SHOCKING! JUST PLAIN SHOCKING!

New York City Mayor, upon being told that some prisoners he ordered released due to the Chinese Virus had immediately committed more crimes, says he's "shocked!" 

"It's unconscionable!"
 

MICROSOFT NEEDS TO DIE

Microsoft needs to be put out of business.  

Windows 10 and its constant, worthless updates is the worst piece of trash to be foisted upon an unsuspecting public since Nancy Pelosi was born.  
 

HAROLD REID

He made the State Brothers what they were.  

JOE BIDEN SAYS TRUMP WILL DELAY NOVEMBER ELECTIONS

Good ol' Joe forgets that Trump doesn't think like a Democrat! 

CALIFORNIA: LEAVING THE LIGHTS ON

California has secured 15,000 rooms from Motel 6 to house the homeless.  I wonder whether not if you're both homeless and an illegal alien, can you get two rooms? 

L.A. UNEMPLOYMENT

They are saying that, due to the Chinese Virus, 50% of the workers there are unemployed.  I don't know what the issue is... isn't that percentage down from what it was before Chinese Virus came to town?  

PELOSI REMINDS ME OF...

A magpie in heat." 

THANKS

Thank God for Donald Trump.

Thank Satan for Nancy Pelosi.  

PELOSI GRADES TRUMP AN "F"

I grade Pelosi an FY.  

THE COPS MEAN BUSINESS

They don't care if you are speeding, driving drunk, not wearing a seat belt, just robbed a bank and murdered your brother... but, if you're violating the stay-at-home orders, you're going to the slammer for a very long time.  

BARACK'S BELATED ENDORSEMENT

I understand Joe was going to thank Barack for his endorsement, but he can't remember who Barack is?  

WHY IS IT?

Pot stores are "essential" and therefore exempt from closure, while liquor stores are not? 

JESUS WAS PLANNING ON RETURNING TO EARTH, BUT...

All of the airline flights have been cancelled. 

IN THIS TIME OF NEED...

I would like to know if there is any way I can name myself as beneficiary on my life insurance policies and take the money with me? 

WHO WAS...

That masked man, Kemo Sabe?  

REWRITE OF AN OLD SONG

"BYE, BYE BERNIE"

ONE GOOD THING ABOUT CORONAVIRUS

Nobody's talking about Pocahontas anymore...

WHO IN THE HELL IS JOE BIDEN?

DE BLASIO SCREWS UP... AGAIN!

The U.S.S. Comfort, new docked in New York, was meant to take non-Covid-19 patients so that hospitals could concentrate on care for those sick with the virus.  Of course, the first patients taken to the ship were suffering from Coronavirus.  

How's DeBlasio going to blame that on Trump? 

THE GRAND CANYON HAS CLOSED

That's right... Nancy Pelosi is going to keep her mouth shut...

SURE FIRE NEW BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY

I sure would like to be in the divorce attorney business after this "shelter-in-place" stuff is over with...

TODAY

Today is April Fools Day... which means that Joe Biden is another year older.