MICHELLE CAMPAIGNS FOR BARACK

Yawner of the day. 

NEW GOVERNMENT REGULATION

Anyone more than 10 pounds overweight will have $1,000 annually added to their income tax starting in 2013, according to an Executive Order awaiting Obama's signature the day after November elections.  (Just kidding.) 

WHERE OBAMA FEARS TO TREAD

A Roman Catholic Church. 

OBAMA'S CORRECT! HE'S CUT SPENDING!

He's spent less money than any previous 20 Presidents combined....

I WONDER...

Will Obama be on the throne for 60 years?  No offense intended, Madame Queen. 

SUGAR NAZI

NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg

OBAMA IS NOT AN AMATEUR

He knows very well what he is doing to this country.  Give him just four more years, and he'll get it done.

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

Very soon, all of the Mexicans will be living here and we can move to Mexico and live in peace.

IT'S TOO DAMNED BAD...

That Barack Hussein Obama's parents didn't practice birth control. 

PLANNED PARENTHOOD ENDORSES OBAMA

Abort that. 

WHEN MICHELLE SPEAKS...

The world listens. 

WHAT OBAMA REALLY MEANS TO SAY

Is not "Let's redistribute the wealth" but, "Okay all you moochers,get in line!  Your free money is on its way from the working class citizens!"

SPECIAL MEMORIAL DAY POST

Speaking of memories, remember how wonderful things were in this country before we ever even heard the name... Barack Hussein Obama? 

A TAXPAYER WHO VOTES FOR OBAMA

Is like a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders. 

NANCY IS GETTING ANOTHER STREET NAMED AFTER HER IN S.F.

The first one is called "Princess" Avenue.  Then, there's Nitwit Lane...  Airhead Court...  Healthcare Street... And now... Nancy Pelosi Drive... "No right turns allowed."

DO NOT GAMBLE IN VEGAS

Obama has first dibs on your money. 

FACEBOOK

Will now have to face the music.  But, as the band warms up, they do have a partner... Morgan Stanley.  I don't think anyone wants to cut in on this dance. 

WHAT IF OBAMA DID NOT EXIST?

Who, just who then, would be our national deity? 

SINCE ANN ROMNEY IS FAIR GAME....

I guess it's safe to again bring up the official White House Pinata:

DONNA SOMER

What neat and swinging good disco music you gave all of us.  Dis go here and dis go there and disco the night away.  God bless and keep the music goin'. 

ETERNAL LIFE

A visitor to the Vatican has found Sylvester Stallone's face in an ancient 16th century painting.  

And you thought it was going to be Nancy Pelosi? 

PELOSI RAISES $43 MILLION

The story is that Ms. Pelosi has raised $43 million for Democratic Congressional candidates because she wants to be the Speaker again.  $43 million?  I've got two bucks that sez it'll never happen. 

OBAMA'S NEW SYSTEM

OBAMA IS FIRST?

There's a lot of flack over Newsweek naming "Obama America's First Gay President."  I agree.  The proper nomenclature is "America's First Black Gay President."

JAMES CARVILLE LIKES...

Mitt Romney?  Please bring me another bottle of scotch. 

ISN'T IT INTERESTING...

That we have to go to China and Japan to borrow money?  What that says to me is that U.S. citizens and businesses are unwilling to invest their money in our government, or all of this debt would be held domestically.  I sure as hell would not invest in a country that refuses to come to grips with a $16 trillion debt...

INSIDE OBAMA'S MIND

"NAG THEM?"

"Nag them until they actually get it done," Obama says. "We need to keep moving this country forward. Send them an email. Tweet them. Write them a letter if you're old-fashioned like me."  


He really wants us to get an impeachment proceeding going? 

OBAMA'S U.S. TREASURY ACCOUNT

Has more leaks in it than a galvanized bucket after being hit with six rounds of buckshot. 

PEACE

OBAMAMA KICKS OFF HIS CAMPAIGN

GEORGE LINDSAY

So long, Goober.  Thanks for some great laughs. 

TRUE GOD OF ALL GODS FINALLY REVEALED!

THE GREAT SPIRIT

Needs to be boycotted. 

OBAMA WENT TO AFGHANISTAN

Do ya think he registered some more voters? 

