One Thing About 2020 Is For Certain

The Nashville bomber went out with a bang!

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Mass Confusion

 Having a daughter named "Alexa." 

Pelosi & AOC Could Lose Their Seats!

That's right! So many people are clamoring to get out of California and New York that both states could lose several House seats, each! I'd actually let you buy me a beer if that happens! 

 

Make Sure Your Christmas Turkey Is Wearing His Mask!

 

Be Happy, Happy, Happy Now!

 

Have You Noticed?

How many lawmakers are rushing to get their Covid Vaccine shots before front line healthcare workers, those in nursing homes and the vulnerable? Aren't you glad you elected them? 

 

Bend Over On The Freeway

If you thought 2020 was bad, just wait until January 20th, when things really start to get bad! 

 

Fake Guns Could Net You 25 Years In Prison

A New York woman is facing weapons charges after the NYPD stormed her home and seized at least 22 guns from her apartment, 21 of which were fake and being used by rappers and actors as part of their shows.  Authorities raided her home and charged her with first-degree criminal possession of a weapon. She now faces a possible 25-year prison sentence. 

Next step in this inevitable journey is to charge you with child neglect and endangerment for allowing your 8-year-old son to possess a cap pistol.   

Fox News Is Leaving The Country

Evidently obliging to wishes of the Biden administration for a globalist nation, Fox News is expanding to 30 other countries.  Maybe Venezuela will be first? 

 

Obama's Third Term

Barack Hussein Obama admits now that Biden is becoming president, Biden will report directly to him and he'll be having his third term as president.  

Bye, Bye NYC

New York's dynamic duo Andrew Cuomo and Bill DeBlasio are warning they're about to shut New York City totally down! Even the hookers are getting nervous!

Useless As Tits On A Boar Hog

 FBI

The Question Everyone Is Afraid To Ask

Have they closed down the brothels due to Covid-19? Hunter wants to know...

 

Defund...

 Soros!

 

Chuck Yeager Leaves The World...

Up in the air!

 

Unity

The Democrats and the left are condescending, arrogant, patronizing and downright threatening toward Republicans.  But they want unity!  

California: Here We Go Again!

Newsom is getting ready to shut down California again, including bars, barbershops and salons. Nancy Pelosi is frantically calling around San Francisco looking for someplace to get her secret "do."

 

The Next Ripoff Is Already In Motion

They're going to use the same voting machines and software in the January Georgia Senate elections as they used in the presidential election? Nobody is screaming bloody murder? 

You're Safe Now

Darth Vader has died. 

 

Sadly Mistaken

Seventeen percent of Biden voters say they would have voted for Trump if they had known about the scandals involving Joe, Hunter, China and the Ukraine. 

Lesson to Democrats: Don't trust the mainstream media.  

 

Question of the Decade

Just why hasn't John Brennan been sent to Gitmo? 

Burp!

Welcome back from Thanksgiving. Waddle on over here and tell me about it! 

This Will Be A Sad Holiday For America

 

The Silence Is Ominous

The total lack of silence on the part of Republicans while President Trump battles the election debacle with little or no support, is totally ominous.  

Are they, too, in the bag for Karl Marx?

Newsom: Entitlement 101

I don't know what the problem is with Governor Newsom's attendance at a lavish birthday party in wine country while the rest of us suffer under his Covid-19 dictates.  After all, he IS a Democrat and he IS the Governor, you know! 

Besides, he always apologizes to the masses after he does these things.  

 

Massive Voter Fraud in California?

That's the allegation, be we all know that to be untrue.  After all, Governor Newsom promised the most secure election in the history of mankind, didn't he?  

 

 

This Thanksgiving

Let's give Fauci the bird.  

Chinese Cold Case Solved!

Ah Chu did it!

 

Washington Rumor Mill

I hear they're already planning on remodeling the White House basement for Joe's new living quarters...

The Dems Are Coming Afer You!

