AMERICAN CARNAGE

As of June 27th, 4,113 American military personnel have been killed in Iraq while fighting to keep terrorism out of the United States and to bring lasting freedom to that country.

Not to diminish that loss, it should be noted that 42,642 Americans were killed on U.S. Highways in 2006 while fighting for nothing.

Or, to look at it another way, 4,113 killed in Iraq since 2003 and well over 170,000 killed on U.S. highways in the same time. ... fighting for nothing.

The smart guy would say, "U.S. car sales are down. Let's ship a bunch of cars to the Middle East and give them to Al Queda and Hamas and let them drive themselves to death....

THEN we can bring the troops home.

CONGRESS SCORES AGAIN!!!

Congress meets the energy crisis head on, shrugs its collective shoulder, wrings it's hands in despair, breaks for vacation.

Score now Congress 114,784 American citizens 0

(My God, what a shut out! Have they no mercy? If they would just do SOMEthing about ANYthing, we could at least get ONE point on the scoreboard.....)

YOU CAN'T USE THE TOILET!

The economy is already in there!

SUPREME COURT RULING

The Supremes have ruled that we lowly beings DO have the Constitutional right to bare arms.

Thank God for that! I was afraid I was going to have to toss out all of my T-Shirts!

SIGN ON TIJUANA BILLBOARD

"WILL THE LAST MEXICAN TO CROSS THE BORDER PLEASE TURN OUT THE LIGHTS?"

BREATHLESS CIRCUS ACT!!!

Which clown is going to win? Big Bad Johnny McCain or Bummmbling Barracks Obamama?

(Yawn) And puhleeeeze..... Pass the Gray Poop On.

GOD BLESS GEORGE CARLIN

He always told it like it is and made us laugh about it when he did.

GAS, OR NO GAS: That Is The Question

Is it not ironic that the loudest critics of soaring prices at the pump are the environmentalists who say, "Don't drill?"

POLITICALLY CORRECT, AND DEAD

I heard today on the news that the main reason Israel should not attack Iran to take out their nuclear weapons facilities is that such an action could turn the Middle East into an enraged "ball of fire."

Obviously, the answer is to allow Iran to go ahead and make their nukes and to turn Israel and US into a ball of fire.

Isn't that somewhat akin to saying, "If a guy breaks into my house in the middle of the night, I'm not going to shoot at him until he rapes my wife and shoots at me?"

HOW CAN YOU TELL MC CAIN & OBAMA APART?

I recognize that you were looking for a wisecrack here but, if you will close your eyes and just listen to what they have to say, you can't tell them apart.

Neither one of them has anything to say that's worth listening to. But.... you can certainly smell it, especially if you're down wind.

WEIGHT

When a man or woman lays naked in the night, and when they pray to God for forgiveness of their sins, and when they admit their shortcomings and mistakes in life...

They weigh a helluva lot less than they will on the bathroom scales in the morning.

EENIE, MEENIE, MINEE, MO

Oops!

WILL HILLARY RUN WITH MCCAIN?

There's a rumor going around that she would be willing to switch parties and that McCain is actively considering the idea.......

NOT ALL POLITICIANS ARE CORRUPT

It's just that 98% of them give the other 2% a bad name....

WATCH OUT, BIN LADEN!!!

Bush is gonna getcha, Bush is gonna getcha.

It's almost been seven years since 9/11. Maybe he's got the seven year itch?

Can't you just hear it now? "Okay, boys. It's time to get Osama. Just remember, no tanks, no planes, no missiles, no guns.... and when you finally locate him, be nice and polite."

HOT DOGS, HAMURGERS, RIBS AND STEAKS

No tomatoes, please.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

BRITISH PRINCESS ROMPS IN THE NUDE

A drunken British Princess Eugenie frolicked and cavorted in the nude with classmates at Marlborough College the other night. Reports are they were stressed over exams and decided to "let their hair down."

Personally, I think Eugenie plans to become an American actress.

IT'S FRIDAY THE 13TH!

Watch out for black cats, broken mirrors and politicians.

WHERE'S DICK CHENEY?

I'd swear the guy has disappeared!

NOW THAT HILLARY IS OUT.....

All of the women in the country are suffering from postpartum depression.

WHERE HAS ALL THE WATER GONE?

Got up this morning and the pool was totally empty, except for the SHAM WOW at the bottom.

NEW SIGN POSTED OUTSIDE POLLING PLACES

Look alive!

PRAYER CAN BE BENEFICIAL TO YOUR HEALTH

That's what the docs are saying. There must be some truth to it. Every time I go to see a doctor, I pray.

HILLARY, EXIT STAGE LEFT

For now.

WHY HILLARY SHOULD BE VP

Remember the old saying.... The Vice President is in charge of vice?

You know, like... Whitewater, Rose Law Firm books, FBI files, Travelgate..........

BRAND NEW DEMO CAMPAIGN BUTTON

OBAMA AND BIG MAMA
WILL GET OSAMA AND HIS LLAMA!

FINALLY, THE PRESIDENTIAL BATTLE IS JOINED

But not at the hips.

AH, THE SMELL OF FRESH SPRING AIR IN AN ELECTION YEAR!

Kinda' reminds you of driving by a sewer plant with your windows down, doesn't it?

GOING AROUND THE INTERNET - ON BECOMING ILLEGAL

FORMS ARE GOING FAST- SIGN UP TODAY!

Becoming Illegal (Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator)

The Honorable Tom Harkin

731 Hart Senate Office Building

Phone (202) 224 3254

Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,

Burlington , IA

Get your Forms (NOW)!! Call your Internal Revenue Service 1-800-289-1040.

IS WRIGHT RIGHT?

Has Obama forsaken his religion for political reasons?

IS SESAME STREET REALLY GONE FOREVER?

Have you noticed that Hillary no longer wears her Big Bird outfit?