CHAIRMAN BARACK SPEAKS AGAIN

Tonight he speaks to the nation.  I wonder who he is going to blame for what now. 

LABOR DAY IS COMING

Al Gore invented it. 

PEACE AND QUIET INTERRUPTED

Obama's coming back from vacation. 

BRAND NEW HEALTH CARE PLAN

Take a look a your new health insurance bill.  If that doesn't kill you, you're in damned good health. 

IS OBAMA REALLY A MUSLIM?

He sleeps on muslim sheets, doesn't he? 

WHAT'S THE FASTEST ANIMAL IN THE MEXICAN JUNGLE?

A drug sniffing dog. 

BLOOMBERG RIDES WHITE HORSE, USES SILVER BULLETS

Who WAS that Mosqued man? 

MISSING EAR FOUND?

Egyptian police have found a missing, stolen Van Gogh Painting.

WHY OBAMA DOESN'T VACATION IN CHICAGO

Because Tony Rezko is not in town? 
(Well, where is he?)

OBAMA'S GOING ON VACATION

Oh, there must be a national crisis going on again.....
(Maybe jobs figures? Foreclosures? Deficit? Another Mosque waiting to be built?  Iran going nuclear?  Harry Reid having a snit? Nancy running off at the mouth?) 

WEEKLY UNEMPLOYMENT LAYOFFS SKYROCKET TO 500,000

The economy is just great, terrific, magnanimous, cured.  

The stimulus worked beyond our wildest imagination.  
Everything is just peachy keen, hunky dory and just plain ducky. 

MORE THAN A ONE-TRACK MIND

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0nbo1VOF4M&NR=1

OBAMA SERIOUSLY ILL

He's suffering from electile dysfunction. 

OBAMA SWIMS IN GULF

Chairman Barack took a swim in the Gulf over the weekend and pronounced it safe to swim in and to eat fish from.  I don't know if anyone noticed or not, but he was black when he came out.....

IF JEB BUSH RUNS

Will Ben Quayle be his running mate? 

CHARLIE RANGEL

At the rate the Ethics Committee is proceeding, it's likely he will die of old age before any official charges get filed. 

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO OBAMA, PELOSI AND REID

It's Friday the 13th!

WHAT IS A "DEADLOCKED" JURY?

If the jury doesn't reach a verdict, they line them up and shoot them. 

WHAT CHARLIE SHEEN AND MEL GIBSON HAVE IN COMMON

They're both obviously so much in love with their wives. 

WASHINGTON D.C. OUTLAWS NATIONAL ANTHEM

A group of high school students attending a conservative leadership conference in D.C. says they were ordered by a security guard to stop singing the national anthem during a visit to the memorial. The guards insisted that the students were in a National Park and their political singing constituted an unlicensed demonstration. 

WHY POLITICIANS SHOULD BE GEOTHERMAL EXPERTS

Geothermal experts are always in hot water. 

ENERGY SAVER

If we can keep Chairman Barack on TV 24-7, everyone in the country will have their TV's off, 24-7.  We should be able to decrease our electrical energy usage by 50% or more and... who knows, maybe we'll even get to know our families again and get back to more traditional values.     

NEW SUPREME COURT JUSTICE

Now, finally, after all of these years she has the opportunity to practice law. 

TODAYS WORST JOKE

Barack Obama. 

ONE THING ABOUT SARAH PALIN

She's looking more and more like Tina Fey every day. 

ILLEGALS: POINT TO PONDER

If the child of illegals was born in the United States, he or she automatically becomes a U.S. citizen.  There's an argument to be had straight out of the abortion issue:  If a child was conceived on the desert sands in the U.S., why shouldn't that child be a U.S. citizen even if born in Mexico? 

Huh? 

JOHN KERRY AWARDED THIRD PURPLE HEART

Although Kerry was never able to prove that he was awarded the two previous Purple Hearts, he has now been awarded a third... for protecting his Naval Command from taxation by moving it from Massachusetts to Rhode Island. 

CHAIRMAN OBAMA'S WEBSITE

http://www.chairmanobama.com/

ONE SURE WAY FOR CHAIRMAN BARACK TO RAISE HIS STANDINGS IN THE POLLS...

Resign.