THE NEXT LOGICAL STEP...

Abort all children of conservatives. 

DEMOCRATS: ELIMINATE GOD

A bill drafted by the Democrat-controlled House Committee on Natural Resources would ask witnesses to recite only, "Do you solemnly swear or affirm, under penalty of law, that the testimony that you are about to give is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?"  The rules proposal places the words "so help you God" in red brackets, indicating they are slated to be cut.  The draft rules also remove the phrase "his or her" throughout the document, changing those two pronouns to "their." 

God has yet to respond but, then again, He does not exist. 

JOE MONTANA: GONE TO POT

Hall of Fame quarterback Joe Montana, looking to hit pay dirt in the legal marijuana industry, has chipped in as part of a $75 million investment in pot operator Caliva. 

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH PELOSI...

That five or six Ex-Lax treatments can't cure.  

DANDELIONS

Wouldn't it be something if everyone in the country sent Fancy Nancy a bouquet of dead dandelions for Valentine's Day? 

DON'T YOU WONDER WHY?

Why hasn't Nancy Pelosi declared her mansion in San Francisco to be a sanctuary mansion and invited illegals to seek refuge there? 

PICTURE OF GOD

EVEN VENEZUELA...

Doesn't want Nancy Pelosi.  

THERE ARE OVER 340 MILLION AMERICANS

And then... There's Chuck Schumer. 

SLEEPLESS IN D.C.

Rumor has it that Nancy Pelosi has been unable to sleep as she schemes on how to get revenge on President Trump's embarrassing last-minute cancellation of her junket overseas.   Insiders say she is livid.

Maybe she'll TP the White House? 

IDEA FOR PELOSI

Instead of fuming about President Trump's denial of an Air Force plane to fly her and her Congressional sweethearts on a junket to Europe during the border crisis... why doesn't she just climb on her broom?  

WELL... GOODBYE, DOLLY

Famed actress and singer Carol Channing has died at the age of 97.  

FOLLOW THE MONEY

I wonder who really paid for that chartered jet that flew those Democrats down to Puerto Rico to party hearty with lobbyists while the government was shut down?  

A REALLY SHORT STORY IN MANY WAYS

Jeff Bezos allegedly sent selfie pictures of his penis to his mistress. 

MAJOR NEWS IN DEMOCRAT PARTY!!!

Beto O'Rourke got his teeth cleaned!!!  Front page on all liberal news outlets!!!

ONE THING ABOUT NANCY...

She makes an old hag seem respectable.  

SQUAW OF MANY FEATHERS

Pocahontas Warren.  
 

OMINOUS

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has been in office for less than a week now and she's already telling Nancy Pelosi what to do.  

POCAHONTAS IS GOING TO RUN AS A REPUBLICAN?

That's what all of the other Democrats have been doing...

SECRET BORDER DEAL REACHED!

The Republicans and Democrats have reached a secret deal to build the wall along the border... over 700 miles of it.  It'll be 18 inches high, six inches thick and topped with refried beans. 

WILL THE LAST PERSON TO LEAVE THE WHITE HOUSE...

... Please turn off the lights?  

THANK GOD FOR THIS FDAY

Bye, bye Paul Ryan. 

DON'T BUILD THE BORDER WALL

Instead of building a wall along the southern border, why not build it around the Capitol?  Then, we could fill it... one bucket of cow manure at a time until they either suffocate in it or start doing their jobs, working together to build a better and stronger America.