CHANGE

HAD ENOUGH?

AFTER OBAMA LOSES

Highly used teleprompters for sale, cheap....

ANOTHER RUMOR BITES THE DUST

The GSA is NOT hiring fired Secret Service Agents.  Not sure what Eric Holder is doing on the subject....

MERRILL LYNCH AD?

When Obama speaks, who listens? 

THERE'S NO TRUTH TO THE RUMOR

That John Edwards wants to be a Secret Service Agent...

USDA CONFIRMS NEW CASE OF MAD COW DISEASE

White House to be quarantined. 

OBAMA VS. ARIZONA

That's the crux of the problem with Obama: Arizona wants to follow the Federal Law and he doesn't.  Shouldn't he be in jail with the other criminals who didn't obey the law??? 

IF THEY KEEP FIRING GUILTY SECRET SERVICE AGENTS...

Pretty soon there'll be no one left to guard the President. 

PERPLEXED IN BURNEY

How we can point fingers of disgust at Secret Service agents who book a hooker and keep our mouths shut about a President who is raping and pillaging our treasury, I will never know. 

"JESUS LOVES YOU"

is always a good thing to hear....unless you are in a Mexican jail.

I MISSED MY CALLING IN LIFE...

I should have been a Secret Service Agent on the party circuit. 

THERE IS ONE THING YOU CAN ABSOLUTELY DEPEND ON OBAMA TO DO...

Waste your hard-earned money. 

ONCE OBAMA GETS INTO HIS FOURTH TERM....

Do you suppose he'll still be blaming Bush and using a teleprompter? 

THE BIGGEST PROBLEM WITH THE GSA SCANDAL...

What happened in Vegas didn't stay in Vegas!

DO YOU MIND IF I POKE A LITTLE FUN AT YOU?

I'm a Secret Service Agent, employed by the Obama Administration.... (Wanna see my credential?)

ONE MORE GREAT AMERICAN BITES THE DUST

So long, Dick Clark; may your band stand long and strong. 

NEVER, NEVER LAND...

Obama accepts responsibility for his mistakes. 

THE TITANIC SUNK 100 YEARS AGO

Our Ship of State sunk when we elected Barack Hussein Obama to be President of the United States. 

HAVE YOU PAID YOUR TAXES YET?

The GSA needs the money. 

ONCE WE ALL END UP ON GOVERNMENT SUBSISTENCE...

Who will be left to pay the taxes? 

WHY NOT LEGALIZE DRUGS?

After Obama gets reelected, the whole nation will need to be on drugs, anyway... just to survive. 

ROMNEY'S V.P. PICK

It's gonna be a toss-up between Al Gore and Hillary Clinton? 

WITH ALL THAT RUCKUS OVER AT THE GSA....

I'll bet the BSA and the Campfire Girls are just shaking in their boots.

SO LONG, MIKE

Mike Wallace gave us some real, honest reporting... nothing like Wolf Blitzer. 

OBAMA'S CHIEF ACCOMPLISHMENT IN THE LAST FOUR YEARS

He was "present." 

47 MILLION AMERICANS NOW LIVE IN POVERTY

Obama says his economic policies are working. 

LINE BY LINE?

Mr. Obama said, if you will recall, that he was going to go through the budget line by line looking for ways to save money. 

GSA?

Uh, well, let's skip that line. 

HUMILIATION

Why do the people humiliate themselves by voting? I probably won't vote because I have dignity. I will have to close my nose in order to vote for one of them.  What a great choice... Obama vs. Romney.  It'll be somewhat akin to voting for Charlie Keene vs Lindsay Lohan. 

PELOSI SPEAKS

THE GOVERNMENT IS WATCHING YOU

The Federal Government and other law enforcement agents have been following citizens around by using GPS to track cell phone movements.  So far, no word about how many Washington politicians have been tracked to call-girl apartments. 

SUPREME COURT SHAKING IN BOOTS

Obama vows big trouble if they overturn ObamaCare. 

I'LL JUST KEEP BLOGGING RIGHT ALONG...

Needless to say, I was not one of the winners of the $640 million. 

On the bright side?  Neither was Nancy Pelosi.   

ON THE CRITICAL CONDITION LIST

ObamaCare. 

