TIME TO DANCE

CHRISTMAS QUESTION

Is Santa Claus a Democrat or a Republican?  

See you January 2nd. 

OF COURSE THE GRINCH EXISTS!

HE'S THE SENATE MAJORITY LEADER!

SCROOGE WINS

The border wall is now a dead issue.  

Interest rate hikes.

Market tanks.  

Clinton skates. 

The spirit of Christmas has been decimated.  

IRAN

If they didn't have missiles and they didn't have nukes, they wouldn't be Iran.  

COMEY HEARINGS

So much drama, so little substance.  

BABY, IT'S COLD OUTSIDE

Just sayin'...
 

FLEAS

I wonder how many fleas are going to watch the Academy Awards?  

FY

The California Public Utilities Commission  is about to vote on a proposal to start taxing text messages.  I wonder how much it will cost me to send them a simple, but to the point "FY?"

ADAM SCHIFF IS MIFFED

He didn't make TIME Magazine's list of top ten finalists for its "Person of the Year" Award.  
 

MOVE THE NATION'S CAPITOL?

The way things are going at our southern border and with the Dems and liberals in our country... why don't we just give in and move our nation's capitol to Mexico City?  

POLITICAL QUESTION

If Pocahontas runs for President and wins, will she wear feathers in her hair for her inauguration?  

WHI'S DUMBER?

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez or the people who elected her? 

COZY AS BUGS IN A RUG

There they were, all so chatty and comfortable... Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, Barack Obama and their wives... sitting in the same pew at Washington National Cathedral for George H.W. Bush's funeral... pretty as a picture.  

Then along came Donald Trump and wife Melania and... suddenly the chatter stopped.  Now, I've seen Michelle with a sour puss that would stop a Mack Truck, but what I saw Wednesday would have flash-frozen a 35 pound turkey.  Hillary... well, she was all eyes... straight forward and glowering.  I think she even tried to get up and and leave but... she's so full of shit, she couldn't move. 

As for Jimmy and Rosalyn, and Donald and Melania... they were at opposite ends of the pew, or I think they might have spoken a few civil words to each other and even managed a smile.  

AMERICAN AIRLINES DOES IT... AGAIN

A 67-year-old lady, (not from Pasadena), has trouble communicating and walking due to Parkinson’s and diabetes, and she uses a wheelchair. Her son took his mother up to her flight gate and spoke to the agent there to confirm his mom would be well taken care of.  After she was loaded onto the plane, however, officials cancelled the flight from Chicago O’Hare International Airport to Detroit and, to make a long story short, they all went home... except for Olimpia Warsaw, who was treated to the pleasure and delight of spending the night in the aircraft alone... and in the freezing cold.  

I think they didn't even left her any pretzels. 

BUSH: WHAT A TURN-AROUND

Former President George H.W. Bush died and everything changed.  Suddenly, all of the press, media and Democrats who called him a rotten bastard for years started telling us what a great guy he was.  

WHY NOT IMPEACH MUELLER?

Just askin'   

WHY OBEY OUR LAWS?

Since illegals have broken the law by crossing the border and could go to jail or be deported if caught... just what incentive do they have to obey any of our other laws?  

LET'S FACE IT: WE HAVE A ONE PARTY POLITICAL SYSTEM

And it's not the Grand Old Party.  Exit stage left. 

 

DO HOOKERS HAVE WORMS?

The hookworm, a life-threatening parasite, is found in raw sewage and was thought to be eradicated from the United States.  It has recently resurfaced in Alabama, where residents and hookers are growing increasingly fearful.    

BIG NEWS

Rumor has it that Victoria might tell her secret this week. 

BFD

The big headline last Wednesday was that the Republicans want answers on the probe into the Clinton Foundation.  That's the same question they've been asking since the day after Trump was inaugurated.  After almost two years, that's what the Republicans have accomplished on the Clinton investigations and the corruption within the DOJ, FBI and DOS...  nothing, zero, zip. 

ADAM SCHIFF NOW HAS HIS OWN NATIONAL HOLIDAY

GIVE A PRECIOUS GIFT

Will someone please send 500 bags of turkey shit to Jim Acosta for Thanksgiving?  

GOVERNMENT MAY USE NUKES

California does it again.  Newly-elected U.S. Representative Eric Swalwell, a Democrat, has defended a proposed national mandatory buyback of so-called "assault" rifles, saying that if gun owners don't like it, the government has nukes.  It's ignorant bastards like him who make us gun owners cling on to our guns and our Bibles. 

