IF YOU DON'T FILE YOUR TAX RETURN...

The IRS won't have anything to audit. 

ROMNEY SPEAKS TO EMPTY STADIUM

Last Friday in 65,000 seat Detroit Lions' stadium, Romney gave a "key address" to a "crowd" of 1,200.  1,100 of them were hot dog vendors. 

IF WE GET RID OF ILLEGAL IMIGRANTS...

Who is going to mow the White House lawn?

IF WE IMPEACHED OBAMA AND BIDEN, WHO WOULD BE PRESIDENT?

Martin Sheen. 

THERE'S NO TRUTH TO THE RUMOR...

That John Edwards is going to get into the Republican Race. 

CAN RON PAUL WIN?

Win what?

REPUBLICAN INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC QUARTET

Gingrich pulls first string violin,
Santorum blasts away at the trumpet,
Romney plays the whoop de doop whatchamacallit,
Paul plays hind tit. 

MAXINE WATERS WANTS TO FORECLOSE YOUR HOME

She's been ranting, raving and screaming, "WE NEED TO TAKE BACK THE HOUSE!"

CONNECTICUT MAN EVICTING 98 YEAR-OLD MOM

He's obviously a Democrat; he says he's doing it for her own good. 

WHAT DO THE PRESIDENT'S THINK?

When they look at what is happening to our country today, I suspect they are all spinning in their graves. 

OBAMA NOW DICTATING TO YOUR KIDS

"Shut up and eat your lunch."

WHY I LIKE POLITICAL CAMPAIGNS

It gives me an excuse to go down to the topless bar and watch the polls. 

NOW THAT WE'RE GETTING CLOSER TO THE ELECTIONS

Why isn't Obama talking about his plans to bring Khalid Sheik Mohamed to New York City for a civilian trial? 

HOW TO LOWER YOUR SMARTPHONE BILL

Get the government to pay for it.  After all, they are a necessity, you know.  

OBAMA'S NEW JOB

He's giving tutoring lessons... in back-pedaling. 

WHAT OBAMA SAID TO TAXPAYERS WHEN HE DELIVERED HIS BUDGET

"Happy Valentine's Day, sweethearts!"

OBAMA DOES NOT EXIST

"The U.S. Government has no evidence that any life exists outside our planet, or than an extraterrestrial presence has contacted or engaged any member of the human race." ~ Phil Larson of the White House Science and Technology Department.  Therefore, Obama cannot exist.  

SO LONG, WHITNEY

You introduced so many of us to great music. 

GREECE JOB

I would surmise that, should Greece file bankruptcy and the European Union should fail, that would be known as a "Greece Job?"

ROMNEY THE DIP

They say that, inspite of recent political wins, Romney's national lead is dipping.  So, I vote that from now on, he shall be known as "Romney, the Dip." 

DONALD TRUMP LIKES MITT ROMNEY

Maybe they'll carve their initials in a tree on the White House lawn. 

OBAMA'S NOT SO SMART

He set up ObamaCare to cut care to seniors and save money, but he doesn't realize that after they die he can no longer collect their taxes. 

IF OBAMA TRULY BELIEVES IN JESUS...

Why is he always doing unto others what they do not want done?

IF THEY HATE THE RICH SO MUCH...

Why are they always buying lottery tickets? 

NASA WANTS MAN ON THE MOON

NASA wants to put another man on the moon.  I vote we just send Obama back there.  Don't you think he's really from outer space? 

ARE YOU ON THE LIST?

Once upon a time, they called it the "Nixon Enemy List."  Now, it's the Obama Enemies List.  If you're name is on it, you're ass is grass.  Right, Rush?

OBAMA'S NEW JOBS PLAN IS LIKE A SUPERBOWL

PUNT! 

HOW TO ANNOY A LIBERAL

Vote for Newt.