IS THERE LIFE AFTER DEATH?

Evidently, only if you're a left-wing radical Democrat. 

BEWARE THE FLY

Look at those household flies carefully.  They could be IRS or NSA drones checking out your house, friends and spending habits. 

DON'T YOU WONDER?

How many of those 1.6 billion rounds of ammunition the government ordered were in the possession of BLM and NPS agents when they rode onto the Bundy Ranch? 

OBAMA DOESN'T LIKE BEN CARSON?

Maybe he'll send some BLM SUV's and armored personnel over to Ben's place to churn up his lawn, seize his dogs and egg his car. 

THERE'S NO TRUTH TO THE RUMOR...

That Kathleen Sebelius is going to take charge of the B.L.M. in Nevada. 

I.R.S. AGENTS IN TRAINING

A reliable source tells me that the BLM and National Park Service agents who raided the Bundy Ranch in Nevada are actually in training for ObamaCare enforcement by the IRS. 

THE NEXT SCHOOL SHOOTING...

Will probably occur when some kid who has been forced to eat on the pitiful Michelle Obama school lunch program gets jealous over his friend who brings his own lunch from home... steak sandwich and a cherry tart for desert.   

AFTER PAYING YOUR OBAMACARE PREMIUM...

Who in the hell can afford to pay their taxes? 

WHEN WILL THE BUSH FAMILY EVER LEARN?

Three meatheads and you're out! 

DEAR MS. SEBELIUS

Don't let the door hit you in your ass on the way out. 

I BELIEVE IN THE WAR AGAINST WOMEN

Debbie Wasserman Schulz, Nancy Pelosi, Maxine Waters, Barbara Boxer....

ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST

The National Parks Service and the State of Minnesota are working together to determine what effect different bridge construction designs have on the mortality of birds.  That's our tax money in action. 

THE SKY TRULY IS THE LIMIT

The Democrats in Congress are making a strong effort to raise taxes. 

MICKEY ROONEY

ANOTHER GREAT ICON OF AMERICA'S PAST PASSES ON... 

And we're stuck in this mess. 

COINCIDENTALLY...

Mars will be exactly opposite the sun in the sky in a rare cosmic alignment set to take place Tuesday (April 8).  Called an opposition, this happens with Mars from Earth's perspective every 778 days, or 2 years, 1 month and 18 days.  

Oddly enough, this event coincides with President Obama's menstrual cycle. 

THEY HEARD A "PING" IN THE INDIAN OCEAN

They now await a "pong." 

BOYCOTT

Mozilla. 

WHEN OBAMA MET WITH THE POPE...

Did the Pope sign up for ObamaCare? 

OBAMA'S IMPERIAL PRESIDENCY

One big, sad, ugly joke. 

THE ALL-TIME BIGGEST APRIL FOOL'S PRANK EVER

There he was, surrounded by his minions in the Rose Garden, announcing that ObamaCare is a rousing success with 7.1 million people signed up.  I will go on record right now as saying that figure is just another in a long series of bogus lies and misrepresentations stretching all of the way back to Obama's announcement that we have 57 states in the Union.  

What a sham.  What a scam.  Indeed, what a President! 

GOOD MORNING!

HAPPY

APRIL FOOLS DAY!

IMPEACH

LEGAL OPINION

Attorneys are like assholes; all they do is fabricate crap. 

RAPE

ObamaCare

HOW TO INCREASE OBAMACARE SIGNUPS

Instead of blowing taxpayer money trying to convince people to sign up for ObamaCare, why not use this advertising line: "It's positively the worst, dumbest and most costly legislation ever passed in America."  

I'll guarantee you that all of the left-wing liberals in the country will go and sign up for it. 

OBAMA TOP'S THIS LIST

The single most dangerous threat to our national security is indeed not Russia; it's Barack Hussein Obama. 

IMPEACH NUMB NUTS

No further comment necessary. 

DAMNED RIGHT I'M A RACIST

I'm a member of the Tea Party Patriots and the last thing I want in our country is a President who wants to destroy us whether he be black, green, white or Mexican.  And, given the quality of THIS black President, it will be a cold day in hell before I vote for another BLACK President, except maybe for Ben Carson or Allen West. 

IT'S TOO BAD THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T HAVE...

A President. 

THERE'S NO TRUTH TO THE RUMOR...

That they're having a Tea Party at the White House. 

DANGER! DANGER, VLADIMIR!

Obama's gonna slap another sanction on you!

Danger!  Danger! 