ROY CLARK

A terrific all-around entertainer has passed.  Hee haw!

WHERE'S MISS MANNERS WHEN YOU NEED HER?

Jim Acosta needs to be taught a whole gamut of manners, but he unfortunately does not work for a news organization that has any of its own.  

SHE'S BAAAACK!

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A CITIZEN TO VOTE

That's what Democrat lawyers are saying in Florida.  American veterans gave their lives to guarantee the rights of the rest of the world to run our country?  And a happy Veterans's Day to you too, my friend.  

 

NOW THAT THE DEMOCRATS HAVE HAD THEIR BIG VICTORY...

Maybe they'll finally sit down and shut up? 

I'M JUST SO EXCITED...

Nancy Pelosi is going to be Speaker of the House again?  That's just such great news!  I won't have to use any Ex-Lax for at least two more years...

HERE WE GO AGAIN...

I wonder how many months it will take this time to get all of the Democrat Party campaign signs removed.  

TODAY'S THE DAY

IF YOU DON'T AGREE WITH ME, THEN GET OUT!

“If you support the other candidates, then you should go support the other candidates. Don't be here. One of the things I never understood was why if you're supporting the other guy, you come to my rally. Go to their rally.” 

HILLARY SEZ

Hillary said the other day that all Blacks look alike.  Good luck in 2020, Hillary.  

WILLE MCCOVEY

Baseball will never be the same.  

 

IS IT POSSIBLE?

Is it possible that we'll wake up a week from today and discover that the Democrat Party no longer exists?  

You really need to vote. 

HYPOTHETICAL

Instead of asking all Hispanics to learn English, why don't we require all American citizens to learn Spanish?  

Just askin'....
 

AMERICANISM 101

Since they won't make it to the border in time for our November 6th elections, is it not incumbent upon us to send down a delegation to meet them in Mexico, register them and get their votes?  

KAMALA OPENS UP

Let the illegals in and register them to vote, open the borders, dismantle ICE, shut down the Border Patrol... Aren't the Democrats great?  

TRUMP WANTS NATIONAL UNITY?

Schumer and Pelosi respond: Up yours.  

What a wonderful party!

ABOUT THESE BOMBS

Wouldn't be something if these would be "bombs" were actually manufsactured by the Dems and sent to themselves, trying to create a sympathy vote? 

SPARTACUS TO THE RESCUE?

Will Spartacus Booker come racing to the border in his chariot to save and protect the illegals?  

JIM ACOSTA

Should be barred from the White House Press Corp.  

I'D LIKE TO MEET SOMEONE WHO MEANS WHAT HE SAYS

Two years ago, the Republicans promised us that if we got behind them and contributed to their campaigns, they'd get behind Trump and build the damned wall.  They haven't allocated  one damned dime toward the wall, even when raping us with those huge spending bills.  They're now saying they need our support and contributions and they'll get behind Trump and build the wall? 

Yes, I'm voting straight Republican ticket because the Dems have become what they are, but why should I contribute to the Republicans when they don't keep their word?  

THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT ISSUE FOR DEMOCRATS IS...

Defending Elizabeth Warren's right to call herself a genuine, down home Native American Indian. 

PAUL ALLEN

Co-Founder of Microsoft, Paul Allen also funded SETI.  Maybe he'll send back some answers?  

THE DEMOCRAT MOB

The Democrat Mob makes the Chicago Mob and the New York Mob look like kindergarten kids.  

CALLING ALL WOMEN AND BLACKS

Aren't you sick and tired of hearing the Democrats tell you that you have no minds of your own or that that you're just plain dumb?  

THE NUCLEAR REGULATORY COMMISSION NEEDS TO INVESTIGATE...

Ongoing fusion within the Democrat Patty.  

BUSH-WHACKED IN TEXAS

Jeb Bush was not invited to niece Barbara Bush's wedding.  

WHY WE HAVE GUNS

Has it occurred to you that the only reason the Dems and the left have not already seized control of this country is that we still have guns?  

THE NEW WITCH

Senator Susan Collins has been anointed by the Democrats as their newest pariah.  

See what the villains do to anybody and everybody who does not comply with their demands and commands?  

IT'S INTERESTING TO NOTE...

That the Democrats, who should be hanging their heads in utter shame, are actually planing more malevolent activities against America.  

ARE WE READY FOR ANOTHER BENGHAZI MOMENT?