If you had a Trump sign in your yard... if you wrote a social media post backing Trump... if you had a Trump-Pence bumper sticker on your car... the Democrats are going to get you fired from your job, kicked out of your school, denied loans and credit cards, and thrown in jail for not wearing a mask! 

Oh, and by the way, let's have peace and unity!

Alex Trebec

No longer in Jeopardy.  

 

New National Mask Orders In The Works

Citing an overwhelming mandate from the American people, Joe Biden will require that all citizens wear masks 24/7 beginning January 2oth. Violators will be persecuted. Anarchists, illegals  and Antifa members will be exempt.  

Each mask will be fitted with a transmitter that will notify authorities if the mask is taken off.  

Sign Of Things To Come

Chuck Schumer vows that after the Democrats win the Georgia Senate race, they will be totally in charge of everything that goes on in America and they WILL change it. 

Republicans Claim They Can Win In 2022

 WHO CARES?

 

Republicans Failed Us Yet Again

The Republican leaders of this country once again had everything going for them. President Trump stood behind them, but they did not stand behind him.  

And once again, freedom-loving Americans will pay the penalty.  

There Isn't A Jail Big Enough In This Country

To hold all of the crooks, fraudsters and corrupt election officials!

I'd Be Willing To Bet

That not one of those dens of iniquity where they're still doing the vote counting has cameras in it.  

And Now It Begins

 The 2024 Election Season!

Hopefully, Twitter Has Had It's Last Tweet!

 They deserve it. 

My Message To The Country

Anyone who doesn't vote is not truly an American!

Rumor About Hunter Biden

The story floating around the Beltway is that Hunter Biden has been hired to count the votes in Pennsylvania! 

Is Uncle Joe Preparing To Bow Out?

Pull The Plug On Corruption!

 

Vote For Trump-Pence!

Come Dance With Me

Biden never did answer about his and Hunter's graft and corruption involving "pay to play" schemes at America's expense.  While he did say he never took a dime from a foreign country, he didn't deny the existence of Hunter's laptop or of its contents, and he did not say that he never took a dime from Hunter or one of Hunter's "companies" which were acting as a funnel for the money from Ukraine and China.  

Biden Wasn't Looking At His Watch!

 He was checking his health monitor to see if he was still alive!

How To Get On My Bad Side

 Don't Vote

 

What They WON'T Ask BIden Tonight!

Biden will not be asked about Emails, Ukraine, China, Russia or Hunter.  

Speaking Of Hunter Biden...

Where IS the little bastard?  

Kamala Reminds Me Of...

 Imelda Marcos!

Xi Jinping Biden?

This is China, Inc.’: Emails Reveal Hunter Biden’s Associates Helped Communist-Aligned Chinese Elites Secure White House Meetings. 

As a matter of interest, what favors do you think China will demand from Biden if he wins the presidency?  

Biden Needs To Stay In His Basement

Even Ronny Jackson, Obama's former White House doctor, says he has observed Biden on the campaign trail and has concluded that Uncle Joe no longer has the mental capacity to be president.  As a matter of fact, even the groundhogs in Joe's neighborhood have moved out...

Be Careful What You Say About AOC!

 She just might put a hex on you!

President Kamalala Harris? Really?

 

Whitey Ford

 He never pitched BLM!

Eddie Van Halen

 His music will be missed. 

It Took Time For Democrats To Evolve

 Meanness doesn't just happen overnight! 

Biden Draws Huge Crowd!

 Joe Biden, campaigning in Florida, drew huge crowds... of flies the other day!

Biden or Bidet?

B = Biggest

I = Idiot

D = Democrats

E = Ever

N = Nominated

Nobel Peace Prize: Trump'sThird Nomination

You'd never guess it after watching last Tuesday's debate! 

She Was A Woman!

 Helen Reddy has sung her last song.  

I Hope You've Learned Your Lesson!

 Keep skunks and Democrats at a distance!

Hunter Biden Has Reformed

He doesn't do drugs anymore! He just engages in international money laundering and bribery.  

Wow! What a relief!

