HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND

SEATTLE'S HOMELESS PROBLEM NOW SOLVED!

Starbucks has solved Seattle's homeless problem by allowing anyone to camp out in their stores.  

 

SPIES, SPIES EVERYWHERE

It's beginning to look as if there were more spies lurking in the Trump campaign than we could shake a stick at.  I wonder if Jeff Sessions was one of them?

MAGPIE IN HEAT

OBAMA'S MAFIA MAKES THREAT

President Trump made a demand over the weekend that the DOJ had better investigate whether or not his campaign was spied upon by the FBI, the CIA and/or the DOJ in 2016.  Shortly thereafter, John Brennan fired off a nastygram to Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan warning them that they had better reign in Trump immediately... or else.  
 

IF YOU TAKE GOD OUT OF THE COUNTRY...

Only the Democrats will be left.  

COFFEE

They say drinking coffee can protect your liver from alcohol damage, so now I add  coffee to my Irish whiskey.  

MARGOT KIDDER

Hopefully the demons that plagued her have let her go in peace.  

A GARGANTUAN AMAZON MISTAKE

Amazon.com is raising the cost of it's "Prime" membership.  Why continue to pay for it when you can get the same benefits from Walmart for free?

MEGHAN MCCAIN RANTS

Meghan McCain is upset that someone in the White House insulted her dad.  Well, Meghan, it's like this:  I'm, a red-blooded American  conservative and your dad is an asshole.  Someday, when you grow up, you will come to understand why I feel that way.  I'm sorry to put it to you this way but, one thing I am not is politically correct.

HERE'S HOPING FOR A BLUE WAVE IN NOVEMBER

A huuuge wave bye-bye, that is.  
 

GLOWERING IN WASHINGTON

Remember when Obama said, shortly before leaving the White House, the he'd be living just down the street and looking over Donald Trump's shoulder to make sure he didn't get out of line?  

DEMOCRAT POLITICALLY CORRECT SISSY PANTS

A terrorist doesn't mind hijacking a plane and flying it into a building full of unsuspecting occupants.  That terrorist takes great pleasure in slicing off your head and burning it.  But we can't spray that terrorist with a garden hose to get answers out of him, because it's not nice?   

KATHY GRIFFIN

The "lady" who held up Trump's severed head for the world to see is still arrogantly ticked off at the multitudes of people who think the act was disgusting and vile... but, she refuses to apologize for it.  

  

WAH!

 

WHERE'S LISA PAGE GOING NEXT?

CNN or MSNBC?  

THE REAL MONEY BEHIND FUSION GPS DOSSIER

HILLARY'S LATEST EXCUSE

Saying I was a capitalist hurt me!  Wahhhh! 

FACEBOOK QUESTION

So, if a conservative goes on a rant on Facebook, that's hate speech; but, if a liberal goes on a rant on Facebook, it's not?
 

NEW POLITICAL PARTY EMERGES

The Socialist Democrat Party of the Liberated Left is now signing up candidates for November elections. 

FANCY NANCY SPEAKS

She discourages any talk of impeaching Trump... until after the Democrats win back the House and Senate in November.  

Instead, I guess, she wants the Dems to work on repealing "crumbs."  

MEET MICHELLE WOLF

Newest member of Kathy Griffin Fan Club

CAN ANYONE FIGURE THIS OUT?

Why did Hillary launder her payments to Fusion GPS for the production of the "dossier" through Perkins-Coie and subsequently fail to include the payment as part of her financial reporting to the Federal Election Commission in violation of campaign finance law? 

Just curious. 

WHY MUELLER SIMPLY MUST SUCCEED

If he doesn't, Hillary won't pick him as her running mate in 2020. 

DON'T GIVE YOUR NUMBER TO THE HERITAGE FOUNDATION

The calls just keep coming, and coming and coming... all hours of the day and night.  

 

OBAMA, SOROS, RUSSIANS...

Continue to fan the flames of division within America.  

THE DEMOCRATS HAVE PROVEN THEMSELVES

To be far better more effective than Ex-Lax. 

ACTUALLY, I FEEL SORRY FOR JIM COMEY

IT'S SIMPLY NOT TRUE

McCain did not have surgery to have his mouth sewn shut. 

BARBARA BUSH

The cornerstone of the Bush empire and one of the finest First Ladies in history... I wish you well.  

ART BELL

Fittingly, he died on Friday the 13th.  
 

WORSE THAN A COBRA

LIAR, LEAKER, LAWBREAKER

James Comey

GESTAPO U.S.A.