Susan Rice says she's going to run against Susan Collins is 2020.  I wonder how she's going to lie her way through this one? 

MY GIFT TO THE SENATE DEMOCRATS

Six truckloads of Pampers and baby bottles. 

NOW THAT MELANIA IS OUT OF TOWN...

I suppose Chuckie Schumer will be watching the back door at the White House to see if the Secret Service sneaks in Stormy Daniels for a visit?  

Chuckie is such a sleaze bag.  
 

GET A WAFT OF THIS

I have come to recognize that the smell of a gathering of Democrats is far worse than the small of an open sewer.  

WANT MORE OF THE SAME, WORN-OUT CRAP?

Vote for a Democrat.  

ABOUT THE EVIDENCE

You had mountains of evidence against Bill Clinton, from stained evidence, to used cigars, to testimony from White House staff, to several credible accusations by different women of outright rape.  What have they got in the way of evidence against Brett Kavanaugh?

The alleged attack by Kavanaugh occurred 36 years ago; the Lewinsky affair took place only 24 years ago.  

And they have the gall to say the system of justice in this country is fair?  

WHY NOT HAVE ROD ROSENSTEIN OR JOHN BRENNAN INVESTIGATE KAVANAUGH?

They are just as non-partisan and trustworthy as the FBI!

THEATRE

The Senate Hearing Room yesterday was much ado about nothing.  Not a damned thing that was said in that hearing changed any votes; everybody had their minds made up two months ago.  

JUSTICE CLARENCE THOMAS MUST RESIGN

That's according to Mia Farrow.  

SLEAZE BALL

A Democrat.  Any Democrat.  Also known as slime ball. 

DALLAS COWBOYS FOR SALE?

Rumor has it you can buy the Dallas Cowboys for $100.  After all, they are ranked as the most valuable NFL franchise...

MODERN DAY COSA NOSTRA

The I.R.S., F.B.I. and D.O.J.  

IT'LL BE A COLD DAY IN HELL...

It'll be a cold day in hell before I believe a woman who cries rape 36 years after the supposed event, with no witnesses and constantly changing stories, and when she's had multiple opportunities to do so before. 

OBAMA AND CLINTON COULD FINALLY BE IN DEEP, DEEP TROUBLE

The I.R.S. is going to crack down on people who use offshore accounts in order to avoid taxes, penalties and jail time.  

NO COINCIDENCE

The number of views of college football games in increasing, while the number of NFL viewers is decreasing. 

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A LEFT-WING SOCIALIST AND A DEMOCRAT?

SCHUMER, FEINSTEIN AND BOOKER

The Senate's most reliable pariahs.  

LIBERALS JUST CAN'T DO ANYTHING CORRECT

A college professor in Las Vegas evidently intended to commit suicide, because he hates Trump.  So, he shot himself.  Somehow, he missed, and only wounded his arm.  But, he was nice enough to leave a $100 bill taped to the restroom mirror for the janitor.  

FOR SALE

Slightly used Nike tennis shoes.  Some burn marks, smell a little like lighter fluid.  Size 10, wide.  $2.00.  (503) 671-6453.  

HOLD IT!

That's what passengers on an American  Airlines flight were told the other day when all lavatories went on the fritz.  The plane was flying from Phoenix to... Hawaii.  That must have been a real non-pisser. 

BENGHAZI NEVER HAPPENED

So saith the Lord Majesty, Barack Hussein Obama.  

It was all a figment of our imaginations.  

SORRY, SALLY

Burt Reynolds has left the stage.  

JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME... ALMOST

Just a couple of weeks after the horrific Carr Fire in and near Redding, California... The National Park Service is about to award a grant for treating fuels in the forest of Whiskeytown National Park... which was burned up in the fire.  

PEOPLE MAY HAVE THE RIGHT TO PROTEST

But, they have NO night to be unruly. 

SEX

If you want your kids to learn about sex, take them to the bishop.  

DIGNITY

Judge Jeanine says Sessions needs to step aside; where's his dignity?  Show me an anti-Trump closet establishment RINO who has dignity and I'll show you the end of the rainbow. 

OFF

HAPPY LABOR DAY

SHELL GAME

PETA wants to build a monument in Maine to honor dead lobsters. 

HAVING A MOVEMENT

If the Democrats move any farther to the left, they're going to fall off the edge of the earth.

HERE WE GO AGAIN WITH THE GUNS

David Katz, the shooter in Jacksonville, Florida, had s history of mental problems.  Yet, he was able to purchase guns not long before the video game shootings.  But, somehow, I'm to blame.  

