PYRAMID MYSTERY SOLVED

For centuries mankind has been trying to figure out how the great pyramids in Egypt were built, what with having to move all of those giant stones up to the very pinnacles of the structures.  Researchers have now determined that they were actually built from the top down.  

MINNESOTA IS FULL OF REAL WINNERS

Republican Daniella Stella from Minnesota was planning on running against Ilhan Omar in 2020, but... Daniella has just been charged with felony shoplifting.
 

HOP TO IT

Things are hopping right along in Vegas after hordes of grasshoppers arrived for a gambling junket.  

MUELLER HEARINGS PROVE BEYOND A DOUBT...

Democrats are ignorant.  

IT'S ABOUT TIME

The Justice Department has announced it has launched investigations into "big tech" companies to see if they have stifled competition, hurt consumers or monopolized segments of the tech industry.  Silicon Valley is hoping the investigations will be over in just a "nanosecond."  

SPARTACUS BOOKER PROVES HE'S MANLY

Unable to win a verbal debate with the President, Cory Booker now says he wants to punch Trump.  What a man.  What a real man! 

AOC

Should lay off the LSD.  
 

ILHAN OMAR IS AN ILLEGAL ALIEN?

It certainly appears that she got here under fraudulent circumstances.  Word is that she is not even an Omar... So, how can she be elected to Congress?  

UNDER SIEGE

The Democrat Party seems to be under siege by enemies of the United States.  The Mad Dogs rule.  

One day, a long, long, long time ago... America didn't tolerate this bullshit. 

WHO ARE THEY?

Would someone please post the names of the 95 Members of the House who voted to impeach President Trump? Or, do they wish not to be identified?  

THE MAD DOG SQUAD

The four radicals members of the Mad Dog Squad surely have their panties in an uproar these days.   Where's Jack Nicholson to tell them they can't handle the truth?  

NOTRE DAME CATHEDRAL

They say it will take 75 to 100 years to fully restore the Notre Dame Cathedral.  Joe Biden will probably be there for the dedication.  
 

CAT FIGHT AT THE O.K. CORRAL

I have absolutely no empathy for Nancy Pelosi and her fight against those fascist libs in the House.  She created that mess. 

NEW SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE: WHO REALLY BUILT THE PYRAMIDS?

Word came out last weekend that scientists have determined the ancient pyramids of Egypt were actually built by Bernie Sanders and Joe Biden.  

ROSS PEROT

 An astute businessman whose presidency could have saved us from the mess we're in.  

BLOW JOB

Those Democrats sure are well-practiced at blowing smoke, aren't they?  

HOW DARE THEY?!!

Congress has the lowest approval rating in decades.  Neither party has done a damned thing for this country since before Obama.  They are despicable and despised.  

How DARE they demand a raise!!!

MISS INDEPENDENCE DAY 2019

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY

AOC

Should hop on a plane and go run Venezuela.  

THEY SHOULD SECEDE FROM THE UNION

The town of Statesville, North Carolina is suing an RV dealership there that flies a huge American flag.  The city says it has an ordinance against large flags and that... it's annoying.  

How nice.  

DEMOCRAT CANDIDATES: VOICES FROM PURGATORY #1

All Democrat presidential candidates say they'll give illegals free health care.  But if you, as a citizen, don't have insurance and refuse to buy it, you're either going to jail, pay a hefty fine, or both.