Biden's Hidden Past

The Texas Commission on Environmental Quality warned the Brazosport Water Authority last Friday of the potential contamination of its water supply with Naegleria fowleri, a brain-eating amoeba. Biden has yet to disclose that he once lived there. 

Virus Goes Racial

The loonies are now claiming that the Wuhan Virus affects more Blacks than Whites.

  

Suffering From Biden's Disease

Senate Democrats are discussing removing Diane Feinstein from the Senate Judiciary Committee. The 87-year-old evidently suffers from Biden's Disease... the inability to comprehend what is going on or to talk about it with clarity. 

 

Will It Be Donna Brazile?

I wonder who the Democrats will arrange to have Joe Biden be provided with the questions for the 1st Presidential Debate ahead of time? 

 

Help Wanted

Wanted: Low-life male or female willing to file deposition alleging selected candidate for Supreme Court tried to coerce them into sexual relations 25+ years ago. Pay depends on experience and believeability. For applications, contact Diane Feinstein, Adam, Schiff or George Soros. 

 

Next Horrible Move By Our Enemies

Antifa... BLM... Anarchists... Media... Democrats... Now they're threatening to burn down our houses? 

 

Dumb As A Post Hole

The Democrats in charge of Minneapolis... the ones who voted to defund and eliminate their police department... are now consulting with Harvard graduates trying to figure out why their crime rates are going up!  

RBG

Even though I disagree with almost everything she said or did, I think she truly believed in America in her own way...unlike 99.9% of her Democrat colleagues.  RIP.  

How To Shut Down Biden For Ever and Ever

Turn off his teleprompter. 

I.S.I.S. Thriving In U.S.

I.S.I.S. has changed its name to Antifa and moved its headquarters into the United States.  

Best Therapy

 Sometimes, the best therapy is taking a long drive on a short road.  

John Kasich & MItt Romney

With all of their flapping off at the gums, one has to wonder why one of them isn't president?  Oh... couldn't get anyone to vote for them?  

So Much Pomp, So LIttle Substance

 Lindsey Graham.

What's Happening?

 We no longer hear about North Korea, Russia, Iran... all we hear about is riots and Covid.  Why?  

It's Time To Give In To Pelosi!

First, it was the Chinese Virus.  Next came the countless riots.  Now, California is burning to ashes.  Well somebody PLEASE let Nancy Pelosi have her damned ice cream?

Pelosi's Reasoning?

Could it be the main reason Pelosi is refusing to negotiate on a stimulus package is that we raised such a fuss over her illegal hair job?  In any event, she is not to be bothered; she's busy getting her nails sharpened!

 

AOC Is Now In Charge?

Alexandia Ocasio-Cortez is now ruling the roost in the "Democratic" Party.  Even a Kennedy can't beat her!  As for Nancy, she does as she's told!

Drowsy?

Drowsy? Just remember, pard... that marble slab is doggone hard.  

A message from Burma Shave... and advise to drive safely this holiday!

Chicken Mayor Runs For Cover

Portland Mayor Ted Wheel, who just had BLM and associated anarchists damage his condo building, has announced he is moving. Any decent American would stay put and resolve the problems in the city of which he is in charge.  Would you want a loser like this guy moving in next door to you?  

Talk About Putting Pearls On A Pig...

As the story goes, Nancy Pelosi went in to a beauty salon in San Francisco the other day and... well, you get the drift!  

 

Dilemma

Would you rather die of Covid-19 or of an attack by an anarchist? I think this poll is being conducted for the Democrat Party... one way or another, they want all conservative Americans to die. 

If You Have Any Question About Who To Vote For...

 

When you vote for a Democrat, this is what you are voting for. 

Would You Vote For Someone Who Doesn't Believe In God?

Well, we all know that the Democrats removed God from the Pledge of Allegiance.  And we know that they removed all references to God from their party platform.  As Nancy Pelosi once put it,"You don't need God anymore; you have us democrats!" 

The logical conclusion is that a vote for a Democrat is a vote for Satan.  

Postmaster General Must Be Fired

 He tells the truth.  

Are You Getting Enough

 Magnesium?