JOHN MCCAIN

I will be the last person on the face of the earth to lionize John McCain.  That said, let him rest in peace. 

THE LATEST TO QUALIFY FOR THE KATHY GRIFFIN FAN CLUB

Ralph Peters.  

DEMOCRATS ARE EVIL INCARNATE

If you remember correctly, the Democrats didn't care about Kate Steinle and they actively and vocally defended the killer, Jose Zarate.  They don't give a damn about Mollie Tibbetts, either. 

STILL WANT OPEN BORDERS?

May your daughter be the next to be raped and murdered by an illegal.

HOW MUELLER CAN GET TRUMP

He can charge Trump with using a plastic straw...

AFTER THE DEMOCRATS ABOLISH ICE...

Will cops be next? 



 

PROUD, UPSTANDING AMERICAN JOHN BRENNAN... SECOND ONLY TO

DON'T PICK ON NANCY PELOSI

She's justifiably always been the first one to claim credit for leading the Democrat party to where it is today.  

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE

Between CNN and Al Jazeera? 

CNN hasn't run out of money yet.  

OMAROSA QUALIFIES

To be a member of the Kathy Griffin Fan Club.  

EVERY DAY ROBERT MUELLER STICKS AROUND...

He proves more and more what dirt bags he and his Democrat shyster stooges really are. 

SINCE BERNIE COULDN'T WIN THE PRESIDENCY IN 2016...

... Maybe he should run for Vice-President in 2020?  

ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ IS SO DUMB...

She joined the anti-ICE bandwagon by throwing out her freezer. 

98.63% OF "JOURNALISTS"...

Give the other 1.37% a bad name.  

IT'S ALL ABOUT FREEDOM OF SPEECH

The left-wing liberals, Dems and media all have the right to say what they want, and the rest of the country has every right to criticize them and call them down for it. 

BE LIKE CHICAGO

Get guns off the streets.  

I HAVEN'T DECIDED WHO'S WORSE...

George Soros or the Koch brothers. 

INTELLIGENCE?

Every day that goes by proves more and more that there is no intelligence in our intelligence operations.  

3-D GUNS

Of course you should be able to make 3-D guns.  Same with 3-D bombs, 3-D tanks, 3-D howitzers and 3-D Democrats.  

 

MAXINE...

Is no comic strip.  

THE END OF THE WORLD IS COMING! THE END OF THE WORLD IS COMING!

President Trump is now saying he'll be happy to talk with Iran's Ayatollah Ali Khamenei.  First it was Kim Jong Un, then Putin and now this guy.  What are we to do?  

Oh.. I know!  Well ask Maxine Waters.  She's on a first-name basis with God.  

WHO'S GOING TO HELP HILLARY IN 2020?

With Obama, Lynch, Comey, Clapper, Brennan, Page and Strzok out of the picture... I guess she'll just have to rely on Rosenstein, Wray and Sessions.  

THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS CORPS...

Has now taken charge of the White House.  They have sent firm notice that Trump now reports to them.  

DON'T TELL ANYBODY, BUT...

Back in 1963, when Donald Trump was attending New York Military Academy, he was a ladies man. 

He must be impeached!  

THE NEXT NEW FACE OF THE DEMOCRAT PARTY?

HOW COULD TORONTO HAPPEN?

I don't understand how there could be a shooting in Toronto.  I thought they had very strict gun control laws up there.  

Oh well, blame the NRA. 

FIRE WHOOPI GOLDBERG

What an undignified, horrific meltdown!  

The same network fired Roseanne Barr, didn't they?  

Well?  

GETTING EVEN WITH TRUMP

This is how all Democrats think: "I don't like the way Trump handled Putin, so I'm going to yank the liquor license at his Washington D.C. hotel."  

 

WHOOPI GOLDBERG

Black trash. 

DEMOCRAT PARTY CHANGING IT'S NAME

It shall henceforth be known at the Left-Wing Democrat Socialist Party of the American Union.  

CONGRESSIONAL STAR CUTS NEW ALBUM

"Lisa Page Sings."

ROB REINER IS IN SHOCK AND AWE

The outrageous, outspoken Never Trumper had his latest movie totally bomb over the weekend... only grossing $41,000.  

Awe, shucks. 

