GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN

The way this government operates, we'll be much better off with them closed. 

ANARCHIST

Anyone who doesn't embrace ObamaCare. 

FORBIDDEN WORDS TO USE AT WHITE HOUSE

FOX NEWS. 

CONGRESSIONAL OBAMACARE WAIVER

THANK YOU

THANK YOU TED CRUZ FOR SPEAKING UP FOR AMERICANS!

SINK HOLE

Where the government is spending all of our money. 

BLACKBERRIES

What you give Obama for Christmas. 

WITH ALL OF THE DEMOCRATS YELLING THERE'S GOING TO BE A GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN....

How can they blame the Republicans? 

CHEMICAL WEAPON

Little Ms. Piggy's douche. 

ASHAMED

If I were him, I'd be ashamed of having my name associated with ObamaCare. 

ASSERT

How your fanny feels after it falls onto the cactus. 

GOVERNMENT SHUT DOWN

If it happens, will they send Congress home?  Or, will Congress continue working... without pay? 

IRRELEVANT

Anything Obama says. 

QUIET AS A CHURCH MOUSE

Hillary Clinton. 

POLL DANCER

What Obama did so well until all of his chickens started coming home to roost. 

CONSUMER FINANCIAL PROTECTION AGENCY

Sucking up what little private information about you that has not already been sucked up by I.R.S., D.H.S. and N.S.A... And yes, they DO know what brand of toilet tissue you use. 

PUTIN

Putin, Putin, poodnin pie,
Why'd you make Obama cry? 

EXCEPTIONAL NATION

Obama is correct in saying we are an exceptional nation.  No other country has a leader like him. 

SNOW JOB

What Obama got from Putin for 9/11.

BARRY'S NEW POSSESSION

It's a full year since the Benghazi Massacre and, since Obama has refused answers and stonewalled investigations, he now owns it. 

WHY OBAMA REALLY WANTS TO BOMB SYRIA?

He would kill for another Nobel Peace Prize. 

OBAMACARE CHORUS LINE

Remember how they were singing to us the night before they all crammed ObamaCare down our throats?  Here they are again, Obama, Pelosi, Reid, Boehner, Graham, McCain.... a GREAT American chorus on the very eve of a Syrian bombing?

We've really GOT to have this vote, away from the fog of the controversy, so we'll all know what's in it. 

COME UPPANCE

What Obama is now getting in return for his cavalier disregard for American democracy. "We don't need no dictator." 

WALKING ON EGGSHELLS

Putin and Obama at the G20 Summit. 

IT'S GOING TO BAD A BAD DAY IN BLACK ROCK....

  If Obama doesn't get his way.   

GOOD RIDDANCE

ARIEL CASTRO

PSST!! HEY, BARRY! HAVE I GOT A DEAL FOR YOU!

You come clean on Benghazi, N.S.A., D.O.J., Fast & Furious and the I.R.S. and we'll let you go after Syria. 

IT NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE ME

How all of the talking heads who don't even know what a carbine looks like can provide the country with endless dictates about what we should do in Syria. 

ZINGGED OUT

SEE YOU TUESDAY.

HAVE A GREAT LABOR DAY AND A FANTASTIC BBQ

THE PROBLEM WITH SYRIA

Obama didn't bow low enough. 

I HAVE A DREAM

And it most definitely does NOT include Barack Hussein Obama. 

DOWN AND DIRTY

Miley Cyrus

6,567

That's the number of new Federal Regulations that affect you which have been enacted... in the last 90 days. 

DELBERT BELTON

May the two black kids who beat this 88-year-old to death with flashlights in Spokane rot in hell. 

I WAS GOING TO INVITE YOU TO MY PARTY, BUT...

I was reading through the list of people who have been spied on by the N.S.A. and I didn't see your name there!  Oh, lah, dee, dah. 

MIXED UP PRIORITIES

I think the damned press and media should worry a whole lot less about the insignificant things in life, like where Samantha Powers has been and why, and whole lot more about the important things such as what in the Sam hell we're going to do about the jackass we have in the White House. 

SHUCK AND DUCK, BOB AND WEAVE

Obama strategy on Syria

HOW TO GET A RAISE

Go on welfare. 

WHAT ABOUT THE DOG?

We haven't heard a word about whether or not their dog went back to the White House with them!  Did he have to take the Greyhound? 

ANIMAL HOUSE

1600 Pennsylvania House NE

FATWAH

The national war against fat people. 

2,700

The number of "accidental mistakes" the N.S.A. made in violating the law and spyng on Americans... last year. 

SHOW YOUR TRUE COLORS

Buy an Obama mask today!

NUCLEAR WEAPON?

Lois Lerner's private email account. 

BYE, BYE NOW

Jesse Jackson Jr. 

OBAMACARE

A wholly owned subsidiary of the Democratic Party. 

CALIFORNIA

The Golden State, where boys are girls and girls are boys. 

HOT SEX

Tabasco on Weiner. 

RACISM

Obama's answer to everything. 

DOMESTIC SPYING PROGRAM

Television cameras installed to monitor your illegal Mexican gardeners and maids. 

MARTHA'S VINEYARD

Jackal's Summer Hideout. 

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY

The I.R.S., N.S.A., D.O.J., E.P.A., D.H.S., and/or C.I.A., may be listening. 

COMMANDER IN CHIEF

Valerie Jaret

CUCKCOO'S NEST

Presidential Quarters at the White House. 

DALLIANCE

What Anthony Wiener, Elliott Spitzer and Bob Filner all have in common:  They want to dally with the dolly. 

PHONY

Of Presidential origin; that is, the scandals are phony. 

WHY HOLDER IS HANGING ON....