 

Warning! You Will Die!

Democrats are saying you will die of the Chinese Virus if you show up to vote in person at the polls, so you had damned well better vote by mail!  

Chicken little is still alive and well...

Stand Down

Recent history will prove that 99.3725% of politicians don't really know where they really stand about anything. 

 

Eliminating Racism: A New Approach

Portland State University campus police officers are being disarmed effective November 20th in order to eliminate systemic racism.  And... poof!  Just like that, racism disappears!

  

It's True! Kamala Harris Is NOT A U.S. Citizen!

She was born in Oakland...  

Birth Question

Coulld it be true that Kamala Harris and Barack Obama were both born in the same Hawaiian hospital?  

Just Askin'

If Biden and the Democrats were serious about picking a VP candidate who is smart and well-known, why didn't they pick Hillary? 

Asking for a friend...

Who IS That Masked Man?

Biden wants every American to wear masks indoors, outdoors, 24/7 for the next 90 days.  The key operative word here is "American."   That means... if you're an illegal alien, Antifa, BLM, an anarchist or a Democrat, you are exempt.  

Duh, I Don't Know!

How does one of the lowest polling presidential candidates in the primaries end up being first choice for Vice President?  

Ask Barack Obama and George Soros?

Question Of The Year!

Who's America's biggest enemy?

• Biden
• Harris
• The Democrats
• Obama
• Soros
• China
• Antifa
  

A Real Test For The Pests

Forget a cognitive test for Biden!  Let's test the mainstream media and see how many of them can pass one!

Looking For Diamond And Silk

After FOX NEWS gave them the boot for telling the truth about the Chinese Virus, they've joined Newsmax TV.  

Meet The New President Of The United States

 

Quit Picking On Biden!

We all know about his litany of faults, not the least of which is his escalating dementia. But, I think it's mean and cruel for us to keep bringing it up.  Let's just let the Democrats fall on their own swords and forget about it.  

Wear Your Mask To Bed At NIght!

Just in case a burglar breaks in, help stop the spread of the Chinese Virus!

CUOMO WANTS... WHAT?

New York's ultra-intelligent Governor Cuomo wants wealthy New Yorkers to return, now that he has cured the Chinese Virus.  No mention was made in his plea about BLM, Antifa, anarchists, defunding the police or high taxes...

BEDLAM IN SMOKE-FILLED ROOMS

The Democrats are in deep turmoil.  They just don't know how to keep Uncle Joe off the debate stage with Trump and the word is that Joe's cognitive abilities are declining at a more rapid pace. 
 

PREFERENCE TEST

Would you rather be a Democrat or an American? 

WILFORD BRIMLEY

A great western actor and a good guy, now plying his trade on a greater stage... so to speak.  

HERMAN CAIN

Would have made a great President.  Sorry to see him leave. 

BIG TROUBLE AHEAD AT THE DNC IN MILWAUKEE!

So far, over 100 law enforcement agencies previously committed to provide security at the 2020 Democratic National Convention have backed out.  

MY LITTLE SECRET

Two-bits says Joe Biden won't be on the Democrat Presidential Ticket.  

KISSING ASS

Have you noticed how Fancy Nancy follows AOC around like a little puppy dog? 

OLIVIA DE HAVILLAND

Gone With The Wind....

REGIS PHILBIN

There went the Millionaire. 

IF YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW...

If you're really interested in an unbiased, factual report on the Biden escapades and the Obama Administration, skip the mainstream media and check out One America News Investigates on Saturday and Sunday Nights. 

TWO-FACED SENATOR

Looks like Kamalala Harris has had a face lift?

GUESS WHO'S NOT COMING TO DINNER!

Mary Trump.

WHO NEEDS A COP?

Any person who grabs a gun and starts shooting people is obviously mentally disturbed.  I agree... why send a cop?  Send a psychiatrist.  

BUY AMERICAN

Let China stick their goods up their Wuhans!

FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET!

Biden said he was in favor of defunding the police.  Then, the police unions endorsed Trump for reelection.  Now Biden has changed his mind, or what little of it he has left! 