ALFRED E. ROSENSTEIN

TOP REASONS NOT TO APPROVE KAVANAUGH

His dog once had ticks.  
His wife has never had an abortion.  
His daughters are not illegal aliens.  
He believes in God. 
He's not a racist.
He loved his mother.
He supports the Constitution. 
He once ate at Chic-fil- A.
He's too young. 
He's too old.
He doesn't know how to frown.  
His first name is Brett.  
His middle name is Michael. 

TO THE DEMOCRATS AND THEIR SOCIALIST FRIENDS

THIS IS AMERICA

LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT

 

MAXINE WATERS IS LIVING PROOF...

That lobotomies work.  

DON'T ABOLISH ICE

Abolish the FBI instead. 

IT'S A GOOD THING UNEMPLOYMENT RATES ARE SO LOW...

Scott Pruitt is looking for a job. 

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY

POMPOUS LITTLE JERK

Rod Rosenstein

THE HUGE MASQUERADE

Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell are masquerading as Republicans again.

DISCRIMINATION 101

You can't be denied service in a restaurant if you're Black, a lesbian, a transgender, a Catholic, an old fart, disabled or due to individual political opinions.  But. you can be denied service if you work in the White House. 

"FREEDOM" OF SPEECH

You're free to say anything you want... unless you're a conservative.  

"IT'S YOUR LAST CHANCE"

I keep getting these nasty emails from the Trump people, and they all say, "It's your last chance." 

I'm certain they're intended for Chuck Schumer, Nancy Pelosi, Mitch McConnell or Paul Ryan...

 

RICHARD HARRISON

Goodbye, Old Man.  

THE BIG BAD WOLVES

With all of the huffing, puffing, grandstanding, posturing and bellyaching coming out of Congressional hearings into the I.G. Report, what makes you think they're going to do anything?  For one thing, they haven't done a damned thing about these issues for 18 months; for another, neither Paul Ryan or Mitch McConnell will let them do anything about it... 

CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER

His passing deeply saddens anybody and everybody who ever stopped to listen to what he had to say.  He was a fine man and we were truly blessed to have him in our midst.  

IS TODAY THE DAY?

Will this be the day that Paul Ryan shoves "his" version of a new immigration bill down the throats of the House?  It's the bill that he's been keeping top secret, like he did with the last budget and like Pelosi did with ObamaCare.  I guess, if we don't like it, that's TS.  

HOW TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT KIDS

Build the damned wall!

WHITE HOUSE MAID TO RESIGN?

First, it was was said by the liberal fake news that Melania was separating from Trump.  When that story got no traction, the story came out that John Kelly couldn't stand being in the "dysfunctional" White House any longer and was resigning.  When that story got no traction, the story changed to Sarah Sanders turning in her resignation.  So, who's next on their fake target list... the White House maid? 

I CAN NO LONGER BE POLITE...

Kathy Griffin is a bitch.  

EINSTEIN WAS RACIST?

They've discovered from his diaries that Einstein was racist.  They need to dig him up and burn him at the stake.  

HEAR ALL THAT WHINING COMING FROM THE SEATTLE CITY COUNCIL?

Seattle City Council is so, so dismayed and distraught that Amazon, Starbucks and others are balking at their newly-enacted $275 per-head employee tax.  

NEVER TRUMPERS IN FULL MELTDOWN

Trump makes historic progress with North Korea.  

MY HAT IS OFF TO...

Charles Krauthammer... a true gentleman, a brilliant analyst, and a man of great courage and perseverance. 

DONALD TRUMP'S NEW NICKNAME

The folks at the G-7 are now referring to him as "Fang."

MUELLER MISCHIEF COMING UP?

Will Robert Mueller's Special Counsel team release some information or take some action over the weekend or Monday to deflect from Trump's meeting with Kim Jong Un?  Naw... he would do that, would he?  I mean... not without Jeff Sessions' okay, right? 

HOT QUESTION

If the molten lava spewing out of active volcanoes continues unabated until the center of the earth has been totally emptied and the earth caves in on itself... will there still be any Democrats remaining to blame Trump?

HOW CAN IT BE?

I searched on Google to find out what the "Me Too Movement" was all about.  Up popped Bill Clinton's name.  

How can that be?  

KIM TO MEET WITH TRUMP AT WHITE HOUSE!

In fact, they're meeting tomorrow... President Trump and Kim Kardashian.  Maybe she'll give up her nukes?  

I'VE BECOME DISENCHANTED WITH TREY GOWDY

He can't even talk the talk, let alone walk the walk.  

IF YOU REALLY WANT TO TELL IT LIKE IT IS...