Robert Mueller, Rod Rosenstein, Christopher Wray, Jeff Sessions

WARNING TO WOULD-BE POLITICIANS

If you are planning for running for office in thr 2018 elections, don't bother to do so if you intend to join the "establishment." 

MORPHING 101

John McCain may have been a war hero at one time, but these days he's a downright asshole. 

JEFF SESSIONS NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE ME

Instead of appointing John Huber, an Obama man, to look into FISA abuses, why didn't Sessions just go ahead and ask Loretta Lynch to do it?  

WASHINGTON ETHICS 101

The Dems are outraged that Scott Pruitt took a $50 per night room in Washington from a lobbyist, but see nothing wrong with Robert Mueller's hiring of 16 staunch Democrats to investigate a crime that doesn't exist. 

PACIFIERS AND DIAPERS URGENTLY NEEDED

It is now 18 months since Donald J. Trump was elected to the Presidency and they are STILL whining about it!

WHEN YOU PAY YOUR TAXES THIS YEAR, REMEMBER

You're paying for abortions, you're paying for ObamaCare, you're paying for sanctuary cities and you're not paying for any border wall.  

TRUMPS NEXT DEED?

After the outrageous signing of the Omnibus Bull, do we presume that Trump's next move will be to abolish the 2nd Amendment?  Just sayin'...

 

BEFORE TRUMP SHOVED IT UP OUR REARS...

He could have at least sent us some Vaseline.  

Yes, I'm still damned angry. 

AFTER WATCHING THIS OUTRAGEOUS OMNIBUS BILL PASS...

I'll even vote for Romney in 2020.  

THIS IS THE PRESIDENT WE VOTED FOR?

"It was a lousy bill, but I signed it." 

I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHY...

Why didn't Trump run as a left-wing Democrat from the beginning?  

ONE HUUUGE EASTER EGG

Trump laid one for Easter...

It's called the Omnibus Bill 

BYE, BYE REPUBLICANS

It's not even April yet, and I already know who I'm going to vote against in November.  

MAKING AMERICA CRAPPY AGAIN

Trump, McConnell and Ryan; they sold out everything we voted for in 2016.  

 

JOE BIDEN

He reminds me of a magpie that's had too much to drink.  

I JUST GOT A CALL FROM BILL CLINTON

He wants to know if I can put him in touch with Stormy Daniels.  

AUSTIN

What do you think?  Is this scum bomber:

a.  An illegal alien?

b.  A terrorist?

c.  An NRA member?  

ANDREW MCCABE

Bye, bye now you anti-American bum.  

STEPHEN HAWKINGS

Off to search for another black hole.  

I'VE GOT TRUMP ALL FIGURED OUT

There's no way you can figure him out.  

ABOUT THOSE CRUMBS

Nancy Pelosi has decided she would now like you to donate those tax reform "crumbs" to her 2018 Congressional reelection campaign...  Suddenly, those crumbs have some value. 

EXTREME SEWER EMERGENCY IN WASHINGTON DC

When news came out of the House Intelligence Committee yesterday that it found no collusion between Trump and the Russians in the 2016 campaign, Paul Ryan and his Progressive Republicans, Never Trumpers, and Democrats all headed for the commodes at the same time.  Warning: System Overload!  Warning! 

KATHY GRIFFIN'S COMEBACK

Kathy Griffin has announced she's going on tour again.  

What a doll!  

 

NO MORE BEETLE DUNG ON HIGHWAYS

Volkswagen is exterminating the Beetle.  

NCP

Nancy "Crumbs" Pelosi

JEFF SESSIONS' CHIEF ACCOMPLISHMENT IN HIS FIRST YEAR

He collected a government pay check.  

VOTE FOR DEMOCRATS: VOTE FOR SOCIALSM

WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT...

The NRA is on the American side.  

IF YOU'RE AN AMERICAN GUN OWNER...

There's never been a better time than now to join and stand with the NRA.  

MOWING THE GRASS

The only reason Nancy Pelosi wants the Border Patrol to mow the grass is that the old cow is hungry.  

BILLY GRAHAM

He can no longer pray for us; we're going to have to relearn how to do it for ourselves.  

MUELLER GUESSING GAMES

Why would you indict 13 Russians when you know none of them will ever stand trial? 

NOW WHO'S COLLUDING WITH THE RUSSIANS?

Much of the information Mueller released last Friday about the Russian efforts to influence the election was in Andrey Zakharov's 4,500-word article in a Russian business magazine four months ago.