OUR DEMOCRAT-CONTROLLED STATE GOVERNMENTS IN ACTION

You can't go into a church to worship, but feel free to burn it down.  

CODY, THE DEAD CAT

Cody, the dead cat from Georgia who got a voter registration packet in the mail was, it turns out, a Democat.  

REDSKINS' NEWS NAME

How about the Washington Weenies? 

WEED

The vast majority of what you see happening in our cities and on our streets today is what results when you legalize weed and tolerate hard drugs. 

BRAIN- EATING AMOEBA HITS FLORIDA

For details on its effects, contact Joe Biden. 

TURNING THE TABLES

DEFUND THE PROTESTERS!

AND SUDDENLY, JUST LIKE THAT...

Black Angus cows no longer exist. 

CHARLIE DANIELS

His passing will be mourned by country music fans and military veterans across the country. A gentleman and, above all, a true American.  
 

MISSISSIPPI'S NEW STATE FLAG

THINK ABOUT THIS THIS WEEKEND

SMOKIN' JOE SAYS YOU WILL WEAR MASKS!

Joe Biden said last week that when he becomes president, he will compel Americans to wear face masks and will use every federal power available to make sure that you do.  

The gas chambers await us? 

HEADLINE OF THE YEAR

FOX NEWS HEADLINE:

"Chicago drive-by shooting kills 20-month-old child: 'When is this going to stop?'"

Answer: Not until Americans take back their country! 

TWO LIARS IN THE WHITE HOUSE?

Just think... If "Uncle" Joe Biden selects "Benghazi" Susan Rice to be his vice-president and they win, we'll have two well-known liars in the White House! 

DON'T MESS WITH PELOSI!

She will get even! 
 

CARLY FIORINA WON'T SUPPORT TRUMP

That's fair enough.  We don't support her either, as was obvious in 2016.  

THEY'RE GOING TO REPLACE THE STATUES?

They're going to replace the statues of Washington, Jefferson, Grant and Jackson with statutes of Marx, Guevara, Alinski and Mao? 

I think not!   

JOHN BOLTON IS WORKING ON HIS NEXT BOOK!

"How to Win Friends and Influence People!"

CHOP, CHOP

Backed into a corner, Seattle's daffodil mayor says she's going to chop the occupation of the CHOP zone, chop, chop!  Will Antifa, the anarchists, the Fascists and the Democrats allow that to happen? 
. 

HOW TO PICK A VICE PRESIDENT

It doesn't matter who you pick, or whether or not they are the most qualified for the job.  The only thing that matters is that they must be Black.  
 

DE BLASIO FUMES

New York's Mayor DeBlasio has been keeping city parks closed down so people won't congregate there during the Chinese Virus.  In the meantime, he had no compunctions about marching with thousands of protesters in the streets.  Orthodox Jews in the neighborhood of one such park took matters and cut the locks to the fence around the park.  

DeBlasio's exhaust pipe is now running overtime.  

WILY NANCY IS AT IT AGAIN!

Nancy Pelosi wants Washington DC to become the nation's 51st State so she can have more Democrats in the House and Senate.  And she thinks we're dumb enough to go for it. 

STUPIDITY IN SPADES!

They've got cops walking off the job everywhere and they've got Mayors stupid enough to tell the remaining cops they have to start working 12-hour shifts seven days a week to make up for it?  Where in God's name do these cretins come from?

WELCOME TO THE NEW AMERICA

Where nobody stands up for what's right anymore!

FLOWERS IN SEATTLE

The Antifa-BLM-anarchist takeover of part of Seattle has morphed into a hell-hole of thuggery and violence.  If you're white, you have to fork over $10 to every Black within the compound... or else.  If you are trying to operate a business there, you're suddenly in financial partnership with these "peaceful demonstrators." 

Unfortunately, the city's mayor is a totally clueless daffodil. 

GET READY TO STRAP ON YOUR GUNS!

They're going to fire all the cops!

STAY OUT OF SAN FRANCISCO!