Try taking Ambien.

ABC'S REPLACEMENT FOR ROSEANNE

Will undoubtedly be Rosie O'Donnell, who never says anything nasty.

KILAUEA MAY ERUPT FOR A FEW WEEKS

But Hillary has been erupting ever since November of 2016.

NANCY PELOSI SPEAKS

Well, of course we want to impeach Trump and will right after we win back the majority in the House and Senate in November.  But, we're not going to make a campaign issue out of it, because it's still deep in the fog of controversy.  

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND

SEATTLE'S HOMELESS PROBLEM NOW SOLVED!

Starbucks has solved Seattle's homeless problem by allowing anyone to camp out in their stores.  

 

SPIES, SPIES EVERYWHERE

It's beginning to look as if there were more spies lurking in the Trump campaign than we could shake a stick at.  I wonder if Jeff Sessions was one of them?

MAGPIE IN HEAT

OBAMA'S MAFIA MAKES THREAT

President Trump made a demand over the weekend that the DOJ had better investigate whether or not his campaign was spied upon by the FBI, the CIA and/or the DOJ in 2016.  Shortly thereafter, John Brennan fired off a nastygram to Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan warning them that they had better reign in Trump immediately... or else.  
 

IF YOU TAKE GOD OUT OF THE COUNTRY...

Only the Democrats will be left.  

COFFEE

They say drinking coffee can protect your liver from alcohol damage, so now I add  coffee to my Irish whiskey.  

MARGOT KIDDER

Hopefully the demons that plagued her have let her go in peace.  

A GARGANTUAN AMAZON MISTAKE

Amazon.com is raising the cost of it's "Prime" membership.  Why continue to pay for it when you can get the same benefits from Walmart for free?

MEGHAN MCCAIN RANTS

Meghan McCain is upset that someone in the White House insulted her dad.  Well, Meghan, it's like this:  I'm, a red-blooded American  conservative and your dad is an asshole.  Someday, when you grow up, you will come to understand why I feel that way.  I'm sorry to put it to you this way but, one thing I am not is politically correct.

HERE'S HOPING FOR A BLUE WAVE IN NOVEMBER

A huuuge wave bye-bye, that is.  
 

GLOWERING IN WASHINGTON

Remember when Obama said, shortly before leaving the White House, the he'd be living just down the street and looking over Donald Trump's shoulder to make sure he didn't get out of line?  

DEMOCRAT POLITICALLY CORRECT SISSY PANTS

A terrorist doesn't mind hijacking a plane and flying it into a building full of unsuspecting occupants.  That terrorist takes great pleasure in slicing off your head and burning it.  But we can't spray that terrorist with a garden hose to get answers out of him, because it's not nice?   

KATHY GRIFFIN

The "lady" who held up Trump's severed head for the world to see is still arrogantly ticked off at the multitudes of people who think the act was disgusting and vile... but, she refuses to apologize for it.  

  

WAH!

 

WHERE'S LISA PAGE GOING NEXT?

CNN or MSNBC?  

THE REAL MONEY BEHIND FUSION GPS DOSSIER

HILLARY'S LATEST EXCUSE

Saying I was a capitalist hurt me!  Wahhhh! 

FACEBOOK QUESTION

So, if a conservative goes on a rant on Facebook, that's hate speech; but, if a liberal goes on a rant on Facebook, it's not?
 

NEW POLITICAL PARTY EMERGES

The Socialist Democrat Party of the Liberated Left is now signing up candidates for November elections. 

FANCY NANCY SPEAKS

She discourages any talk of impeaching Trump... until after the Democrats win back the House and Senate in November.  

Instead, I guess, she wants the Dems to work on repealing "crumbs."  

MEET MICHELLE WOLF

Newest member of Kathy Griffin Fan Club

CAN ANYONE FIGURE THIS OUT?

Why did Hillary launder her payments to Fusion GPS for the production of the "dossier" through Perkins-Coie and subsequently fail to include the payment as part of her financial reporting to the Federal Election Commission in violation of campaign finance law? 

Just curious. 

WHY MUELLER SIMPLY MUST SUCCEED

If he doesn't, Hillary won't pick him as her running mate in 2020. 

DON'T GIVE YOUR NUMBER TO THE HERITAGE FOUNDATION

The calls just keep coming, and coming and coming... all hours of the day and night.  

 

OBAMA, SOROS, RUSSIANS...

Continue to fan the flames of division within America.  

