LESLIE NEILSON

Has caught the last "airplane" out of town. 

THANK GOD IT'S MONDAY

I am so sick and tired of relaxing and enjoying life that I just can't stand it. 

A DIFFERENT KIND OF THANKSGIVING

I'm going to pack up my microwave and head for North Korea and I'm going to nuke the hell of them.  

Have a Happy Thanksgiving and I'll be back Monday. 

IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE TSA RULES...

Why get on the plane?
 
Seriously, if no one flies, I'm sure the airlines will straighten TSA out. 

HILLARY DONE WITH ELECTIVE OFFICE

Hillary Clinton said yesterday on the Fox Chris Wallace show that she will not seek the Presidency and that she is happy doing what she is doing and, finally, that she is completely done with all elective offices.  

This, of course, clears the way for Barack Obama to run for re-election in 2012 and for Nancy Pelosi to run in 2016.  

(I'm so happy, I could just shit.) 

NEW FAULT FOUND IN ROCKIES

There's a new fault found in the Rockies that's making the news.  Why doesn't anyone talk about the humongous fault running through Washington, DC?  Oh, I understand.  It's all about the quakes vs the quacks. 

THEY SAY SARAH PALIN CAN'T BEAT OBAMA

Hell, the way Obama is running this country, even Jimmy Carter could beat him in 2012. 

NEW YORK TERRORIST TRIAL STRATEGY

Ahmed Ghailani gets off.  Great job, there Eric.  Yes sir, great job.   

(You Obama guys are just so terrific.  Really.  Of COURSE I'm sincere.  Really.) 

WHO IN THE HELL IS PRINCE WILLIAM?

Doesn't he have some sound up in Canada someplace?  Is he related to Prince Albert in the can?  Or, the other Prince in the entertainment biz?  Whatever, I'm not looking forward to his picture on the throne......

I THINK WE SHOULD RAISE EVERYONE'S TAXES

Just kidding, just kidding. 
(That wasn't funny....)

I LOVE THANKSGIVING

It's the one day out of the year when big thighs are a good thing. 

SO, WHAT HAPPENED TO CHARLIE?

I guess Rangel decided not to wrangle. 
Where are Charlie's angels when he needs them?

ALCOHOL CUTS RHEUMATOID ARTHRITIS RISK IN HALF

Peeple who drink alcohol are lesh pron to the crippppling diseash called rhoomatoid arthritis compared wist non-drinkersh, according to a resent Scandinavianianian shtudy.       

 

SO THEY'RE GETTING RID OF TELEPHONE BOOKS?

My God, what is this country coming to?  Just a few months ago, Northern Tissue decided to make its tissue paper more narrow by 1/2 inch and now the phone books are going.  Next thing you know, honest politicians will be gone, too!

BILL AND HILLARY WENT TO COLLEGE AND GOT EDUCATED

$69 MILLION FOR CHINESE VASE

Flowers extra. 

NANCY TO THE REST OF THE HOUSE

VEGAS SHOULD DRY UP AND BLOW AWAY

After all, they gave us Harry Reid for six more years.  Obviously, they don't need our business...

I WONDER HOW OBAMA CAN FUNCTION

Now that Rhambo is gone. 

QUESTIONS, QUESTIONS

Now that the election is over, I have two questions:

1. Does Iran have the A-Bomb?
2. Is Lindsay Lohan in jail? 

PELOSI DOESN'T WANT TO QUIT

She likes her private Air Force jet. 

(Boehner gets a rubber ducky.) 

ALL SEEING, ALL KNOWING, ALL ENCOMPASSING

Nancy Pelosi. 

OBAMA WILL MAKE PEACE WITH THE REPUBLICANS

And all the King's horses and all the King's men,
Will sit at the table and have lunch with Little Bo Beep and Little Jack Horner. 
(Please pass the gray poop on....)

ONE THING THAT DIDN'T STOP DURING THE ELECTIONS

The killings along the Mexican border. 

(My God!  We still have a border with Mexico?)

WELL NOW, MR. OBAMA...

What do you think of your damned "change" now? 

TODAY

Today is the first day of the rest of our lives.  Vote.  Vote American. 

QUESTION OF THE YEAR

Given our current situation and given the legislation that has been passed in 2009 and 2010, and if you are an American and you voted for Obama and his cronies in 2008, are you really going to get up and go vote for them again tomorrow?