The transit authority there has decided it will no longer transport cops to the scene of riots or protests... but they will transport rioters and protesters!  

PELOSI, HOUSE DEMS TURN BLACK!

Nancy Pelosi and her imbecilic House entourage of weebie-jeebies  knelt the other day.  Before doing so, they all donned African kente cloth, which evidently proves they are blood-relatives of George Floyd.

CHICAGO'S DEADLIEST MURDER DAY IN 60 YEARS!

Sounds to me like this is an ideal time for them to defund their police department.  

CONSIDERING DE BLASIO...

The last place on earth I would want to visit or live in would be New York City, where the cops are treated like scum.  

GOOD RIDDANCE TO NORTH CAROLINA!

We didn't want the GOP to have its convention there anyway!

DAMAGE CONTROL

The Democrats don't even know how to do that!

THERE'S ONE BULDING THAT NEVER GOT BURNED DOWN IN MINNEAPOLIS...

The brewery.  

A BUNCH OF FLY-BY-NIGHTS!

Astronauts. 

EVER HEAR ANYTHING FROM JOHN HUBER?

Remember him?  He's the U.S. Attorney from Salt Lake City who was chosen by then Attorney General Jeff Sessions in March of 2018 to head up "the" investigation into the FBI and its corruption.  

I haven't heard a peep from him, have you?

Oh, and by the way... He was appointed as a U.S. Attorney by Barack Hussein Obama.  

This was another snow job by Sessions, who is now seeking election back to his old job as a Deep State Senator from Alabama!  

CEMETERY MADNESS

The overwhelming majority, 78.3% of people in cemeteries, are demanding mail-in ballots! 

HERTZ

Hurts.  

DREAM

I don't know about you, but I'm getting damned sick and tired of living the Democrats' dream for America! 

BIDEN CLAIMS THE LIFELONG SUPPORT OF NAACP?

The NAACP immediately fires back it has never endorsed him, saying it has never endorsed anyone. 

Not even Barack Hussein Soetoro Obama.  

STILL LOCKED IN?

GOVERNMENT LIAR'S CONTEST WINNER

It was a tossup between Schiff and Rice. 

COVID BOREDOM

I'm as bored as an Amish electrician!

WHAT'S GOOD ABOUT THE COVID-19?

While Covid-19 has wreaked havoc with out health and economic systems, there's one good thing it has done: It has outed the dozens of tyrannical Democrats in government statehouses and city halls across the country for who they really are.  

HAS ANYONE TOLD JOE?

More than one top DNC general has said that Joe Biden will not be the party's candidate going into the November elections.  

PELOSI IS LOSING HER GRIP!

Things are getting testy in the back halls of Congress.  Many Democrats are bolting, saying they will vote against Pelosi's $3 trillion "relief" package that's full of pork sausage.  Lovely Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, in the meanwhile, is again angling to take Pelosi's Speaker's job.  

TESTY GOVERNOR'S SNIT FITS

I wonder what Michigan's Governor Gretchen Whitmer is going to do after the citizens literally throw her out on the street?  Cry like a baby?  Blame it on Trump? 

TWISTING SLOWLY, EVER SO SLOWLY IN THE WIND

I wonder if it bothers the Democrats any that the only person they have left who can save the party is... Bernie Sanders?  
 

MODERN DAY DETECTIVE WORK

Deputy: "So, how will I catch the guy who robbed you?  Any identifying characteristics?"

Victim: "Yes!  He's the only guy in town who isn't wearing a mask!"

ROY HORN

Literally the cat's meow...

His final disappearance.   

"CHINESE VIRUS" IS HATE SPEECH

The San Antonio City Council is considering sending people to jail for using the words "Chinese virus."  I think the City Council should be put in jail for trying to censor free speech. 

Considering the fact that the Chinese unleashed the virus on us in the first place and that it was an act of biological warfare, I'd just as soon call it the "Chink virus." 

HANDY TIP FOR REDUCING LAUNDRY COSTS

Stay naked.  

NOW IS THE TIME FOR ALL GOOD AMERICANS...