THE DEMOCRATS HAVE PROVEN THEMSELVES

To be far better more effective than Ex-Lax. 

ACTUALLY, I FEEL SORRY FOR JIM COMEY

IT'S SIMPLY NOT TRUE

McCain did not have surgery to have his mouth sewn shut. 

BARBARA BUSH

The cornerstone of the Bush empire and one of the finest First Ladies in history... I wish you well.  

ART BELL

Fittingly, he died on Friday the 13th.  
 

WORSE THAN A COBRA

LIAR, LEAKER, LAWBREAKER

James Comey

GESTAPO U.S.A.

Robert Mueller, Rod Rosenstein, Christopher Wray, Jeff Sessions

WARNING TO WOULD-BE POLITICIANS

If you are planning for running for office in thr 2018 elections, don't bother to do so if you intend to join the "establishment." 

MORPHING 101

John McCain may have been a war hero at one time, but these days he's a downright asshole. 

JEFF SESSIONS NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE ME

Instead of appointing John Huber, an Obama man, to look into FISA abuses, why didn't Sessions just go ahead and ask Loretta Lynch to do it?  

WASHINGTON ETHICS 101

The Dems are outraged that Scott Pruitt took a $50 per night room in Washington from a lobbyist, but see nothing wrong with Robert Mueller's hiring of 16 staunch Democrats to investigate a crime that doesn't exist. 

PACIFIERS AND DIAPERS URGENTLY NEEDED

It is now 18 months since Donald J. Trump was elected to the Presidency and they are STILL whining about it!

WHEN YOU PAY YOUR TAXES THIS YEAR, REMEMBER

You're paying for abortions, you're paying for ObamaCare, you're paying for sanctuary cities and you're not paying for any border wall.  

TRUMPS NEXT DEED?

After the outrageous signing of the Omnibus Bull, do we presume that Trump's next move will be to abolish the 2nd Amendment?  Just sayin'...

 

BEFORE TRUMP SHOVED IT UP OUR REARS...

He could have at least sent us some Vaseline.  

Yes, I'm still damned angry. 

AFTER WATCHING THIS OUTRAGEOUS OMNIBUS BILL PASS...

I'll even vote for Romney in 2020.  

THIS IS THE PRESIDENT WE VOTED FOR?

"It was a lousy bill, but I signed it." 

I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHY...

Why didn't Trump run as a left-wing Democrat from the beginning?  

ONE HUUUGE EASTER EGG

Trump laid one for Easter...

It's called the Omnibus Bill 

BYE, BYE REPUBLICANS

It's not even April yet, and I already know who I'm going to vote against in November.  

MAKING AMERICA CRAPPY AGAIN

Trump, McConnell and Ryan; they sold out everything we voted for in 2016.  

 

JOE BIDEN

He reminds me of a magpie that's had too much to drink.  

I JUST GOT A CALL FROM BILL CLINTON

He wants to know if I can put him in touch with Stormy Daniels.  

AUSTIN

What do you think?  Is this scum bomber:

a.  An illegal alien?

b.  A terrorist?

c.  An NRA member?  

ANDREW MCCABE

Bye, bye now you anti-American bum.  

STEPHEN HAWKINGS

Off to search for another black hole.  

I'VE GOT TRUMP ALL FIGURED OUT

There's no way you can figure him out.  

ABOUT THOSE CRUMBS

Nancy Pelosi has decided she would now like you to donate those tax reform "crumbs" to her 2018 Congressional reelection campaign...  Suddenly, those crumbs have some value. 

EXTREME SEWER EMERGENCY IN WASHINGTON DC

When news came out of the House Intelligence Committee yesterday that it found no collusion between Trump and the Russians in the 2016 campaign, Paul Ryan and his Progressive Republicans, Never Trumpers, and Democrats all headed for the commodes at the same time.  Warning: System Overload!  Warning! 

KATHY GRIFFIN'S COMEBACK

Kathy Griffin has announced she's going on tour again.  

What a doll!  

 

NO MORE BEETLE DUNG ON HIGHWAYS

Volkswagen is exterminating the Beetle.  

NCP

Nancy "Crumbs" Pelosi

JEFF SESSIONS' CHIEF ACCOMPLISHMENT IN HIS FIRST YEAR

He collected a government pay check.  

VOTE FOR DEMOCRATS: VOTE FOR SOCIALSM

WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT...

The NRA is on the American side.  

IF YOU'RE AN AMERICAN GUN OWNER...

