WHITE HOUSE PRESS CORPS

A wholly owned subsidiary of Obama, Emanuel & Gibbs, et al

FIRE AND WATER

Did I hear that they are going to set fire to the oil floating in the water on the Gulf?  If it works, will that prove that Obama is the Messiah? 

IRRELEVANT

If you can't believe a single word he says, then he is irrelevant.  It's time to quit listening to Obama and to ferret out the truths for ourselves. 

WHEN I LOOK AT ARIZONA

I see a state that's willing to do mow its own lawns. 

RENDELL CALLS TEA PARTY "PATHETIC"

Isn't he such a sweet boy?  Don't you just want to pinch his cute little cheek? 

ONCE UPON A TIME

Once upon a time, the wicked Goldman Sachs was making investments for clients that were destined to fail.  

Once upon a time, the "good" overseers, the S.E.C., were holed up, (play on words intended), behind closed doors watching porno and not paying attention to the wicked, wicked ways of Goldman Sachs.  

Once Upon a time, the wicked Goldman Sachs fell apart, but the "really good guys," the White House,  took our money and saved Goldman Sachs. 

And now, all of the Kings, Queens and Princes of Goldman Sachs are working for the White House. 

Isn't that a sweet and lovely tale?  (Shut up and get out of the way.)

PRICE OF BOOZE TO SKYROCKET

Them folks in Washington is gonna start taxing VATS!  

(But only on booze that's bein' sold to people making over $250,000 a year, remember?  You betcha there, feller!)

HYPOCRITE =

Barack Obama, after TARP, stimulus, Health Care and hiring two dozen Goldman Sachs execs... 

"We've got to reign in spending and tighten up Wall Street."

UNBELIEVABLE SCANDAL ROCKS CATHOLIC CHURCH!!!

Sex abuse scandal in the Catholic Church?  Wow, what'll be next?  

(Maybe they're practicing to become politicians?)

SPEAKING ICELANDIC

How do you say "Good morning," in Iceland?  

"Cough, cough."

ATTENTION ALL ICELANDERS

Get your ashes out of here!

PRESIDENT NEEDS TO ENFORCE SANCTIONS?

Iceland needs to be isolated for contributing to the world's greenhouse effect.  (Hop to it!)

HOW TO CLEAR ALL OF THE RADICALS OUT OF THE CAPITOL

1. Grab a seat in the gallery.
2. Stand up.  
3. Shout, "Let's have a Tea Party!"

They'll all be out the door in a heart beat. 

FASTEST WAY TO CUT GOVERNMENT SPENDING

History shows that whenever Congress is in session, it spends money.  Therefore, let's limit sessions to 60 days per year meeting every other year. 

OBAMA'S WORST MISTAKE YET

If he cancels NASA's Space Program, he doesn't stand a chance of ever seeing home again!

POLITICIANS EVERYWHERE ARE SMILING

Today is income tax day and you, you sweet little thing you, are going to be sending them more money to spend.  Now, don't forget to put a stamp on the envelope and sign your check.  

OH, HAPPY, JOYOUS DAY!

(P.S. Here's today's free tax tip: If there's any money left in your bank account, you have made a mistake on your tax return.  Go back and refigure.)

TEA PARTY RACIAL SLURS?

Since there are no video or audio recordings to back up claims that the Tea Party members voiced racial slurs on the steps of the Capitol in March, we are now asked to buy into the argument that the Tea Party must be covering it up?  Duhhhh, there were tons of media and press there, all with cameras and recorders that did not pick up the alleged racial slurs.  We all know that the media and press are owned by Obama and Associates.  

(How lame can you get?  I swear, sometimes I think these guys are as dumb as posts.  The rest of the time, I know they are.)

AHMADINEJAD TAKES SHOT AT OTHER WORLD LEADER'S "SHORTCOMINGS"

He's got a lot of nerve to talk.  He's only 4'8". 

CHEERS!

At this time of the year, I am reminded that Harry Reid says that the payment of income taxes by Americans is "voluntary."  And that, of course, explains why we have IRS agents and tax courts.  

(Oh well, at least we know they are spending our money wisely.  Well, turtles DO need to cross the road, don't they?  And, don't forget the salamanders!) 

WHITE HOUSE MUSIC

If all of the Czars
Played guitars,
They'd send Skynard
To the vineyard.  

INSTEAD OF DESTROYING OUR NUKES

Why don't we just sell them to Iran? 

HOW ABOUT THE "FAIR" TAX?

Let those who voted for Obama because he promised that taxes would not go up.... Let those who believed Obama when he said his Health Care Plan would actually reduce costs...

Let those guys pay the increased taxes. 

Let those of us who didn't believe a damned thing he said get a tax rebate. 

That's fair.  

You like the S.O.B. so much, YOU pay the freight! 

MILLIONS OF AMERICANS RISE IN UNISON!

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said yesterday that Barack Obama is “new to politics” and a very weak leader. 28 million Americans got off their asses, rose to their feet and gave each other the “high five.” Mahmoud for President! Mahmoud for President!

PUTTING FRANK AND DODD IN CHARGE OF FINANCIAL REFORM

Is like putting the fox in charge of the chicken coop. 

TIGER SWINGS AGAIN!

No, no, no!  I mean, he's back on the golf course!

OBAMA ON THE DEFENSIVE ABOUT BECK AND LIMBAUGH

They're picking on him...trying to turn people to hate him. 

Well, to be frank about it Mr. President, nobody likes a snot-nosed bully. 

IS ANOTHER CIVIL WAR IMMINENT?

Well, the way those far-left liberals talk, it most surely would not be civil.....

WOMEN

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=sXzrUztyd1Y

NO EASTER EGG HUNT AT THE WHITE HOUSE THIS YEAR!

The President and Congressional Democrats have already laid the biggest egg in history on the American public. 

MORE THAN 50% OF AMERICANS SAY

Obama should be dethroned. 

INSIDE STORY: OBAMA MAY RESIGN!

APRIL FOOLS!