HOW DARE YOU SAY...

OUR SHIT STINKS 

THERE COULD BE TRUTH TO THE RUMOR...

That the EPA and the DHS are going to start requiring no smoking sections in cemeteries. 

DILLUSIONAL

Barack Hussein Obama. 

OBAMACARE SIDE EFFECTS

SIDE EFFECTS OF OBAMACARE:

Headache, delayed treatment, empty wallet and zero choice. 

THE LUCK OF THE IRISH

Did you ever stop to think, if it hadn't been for the luck of the Irish we wouldn't have Obama as President? 

HILLARY FOR PRESIDENT

HYPOCRITES

A tightly knit group of Left-Wing radical Democrats, including Obama, Pelosi, Reid, Wasserman-Schultz, Clinton and other establishment elitists.  Sometimes referred to as "numbskulls." 

RACIST

Anyone other than a left-wing, Obama Democrat. 

TODAY IS THURSDAY THE 13TH

That must mean Obama is still in office. 

ASK THE SURGEON GENERAL

Why is it that smoking tobacco is bad for your health and smoking pot is not?

WHY I'M NOT MAD AT HARRY REID

Who could get mad at a guy known for years in Vegas as "Mr. Clean Face?"  Check it out on Google. 

YOU CAN'T TEACH OLD DOGS NEW TRICKS

That's the best reason in the world to elect a whole new Congress. 

PUTIN NOMINATED FOR NOBEL PEACE PRIZE

Why not?  He's so much Obama... Handsome, suave, smooth talking and Marxist to the nth degree.  In fact, I'd be willing to bet my last ruble that they were both born under the same muck.

ARE YOU ONE OF THE CHOSEN FEW?

If you're one of those few people who don't belong to a union, don't work for Congress, don't work for a big employer, aren't too poor, aren't too rich, didn't vote for Obama... In other words, if you're an average, middle class American who had an insurance policy that worked for you and you could afford, then you are part of the chosen few who get the numerous ObamaCare shafts.  The rest of you unfortunate souls who can't get the shaft now will have to wait for it until after the elections.  

But then, you'll get it BIG time, and that'll make up for it. 

THERE'S NOW SOME REAL MEANING TO THAT AD...

AN ARMY OF ONE!

EMERGENCY WHITE HOUSE MEETING

Obama to Putin: "Please, please get your troops out of Crimea." 

Putin to Obama: "What troops?  We don't have any troops in Crimea."  

They have now been in an emergency meeting at the White House for three days, 14 hours and 29 minutes trying to figure out what to say next.

CLINTON PAPERS

On examination of Clinton White House papers, they're finding... stains... mysterious DNA stains. 

WHAT OBAMA SAID TO PUTIN ON THAT 90 MINUTE CALL

PLEASE Mr. Putin!
I don't want to cry!
(Shades of General Custer at the Battle of the Little Big Horn.)

BIDEN'S RUNNING MATE

If Joe Biden gets the Democratic nomination, he intends to have Bart Simpson as his running mate. 

Don't forget... you heard it here first. 

REDSKINS RENAMED!

The Washington Redskins, after great deliberation, have decided to change their name to something more relative to the nation's capitol.  From now on, the team will be known as the Washington Twits. 

OBAMACARE'S COMPUTER WIZARDS STARTED HERE

HARRY REID'S NEW PORTRAIT

WAR ON WOMEN

LET'S START WITH HER...

OBAMA'S GLOWING ACHIEVEMENT

SUSAN ELIZABETH RICE

The epitome of truth.  

SPEAKING OF CLOWNS IN D.C.

THE CLOWNS ARE DISAPPEARING?

Word out on FOX News last Wednesday was that clowns are disappearing from the American landscape.  Evidently, they haven't been to Washington, DC lately. 

T.S.

71% of those who voted for Obama's reelection now wish they could change their vote.  Those people have probably just been targeted for IRS audits. 

THE MOST FAMOUS ONE-WORD LIE EVER TOLD

"Period." 

REMEMBER "CASH FOR CLUNKERS?"

I don't think we realized it was about us forking over the cash and getting ObamaCare.... 

HILLARY'S V.P.

THE PERFECT PAIR

B.C.

All I can say is that it's too, too damned bad that Obama's mother didn't practice birth control. 

COMPUTERS 101

You shouldn't let your printer go out so often.  One of these nights, it's going to come home with three or four more stray printers behind it...

HELP THE ECONOMY

Send a tea bag to the IRS today. 

SID CAESAR

Another smile on  my face, gone forever. 