DON'T YOU WONDER?

How many presidents are spinning in their graves when they look at this country today?  

GO FIGURE

Every kid at the Florida high school says Nikolas de Jesus Cruz, the shooter, acted crazy.  He had been expelled from the school due to his behavior.  He reportedly followed Syrian resistance groups and had researched the meaning of Allahu Akbar.  

While nobody in eight years of the Obama administration initiated any studies of the root causes of shootings, the Democrat gun-control advocates were quick to blame members of the NRA for this shooting spree. 

VIC DAMONE

One of the last of the great crooners has left the stage.  

POLITICS, LIES AND PUTRESCENCE

Synonyms. 

VIGILANTE JUSTICE

Vigilantes should be allowed to castrate and kill any SOB who shoots a cop, or any left-wing liberal who opposes the idea. 

DEAR MR. OBAMA

Your chickens are coming home to roost.  

JOHN MAHONEY

A great actor has left the stage.  

THINK HARD NOW...

When was the last time that the Democrats admitted they had done anything wrong? 

DID YOU NOTICE?

Trump wasn't touting the stock market yesterday.  

DEMOCRATS EXPLAIN AWAY THE FISA MEMO

DUMB QUESTION

If the dossier was used to gain FISA warrants to conduct illegal surveillance on the Trump team, why did Congress just vote to extend and expand the FISA system? 

NAILED IT

Someone called Chuck Schumer a jackass, so he went into the bedroom to kneel and bray.  

THE GREAT ESCAPE?

Andrew McCabe retires, and gets away with everything, only to disappear into oblivion?  

Same old Washington horseshit. 

TONIGHT'S SPEECH

Should be called the "State of the Disunion."  
 

IMPEACH GINSBERG

Supreme Court Justice Ginsberg has announced she will not attend Trump's State of the Union address.  I thought Supreme Court Justices were required to be totally unbiased and apolitical?  

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES

One day, the FBI says they can't find five months worth of Strzok - Page text messages.  Uproar ensues.  The next day, the FBI says Samsung is to blame.  More uproar ensues.  The next day, the FBI says text messages were lost on thousands of phones.  Uproar ensues and Congress starts an investigation.  The very next day, the FBI "finds" the text messages.  

Gosh.  Gee whillikers.   

 I think I'd be damned embarrassed to be an FBI agent. 

CONTEMPLATION AND WIT #10: SPEAK UP

Listening to a politician make a speech is somewhat akin to sitting on a commode without toilet paper.  
 

LET THE BUGLES BLOW

And let the purges begin.  

MURDER ,MYSTERY

Who killed Uncle Sam?  

THE SHUTDOWN: IRONY 101

The only ones complaining about the government shutdown are the Democrats... and they're the ones who started it all.  

CONTEMPLATION AND WIT #9: A BAD DAY

The worst possible day in life would be to have a bottle full of fine wine and no corkscrew.  

CONTEMPLATION AND WIT #8: THE END IS NOWHERE IN SIGHT

You'll know the end is coming when a politician tells the truth.  

CONTEMPLATION AND WIT #7: WASHINGTON STENCH

Wake up and smell the skunks.  

CONTEMPLATION AND WIT #6: QUACK, QUACK

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it could be Donald Trump.

SO TRUMP SAID ALL OF THOSE NASTY THINGS?

I'll be damned.  Regardless of what the Democrats would have you believe, he's human after all.  

CONTEMPLATION AND WIT #5: CLUCK CLUCK

·         Ducks quack and chickens cluck, but politicians shuck and duck.  

CONTEMPLATION AND WIT #4: COCKROACHES

It appears that all of the country's cockroaches have moved to Washington, DC.  

CONTEMPLATION AND WIT #3: BEER AND SEX

·  An ice cold beer in a frosted glass is better than a stiff dick any day, because the beer will last longer. 

 

CONTEMPLATION AND WIT #2: THE REAL ANSWER TO WHO WE ARE

We are all just figments of our own imaginations.  We exist only because we think we do.  

CONTEMPLATION AND WIT #1: POLITICS AND CITIZENSHIP

Does the dog have the flea, or does the flea have the dog?

STEVE BANNON'S NEW BOOK

HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE

CNN

CNN... The Cannabis News Network.  

THE ACUIAL KIM JONG UN NUCLEAR BUTTON...

Is his belly button.  Every time he touches it, the bowels of his mouth  erupt.  

THREE WORDS TO GET RID OIF YOUR CONSTIPATION

"BARACK OBAMA DAY"