THE COUNTRY IS RUNNING OUT OF AMMUNITION

This is no joke. It's extremely difficult to buy ammunition anywhere in the country right now. You don't suppose the feds are buying it up, do you?

Could it be, they need the practice? They certainly are not straight shooters, by any stretch of the imagination.

BILLY MAYS DIES

In recent months...even years... Billy Mays was seen on more TV's than Michael Jackson, by far. Yet, his death will most certainly not get 24/7 coverage for three days. In fact, this post may be the only mention whatsoever of his death. Maybe he should have had his nose bobbed.

Dead at age 50, he was the bearded guy who pitched Oxyclean, remote control electric switches, and heavy-duty bonding putty.

ANY ONE EVER HEAR OF ED MCMAHON? FARAH FAWCETT? NORTH KOREA? IRAN?

No.

Michael Jackson died. That's all of the news for this month.

THE MORE I SEE OF POLITICIANS

The more I prefer dogs.

CONSERVATISM IS NOT DEAD

But, the Republican Party is.

MICHAEL JACKSON'S LAST DANCE

No more kidding around.

THE FAWCETT TURNS OFF

Charlie's Angel is off the stage.

DEEP DOWN IN A CORNER OF YOUR HEART

Aren't you truthfully starting to wish that Obama wasn't born in this country?

THIEVES BILK TAXPAYERS OUT OF $100 MILLION

They filed fraudulent medicare claims.

They're obviously training to be members of Congress.

WHY PEOPLE KEEP RUNNING AROUND GEITHNER

To got their exercise by jogging around the blockhead.

GOOD NIGHT, ED

There goes Publisher's Clearing House

NORTH KOREAN POPPYCOCK?

North Korea's tin-horned midget, Kim Yong Il, is now threatening to nuke the United States.

RUMOR MILL: SAINT JEREMIAH?

There's no truth to the rumor that Obama asked the Pope to declare Jeremiah Wright a saint.

(Whew!)

WASHINGTON'S "ROYALTY WEEK" IN REVIEW

California is blessed with Queen Fancy Nancy and Princess "The Snob" Barbara while Nevada has Prince"Mister Clean" Harry and Sir John, The Fornicator.

(Sorry... Barney Frankfarter and Chris Doddledung didn't make the list, but they were certainly in the running.)

THE NAME SAYS IT ALL?

She insists on being called "Senator" as opposed to "ma'am." Actually, she's correct. The term, "ma'am," conveys a feeling of respect and she is, after all, a United States Senator. The use of the term "ma'am" cannot therefore apply.

ABOUT THAT FLY

Word has it that it was an undercover agent for Fox News.

PRINCESS NANCY SEIZES ABSOLUTE & POMPOUS POWER

Answers to no one.

She can say whatever she wants about the CIA or anything else, and you can't challenge her. It's HER First Amendment right, remember? A right that is apparently hers, and hers only.

(Now, how can somebody who is so far left have all of the rights?)

CAPITAL PUNISHMENT FOR THE INNOCENT; No Trial Required

Late-term abortions.

PONDERING THE PRESIDENT'S TV APPEARANCES

Now, why do you suppose the President would want to speak to the nation on all of the networks, including Oxygen and Lifetime, but not including FOX, when FOX has more viewers by far than any other four major news networks combined?

(Like, maybe he's going to say something that he doesn't want anyone to hear?)

WHY OBAMA'S HEALTH PLAN IS LIKE GITMO

He's out there stumping and demanding approval and he doesn't have a plan for either one yet. On the other hand, maybe it doesn't matter... Congress doesn't read its own bills anyway.

(Maybe he's gone delusional?)

THE PRESIDENT'S NEW HEALTH CARE PLAN

Is unhealthy.

THEY WANT TO KNOW ABOUT OUR CONFIDENCE IN GOVERNMENT?

WHAT government?

All they amount to is a collection of monkeys and idiots.

FANCY NANCY IS DANCING

She's on the ropes.

THERE'S ONE GOOD ATTRIBUTE THAT SARAH PALIN HAS THAT NO ONE ELSE IN THIS COUNTRY SEEMS TO HAVE:

The guts to stand up and be patriotic.

I DON'T KNOW WHICH IS WORSE

Having all of your hemorrhoids removed or listening to Obama tell us what a great deal his new Health Plan is going to be.

GOOD NIGHT, DAVID

Another great one passes, but the legend of Kung Fu will live on.

ONE MORE REASON TO GET RID OF PELOSI

University of California research has proven that gassy cows contribute to global warming.

QUIT PICKING ON PELOSI

She says that she has said all she will ever say about what she said about CIA being packed with liars when they report to Congress. So sayeth her highnie the Princess, and that should be the end to it.

Right?

BARNEY FRANKFARTER TO ACORN'S RESCUE

Refuses to back an investigation into ACORN finances.

(Hmmm. Wonder what's up with that?)

GITMO PROBLEM SOLVED

Let's move them into the White House. We could use the space provided to the Press Corps.

And, what about the Press Corp? That organization can be dissolved, because they're not doing their jobs, anyway. But, we owe it to ourselves to tar and feather them before we dissolve them.

THE GOLDEN WATERFALL

Americans are finally getting beyond that feeling of being pissed off, and are now understanding that they are, in fact, being pissed ON.

GREAT NEWS ON GAS PRICES!

The news folks keep saying.... "Gas prices soared this week, but they're still well below last year's high of $4.39."

Well, isn't that just grand?

OBAMA'S HEADING OVERSEAS AGAIN...

Evidently, he feels that his bowing apologies for the arrogant Americans need to be renewed...

IT'S ALL ABOUT HARRY

"Tis a rare day when you can teach an old dog new tricks," but.... Did you know that Prince Harry is NOT from Nevada? Neither did I. I was flat-out astonished to discover that he's from England.

THE GOVERNMENT WILL DO A GREAT JOB RUNNING GENERAL MOTORS

Just look at their AMTRAK record!