MR & MRS BRUCE JENNER

Well, if he goes through with the sex change operation and becomes female,  can't he marry herself and become... Mr. & Mrs. Bruce Jenner? 

BYE-BYE IRAQ

Obama says the fight against ISIS is in totally in Iraqi hands. 

BEST PLACE TO BE AN UNDERTAKER

Baltimore. 

FRENCH TONGUE

Thank God for the French.  They're now saying they will not... not... sign onto any nuclear deal with Iran that does not include site inspections.  Why does it take the French to inject some sanity into this farce? 

RINGLING BROTHERS RETIRING ELEPHANTS

So much for the Republicans.  Now if we can get the Robinson family to retire donkeys, we'll be in business. 

CONVENIENCE

How convenient it is for the Obama administration to lay the blame for defeat in Ramadi on the Iraqi army.  After all, Obama has yet to make a single mistake. 

IN THE POOR HOUSE

The Clintons are scrambling like crazy to make every dime they can before they have to take a drastic cut in pay at the White House.  Come on, be a sport and send them $100 today. 

OBAMA'S NOBEL PEACE PRIZE

Would someone PLEASE, grab it off the White House mantel and stick it up his posterior? 

"SLIGHT SETBACK"

Somehow, I think the residents of Ramadi have a different description of it.   

HANDY WITH A MACHETE?

You, too could get a job with in Saudi Arabian as an official Aexecutioner for those convicted of violating Shaia law.  Talent and experience a plus.  Degree in surgery preferred, but not required.  Gay blades need not apply.  Apply through Monster.com. 

ABOUT THAT BIKER RUMBLE IN WACO

I wonder if they were all wearing their helmets? 

OBAMA'S ANSWER TO "POLICE BRUTALITY"

Take away their equipment.

ONE BENEFIT OF DROUGHT

Think of all of the skeletons chained to concrete blocks they'll find at the bottoms of empty reservoirs. 

LAUGHING STOCK OF THE WORLD

ADDICTIVE BEHAVIOR

The I.R.S. says it knows it needs to stop targeting conservative groups. 

THE CONFERENCE OF THREE KINGS

So, two kings from the Middle East met with Obama at Camp David the other day....

B.S.

What in the world does a train traveling at more than twice the legal speed limit around a curve have to do with government spending on infrastructure? 

WASHINGTON D.C. MOVING AND STORAGE

Hoping Hillary wins so they can move the Clinton baggage back into the White House. 

MICHELLE'S LATEST SNIT

She's angry about being a Black woman, stuck in the White House. 

INVESTIGATE THE CLINTON FOUNDATION?

The I.R.S. has announced it will not investigate the Clinton Foundation because it has run out of funding. 

QUANDRY

I wonder of those Texas I.S.I.S. terrorists had concealed carry permits and had passed a gun safety course. 

HILLARY'S PRESIDENTIAL PORTRAIT

WHAT TO DO WITH THE KEYSTONE PIPELINE

Fill it with Keystone Beer. 

HOW TO SAVE CALIFORNIA WATER

Raise California taxes, force more people to move to Nevada and Oregon, and thereby reduce California's water needs. 

G.O.P. PRESIDENTIAL RACE

STUCK BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE

Democratic presidential nomination. 

HAPPY SINKO DE MAYO?

It's that time of the year again, the 5th of May... time for Cinco de Mayo. 

The question is, will America make it through the end of the month without sinking into the mayonnaise? 

THE PRESS GOD

They don't care about report the news and facts anymore; all they care about is making money.  Money is god. 

GUNS AND EARTHQUAKES

Guns are like earthquakes: they kill people and cause damage.  How come nobody wants to outlaw earthquakes? 

THUG

Poor, misunderstood, unemployed brick thrower and torch carrier.

IT'S A DOG'S WORLD

A dog in Abington, Scotland, caused a massive traffic jam because he was driving a tractor down the road.  I wonder if he'd consider running for president on the Democratic ticket...