There's never been a better time than now to join and stand with the NRA.  

MOWING THE GRASS

The only reason Nancy Pelosi wants the Border Patrol to mow the grass is that the old cow is hungry.  

BILLY GRAHAM

He can no longer pray for us; we're going to have to relearn how to do it for ourselves.  

MUELLER GUESSING GAMES

Why would you indict 13 Russians when you know none of them will ever stand trial? 

NOW WHO'S COLLUDING WITH THE RUSSIANS?

Much of the information Mueller released last Friday about the Russian efforts to influence the election was in Andrey Zakharov's 4,500-word article in a Russian business magazine four months ago.

DON'T YOU WONDER?

How many presidents are spinning in their graves when they look at this country today?  

GO FIGURE

Every kid at the Florida high school says Nikolas de Jesus Cruz, the shooter, acted crazy.  He had been expelled from the school due to his behavior.  He reportedly followed Syrian resistance groups and had researched the meaning of Allahu Akbar.  

While nobody in eight years of the Obama administration initiated any studies of the root causes of shootings, the Democrat gun-control advocates were quick to blame members of the NRA for this shooting spree. 

VIC DAMONE

One of the last of the great crooners has left the stage.  

POLITICS, LIES AND PUTRESCENCE

Synonyms. 

VIGILANTE JUSTICE

Vigilantes should be allowed to castrate and kill any SOB who shoots a cop, or any left-wing liberal who opposes the idea. 

DEAR MR. OBAMA

Your chickens are coming home to roost.  

JOHN MAHONEY

A great actor has left the stage.  

THINK HARD NOW...

When was the last time that the Democrats admitted they had done anything wrong? 

DID YOU NOTICE?

Trump wasn't touting the stock market yesterday.  

DEMOCRATS EXPLAIN AWAY THE FISA MEMO

DUMB QUESTION

If the dossier was used to gain FISA warrants to conduct illegal surveillance on the Trump team, why did Congress just vote to extend and expand the FISA system? 

NAILED IT

Someone called Chuck Schumer a jackass, so he went into the bedroom to kneel and bray.  

THE GREAT ESCAPE?

Andrew McCabe retires, and gets away with everything, only to disappear into oblivion?  

Same old Washington horseshit. 

TONIGHT'S SPEECH

Should be called the "State of the Disunion."  
 

IMPEACH GINSBERG

Supreme Court Justice Ginsberg has announced she will not attend Trump's State of the Union address.  I thought Supreme Court Justices were required to be totally unbiased and apolitical?  

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES

One day, the FBI says they can't find five months worth of Strzok - Page text messages.  Uproar ensues.  The next day, the FBI says Samsung is to blame.  More uproar ensues.  The next day, the FBI says text messages were lost on thousands of phones.  Uproar ensues and Congress starts an investigation.  The very next day, the FBI "finds" the text messages.  

Gosh.  Gee whillikers.   

 I think I'd be damned embarrassed to be an FBI agent. 

CONTEMPLATION AND WIT #10: SPEAK UP

Listening to a politician make a speech is somewhat akin to sitting on a commode without toilet paper.  
 

LET THE BUGLES BLOW

And let the purges begin.  

MURDER ,MYSTERY

Who killed Uncle Sam?  

THE SHUTDOWN: IRONY 101

The only ones complaining about the government shutdown are the Democrats... and they're the ones who started it all.  

CONTEMPLATION AND WIT #9: A BAD DAY

The worst possible day in life would be to have a bottle full of fine wine and no corkscrew.  

CONTEMPLATION AND WIT #8: THE END IS NOWHERE IN SIGHT

You'll know the end is coming when a politician tells the truth.  

CONTEMPLATION AND WIT #7: WASHINGTON STENCH

Wake up and smell the skunks.  

CONTEMPLATION AND WIT #6: QUACK, QUACK

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it could be Donald Trump.

SO TRUMP SAID ALL OF THOSE NASTY THINGS?

I'll be damned.  Regardless of what the Democrats would have you believe, he's human after all.  

CONTEMPLATION AND WIT #5: CLUCK CLUCK

·         Ducks quack and chickens cluck, but politicians shuck and duck.  

CONTEMPLATION AND WIT #4: COCKROACHES

It appears that all of the country's cockroaches have moved to Washington, DC.  

CONTEMPLATION AND WIT #3: BEER AND SEX

·  An ice cold beer in a frosted glass is better than a stiff dick any day, because the beer will last longer.