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, HILLARY

Here... have a box of Benghazi chocolates. 

WHEN YOU WISH UPON A STAR

You wish the clock of American life could be turned back to the days when Shirley Temple was that star.  

2ND QUESTION OF THE WEEK

With all of the partying going on at the White House, why don't they ever have a "Tea Party?"

QUESTION OF THE WEEK

Why do they refuse to ask voters to put up their photo I.D. in order to vote and then turn around and ask the same people to put up their photo I.D. in order to use food stamps? 

THAT'S FAIR, ISN'T IT?

Workers at the I.R.S., which targeted conservative groups and admitted it, even when the President said there was not a smidgen of corruption... well, they're getting a $60 million bonus.  

Members of the military, which put the lives of its people on the line in Afghanistan and Iraq to serve America and protect world freedom... well, they're getting a reduction in pay raises and COLA's.  

Now, isn't that just about the fairest thing you've heard of in years? 

N.S.A. HAVING HARD TIMES

The N.S.A. has leaked a story that claims it's domestic collection of telephone data has dropped to 30% from 2006 when it was almost 100%.  The reports say the agency’s anti-terrorism, data-gathering project has been unable to adapt to the country’s rapid and large-scale transition from landlines to cells phone, anonymous officials and sources told The Washington Post and The Wall Street Journal.  GOSH, I guess that means there's not even a smidgen of corruption the the N.S.A., either, right? 

ANOTHER OBAMACARE GLITCH

They can't decide who is a hospital inpatient vs. who is just in for observation. 

Who's on first?  Who's on second?  Are Abbott and Costello really Obama and Sebelius? 

"SMIDGEON"

Isn't that what they call a radioactive fish? 

HILLARY CLINTON FOR PRESIDENT

JANE FONDA FOR VICE PRESIDENT. 

GOVERNOMICS 101

The government wants to assess a fee of 15 cents for each Christmas tree harvested.  It's not a tax... it's a fee; that means it comes out of your left pocket instead of your right pocket.  It will cost them about $2.00 in labor and administrative costs per tree to enforce the collection. 

Just remember one thing; YOU elected these imbeciles... not I. 

O'REILLY VS. O'BAMA

Two Irishmen duked it out... no beer, no Rose Garden, but lots of corned beef. 

SEAHAWKS SQUEAK BY BRONCOS

Barely win, 43-8 in a breathtaking finish. 

AS A MATTER OF FACT...

The only reason Obama keeps Joe Biden around is for Impeachment insurance. 

WELCOME TO SUPER BOWEL SUNDAY

WAR AGAINST WOMEN

Ammo on sale at Ethel M's.    

CONSERVATIVES FLEEING NEW YORK

All three of them have announced they are fed up and leaving the state. 

REGARDING OBAMA'S SPEECH....

WHY IS IT?

The closer Americans get to the truth, the lower Obama gets in the polls?

TRUER WORDS WERE NEVER SPOKEN

"You lie!" Representative Joe Wilson, interrupting Obama's speech to Congress about his health care agenda,  September 9, 2009. 

HEY, JOE!

COME HERE AND SHINE MY SHOES! 

PRESS

Wholly-owned propaganda arm of the Democratic Party. 

CLIMATE CHANGE

Caused by human activity; prior to the arrival of humans, therefore, there was no climate. 

LIE OF THE DECADE

You can depend on Obama.  

HILLARY MAY HAVE COMPETITION

The word is, "Carlos Danger" may run for President. 

DEAR MR. PRESIDENT

If you had your choice, would you rather talk about race, or Benghazi? 

"GREATER TRANSPARENCY"

Obamaspeak for "You'll never get a answer to it." 

MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY AT THE WHITE HOUSE.....

LIFE THREATENING DISEASE

ObamaCare 

CLUCK, CLUCK, CLUCK

All of Obama's chickens are coming home to roost. 

THERE'S NO TRUTH TO THE RUMOR...

That they're going to rename Martin Luther King Day to Barack Hussein Obama Day... is there? 

WILL CHRISTIE RUN FOR PRESIDENT?

Traffic permitting, he'll cross that bridge when he gets to it. 

"LET THEM ROT"

What Obama said when he got on Air Force One to fly to Vegas while the blood was still flowing in the Benghazi Compound? 

IRANIAN AGREEMENT

You're running out of money to build your bomb?  Well, here's $4.2 billion to help you out.  All you have to do is promise not to build it.

 

REPREHENSIBLE

Barack Hussein Obama