Israel and the Gaza Strip, Pakistan, Afghanistan, or Venezuela.

The media is soooooooo informative and, please, pass the Gray Poop-on.

SENATE SLASHES ECONOMIC STIMULUS BILL!!!

Reduces price tag from $825 billion to $900 billion...

YESTERDAY WAS GOUND HOG DAY

Put a little more barbecue sauce on it and it'll taste just fine.

SUPERBOWL FIX?

The word floating around on the day after the game is that the officials fixed the outcome. Evidently, one of them is practicing to run for Congress...

JIMMY CARTER GETS THE LAST LAUGH

Sends peanut butter sandwich to Bill Clinton.