AMERICAN CARNAGE

As of June 27th, 4,113 American military personnel have been killed in Iraq while fighting to keep terrorism out of the United States and to bring lasting freedom to that country.

Not to diminish that loss, it should be noted that 42,642 Americans were killed on U.S. Highways in 2006 while fighting for nothing.

Or, to look at it another way, 4,113 killed in Iraq since 2003 and well over 170,000 killed on U.S. highways in the same time. ... fighting for nothing.

The smart guy would say, "U.S. car sales are down. Let's ship a bunch of cars to the Middle East and give them to Al Queda and Hamas and let them drive themselves to death....

THEN we can bring the troops home.

CONGRESS SCORES AGAIN!!!

Congress meets the energy crisis head on, shrugs its collective shoulder, wrings it's hands in despair, breaks for vacation.

Score now Congress 114,784 American citizens 0

(My God, what a shut out! Have they no mercy? If they would just do SOMEthing about ANYthing, we could at least get ONE point on the scoreboard.....)

YOU CAN'T USE THE TOILET!

The economy is already in there!

SUPREME COURT RULING

The Supremes have ruled that we lowly beings DO have the Constitutional right to bare arms.

Thank God for that! I was afraid I was going to have to toss out all of my T-Shirts!

SIGN ON TIJUANA BILLBOARD

"WILL THE LAST MEXICAN TO CROSS THE BORDER PLEASE TURN OUT THE LIGHTS?"

BREATHLESS CIRCUS ACT!!!

Which clown is going to win? Big Bad Johnny McCain or Bummmbling Barracks Obamama?

(Yawn) And puhleeeeze..... Pass the Gray Poop On.

GOD BLESS GEORGE CARLIN

He always told it like it is and made us laugh about it when he did.

GAS, OR NO GAS: That Is The Question

Is it not ironic that the loudest critics of soaring prices at the pump are the environmentalists who say, "Don't drill?"

POLITICALLY CORRECT, AND DEAD

I heard today on the news that the main reason Israel should not attack Iran to take out their nuclear weapons facilities is that such an action could turn the Middle East into an enraged "ball of fire."

Obviously, the answer is to allow Iran to go ahead and make their nukes and to turn Israel and US into a ball of fire.

Isn't that somewhat akin to saying, "If a guy breaks into my house in the middle of the night, I'm not going to shoot at him until he rapes my wife and shoots at me?"

HOW CAN YOU TELL MC CAIN & OBAMA APART?

I recognize that you were looking for a wisecrack here but, if you will close your eyes and just listen to what they have to say, you can't tell them apart.

Neither one of them has anything to say that's worth listening to. But.... you can certainly smell it, especially if you're down wind.

WEIGHT

When a man or woman lays naked in the night, and when they pray to God for forgiveness of their sins, and when they admit their shortcomings and mistakes in life...

They weigh a helluva lot less than they will on the bathroom scales in the morning.

EENIE, MEENIE, MINEE, MO

Oops!

WILL HILLARY RUN WITH MCCAIN?

There's a rumor going around that she would be willing to switch parties and that McCain is actively considering the idea.......

NOT ALL POLITICIANS ARE CORRUPT

It's just that 98% of them give the other 2% a bad name....

WATCH OUT, BIN LADEN!!!

Bush is gonna getcha, Bush is gonna getcha.

It's almost been seven years since 9/11. Maybe he's got the seven year itch?

Can't you just hear it now? "Okay, boys. It's time to get Osama. Just remember, no tanks, no planes, no missiles, no guns.... and when you finally locate him, be nice and polite."

HOT DOGS, HAMURGERS, RIBS AND STEAKS

No tomatoes, please.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

BRITISH PRINCESS ROMPS IN THE NUDE

A drunken British Princess Eugenie frolicked and cavorted in the nude with classmates at Marlborough College the other night. Reports are they were stressed over exams and decided to "let their hair down."

Personally, I think Eugenie plans to become an American actress.

IT'S FRIDAY THE 13TH!

Watch out for black cats, broken mirrors and politicians.

WHERE'S DICK CHENEY?

I'd swear the guy has disappeared!

NOW THAT HILLARY IS OUT.....

All of the women in the country are suffering from postpartum depression.