OBAMA MAY NOT RUN IN 2012!

April Fool's

FIRST TIME IN RECORDED HISTORY A POPE HAS BEEN SPEECHLESS

FIDEL CASTRO ASKS "WHAT DOES A POPE DO?"

NFL PASSES NEW RULE FOR OVERTIME

Players must clock out at the end of the 1st half and clock back in just before the beginning of the 2nd half in order to receive overtime pay. 

TWO DRINKS A DAY

Two drinks a day are good for your heart and help reduce deaths from other disease, according to a recent study.  


I think I'll be fine until Christ returns. 

WHY THE CAPTAIN ON JET BLUE WENT BONKERS

He'd just found out that he wife is going to vote for Obama in November. 

HAVING THEIR DAY IN COURT

It seems to me that the day has finally come when...
The Supremes are having their day in Court. 

SANTORUM'S GREATEST SPEECH

If Mitt wins the Republican nomination, vote for Obama. 

LUNACY DEFINED

Nancy Pelosi

REMEMBER THAT BRIDGE TO NOWHERE?

How about an oil pipeline to nowhere... Texas to Oklahoma?  


Now, do you really think that any pipeline company in the world is going to build a pipeline to nowhere?  


Obama does. 

OBAMA'S NOBEL PEACE PRIZE

He gets the prize and we pay the price. 

SPERM AND ILLEGAL ALIENS

Sperm is like illegal aliens; millions come in, but only one works. 

ROMNEY GOT 52% OF THE ILLINOIS VOTE!

He should have... Illinois is traditionally a Democrat State.

TOTAL DENIAL

That's when you get when you ask a left-wing Democrat a direct question. 

ROMNEY GETS 83% OF THE VOTE!!!

In Puerto Rico, right after Santorum made an ass out of himself.  Finally, he gets more than 50%! 

DEFINITION OF "SPIN"

Obama

He needs to be put on the "finish" cycle.

EXIT STAGE LEFT

Rod Blagojevich.  Hair today, gone tomorrow? 

CHU ON THIS

Energy Secretary Steven Chu was FOR higher gas prices before he was against them.  Oh, and he was FOR bigger Solyndra loan guarantees before he was against them.  You'd almost swear he's a Senator from Massachusetts. 

RON PAUL WINS!

4th Place..... (Well, at least HE'S consistent!)

THEIR EYES ARE TOO CLOSE TOGETHER

It could probably be shown by facts, deeds and figures that there are no distinctly natural criminal classes except Congress and the White House. 

YES, WE NOW KNOW OBAMA WENT TO HARVARD

They've got video of him speaking highly of, and hugging a totally racially radical law professor, Derrick Bell.  (Hmmm... I wonder if it's true that he was attending there on a foreign scholarship?) 

KEYSTONE

It's a great beer... tastes almost like oil. 

CONGRESS IS DOING SUCH A GOOD JOB

Of showing the world what self-serving idiots they truly are. 

NANCY PELOSI'S SMILE

Could freeze hell over. 

REGULAR UNLEADED GAS AT 99 CENTS!

An ounce. 

HERE'S SOMETHING YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT OBAMA

He's Irish.

OBAMA IS DUMBER THAN HE LOOKS

RUBBING SALT IN THE WOUND: The story goes that Solyndra went under because foreign countries were able to manufacture, ship and sell solar panels for less than it could make them.  Any other President would have slapped an import tax on the incoming panels. 

NOW THAT IT'S SUPER TUESDAY

I wonder if Ron Paul can finally win an election. 

EGYPTIAN COURT REJECTS MICKEY MOUSE LAWSUIT

Holder's been at it again? 

A RECENT STUDY SHOWS...

Rich people are more likely to lie, cheat and steal.  And just how much has Mr. Obama increased his wealth by during the last three years?

ANDREW BREITBART

Fellow blogger and conservative, a true voice of America, now writing for the Heavenly Press. 

DATING SITES SUED OVER USE OF DEAD SOLDIER'S PICTURE IN ADS

So, if you can smoke pot and have a gay marriage, why can't you date a dead person? 

DAVEY JONES

Is now finally and surely... in his locker.  Oh, and by the way, skip the "e."