Michelle won't allow Kamala Harris to be the next Attorney General. 

FROM RUSSIA, WITH LOVE

We've got Snowden.  Nyah, nyah, nyah. 

ZEALOT

I'm so confused.  Now, Jesus is being called a Zealot.  I thought Obama was Jesus.  Oh, no... now I get it.  Obama is the Omnipotent One.  I wonder, if the Zealot and the Omnipotent One ever got into an argument, who do you think would win? 

SHOVEL READY

I winder of all of those non-existent "shovel ready" jobs Obama was going to create back in 2009 are ready yet? 

PERPETUAL VACATION

President Obama. 

TRAYVON MARTIN IS DEAD

Get over it. 

SIGNS YOU ARE ABOUT TO HEAR A LIE

"Now, let me be clear about this!" 

"PHONY SCANDALS?"

I didn't realize they had installed area code 900 phone numbers at the White House. 

PSEUDONYMS

INTRODUCING THE MAYOR OF NEW YORK CITY, HE'S ON 'ER....

Carlos Danger!  

Oh, oh, sorry folks.... it's

Carlos Dangle!

Uh Oh, this could be embarrassing...

Tony the Wiener!

... Oh well, you get the idea. 

IT'S SO HOT

I had to rename my dog Pierre. 

YOU JUST CAN'T CHANGE THE SPOTS ON A

Weiner. 

IT'S A BOY!

Finally!  Zimmerman will exit the news cycle!

A ROLLING STONE

Gathers no readers. 

OBAMA: "TRAYVON MARTIN COULD HAVE BEEN ME."

I hate to say this Barry, old chap, but there are a whole lot of people out here in this country that wish that were the case. 

DEER IN THE HEADLIGHTS

How Democrats look when you mention ObamaCare. 

OBAMA'S MOTTO

Don't try and blame me!  The buck stopped with Truman, remember? 

PYRAMID SCHEME

What the ancient Egyptians did for entertainment. 

AN ONLINE INSURANCE AD...

Suggests that it's better to buy life insurance before you die. 

ABORTION

Is definitively a dead issue. 

ZIMMERMAN IS GUILTY

The jury was wrong.  Just ask Jessie Jackson who, obviously, is an undeclared eye-witness. 

THERE'S NO TRUTH TO THE RUMOR...

That Obama is going to nominate Arizona Governor Jan Brewer to take Janet Napolitano's place. 

WHY IS IT?

All of the high-browed Congress Members are running around pontificating that there is no way the IRS should be in charge of the ObamaCare collections and fines; yet, there has not been a peep or hint of legislation to rectify the problem from anyone. 

THE EPTOME OF PROGRESSIVE REPUBLICANISM

John McCain

NFL GETS IRS AUDIT!

Rumor has it that the NFL, having refused the White House command to come out in support of ObamaCare, is now being audited by the IRS.  But, be assured that it's not political.....

THOMAS JEFFERSON ON OBAMACARE

"To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical." ~ Thomas Jefferson

FIGMENTS

Has it ever occurred to you that the world actually did end with the Mayan calendar on December 21st and that we are all merely figments of our own imagination?  If that's true, someone could burst our bubble and Obama would disappear into oblivion.  

Meanwhile, back at the bottom of the bottle of rum...

NOW THAT WE'VE READ IT

THAT THAT WE CAN SEE IT OUTSIDE OF THE FOG OF THE CONTROVERSY

Maybe... Just Maybe... We shouldn't rush into It?  
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2013/07/04/republicans-launch-probe-into-obamacare-mandate-delay/

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY

WHY IS IT?

When a court trial starts, all other news stops? 

IT'S SO HOT

You don't see ANY cats on hot tin roofs these days. 

MAFIA QUESTION

When is the last time in your memory that a Mafia Boss came out and explained anything to anybody?  Well, then, when is the last time Obama came and explained Benghazi?  

Fast & Furious?
IRS?
EPA?
DOJ?
NSA?

BLOOMBERG

He's kind of like the Eveready battery; he just keeps blooming and blooming and blooming. 

WHY OBAMA JUST LOVES GEORGE ZIMMERMAN

Now that the trial is on, there's a total dearth of news about Banghazi, EPA, IRS, DOJ......

A ZIMMERMAN CASE TWIST

They say Martin got a bang out of it. 

SNOWDEN, ZIMMERMAN, HERNANDEZ

The Three Mouseketeers ride again!  

ACCORDING TO MICHAEL BLOOMBERG

The overwhelming majority of obese Americans are overweight. 

PUTIN, REGARDING SNOWDEN

Finally, someone on the face of this earth has the guts to stand up to Obama.  So should the rest of us. 

AARON HERNANDEZ

O.J.'s protege?  Well, they both had white SUV's and football friends.  I've got six bits that says a pair of black gloves shows up in this case... And they won't fit. 

SNOWDEN

What would we do if Edward ended up holed out in The Duke of Earl's palace?  They could be related, you know. 

JAY CARNEY COULD JOIN LOS ANGELES DODGERS

Well, why not?  He's an expert at dodging, not to mention shucking and ducking.   

FINAL THOUGHT ON THAT $100 MILLION TRIP TO AFRICA

There are probably at least 250 million Americans who would just as soon cut his expenses to $50 million and make it a one-way trip. 

ON THAT $100 MILLION TRIP TO AFRICA

I wonder if Obama is going to stop in and visit his birthplace? Gosh, he'll be able to write a new book: "BACK TO AFRICA," by The Omnipotent One. 

2,500 JOBS AT $40,000 PER YEAR

That's what Obama is spending on his $100 million trip back to Africa.

PORNOGRAPHY AND OBAMA

Neither one has any socially redeeming value.