To vote out every damned member of Congress.  

UNCONSTITUTIONAL FARCE

Chinese Virus restrictions.  

CHRISTIANS GET BOOTED FROM NYC

Samaritan's Purse, a Christian-based humanitarian relief organization run by Franklin Graham, established a field hospital in Central Park to help the city in the COVID-19 battle. The move has been decried by the left due to Samaritan Purse's biblical views on sexuality, despite the organization's commitment to serve every patient without discrimination.  

New York City doesn't want any help from Christians?   

GONE MISSING IN NEW YORK!

They're saying that New York state mismanaged millions of Chinese Virus dollars, paying for equipment that never arrived and ordering other equipment that was never used.  Money... substantial money... could well have gone south. 

Isn't it unbelievable that such a thing could happen in New York, of all places? 

DE BLASIO: PERSONA NON GRATA

Don't look for charming New York City Mayor DeBlasio to be invited to any bar mitzvahs in the near future. 

But, while showing his bigotry toward Jews, he had no compunctions about offering Muslims free meals during Ramadan.  

SHOCKING! JUST PLAIN SHOCKING!

New York City Mayor, upon being told that some prisoners he ordered released due to the Chinese Virus had immediately committed more crimes, says he's "shocked!" 

"It's unconscionable!"
 

MICROSOFT NEEDS TO DIE

Microsoft needs to be put out of business.  

Windows 10 and its constant, worthless updates is the worst piece of trash to be foisted upon an unsuspecting public since Nancy Pelosi was born.  
 

HAROLD REID

He made the State Brothers what they were.  

JOE BIDEN SAYS TRUMP WILL DELAY NOVEMBER ELECTIONS

Good ol' Joe forgets that Trump doesn't think like a Democrat! 

CALIFORNIA: LEAVING THE LIGHTS ON

California has secured 15,000 rooms from Motel 6 to house the homeless.  I wonder whether not if you're both homeless and an illegal alien, can you get two rooms? 

L.A. UNEMPLOYMENT

They are saying that, due to the Chinese Virus, 50% of the workers there are unemployed.  I don't know what the issue is... isn't that percentage down from what it was before Chinese Virus came to town?  

PELOSI REMINDS ME OF...

A magpie in heat." 

THANKS

Thank God for Donald Trump.

Thank Satan for Nancy Pelosi.  

PELOSI GRADES TRUMP AN "F"

I grade Pelosi an FY.  

THE COPS MEAN BUSINESS

They don't care if you are speeding, driving drunk, not wearing a seat belt, just robbed a bank and murdered your brother... but, if you're violating the stay-at-home orders, you're going to the slammer for a very long time.  

BARACK'S BELATED ENDORSEMENT

I understand Joe was going to thank Barack for his endorsement, but he can't remember who Barack is?  

WHY IS IT?

Pot stores are "essential" and therefore exempt from closure, while liquor stores are not? 

JESUS WAS PLANNING ON RETURNING TO EARTH, BUT...

All of the airline flights have been cancelled. 

IN THIS TIME OF NEED...

I would like to know if there is any way I can name myself as beneficiary on my life insurance policies and take the money with me? 

WHO WAS...

That masked man, Kemo Sabe?  

REWRITE OF AN OLD SONG

"BYE, BYE BERNIE"

ONE GOOD THING ABOUT CORONAVIRUS

Nobody's talking about Pocahontas anymore...

WHO IN THE HELL IS JOE BIDEN?

DE BLASIO SCREWS UP... AGAIN!

The U.S.S. Comfort, new docked in New York, was meant to take non-Covid-19 patients so that hospitals could concentrate on care for those sick with the virus.  Of course, the first patients taken to the ship were suffering from Coronavirus.  

How's DeBlasio going to blame that on Trump? 

THE GRAND CANYON HAS CLOSED

That's right... Nancy Pelosi is going to keep her mouth shut...

SURE FIRE NEW BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY

I sure would like to be in the divorce attorney business after this "shelter-in-place" stuff is over with...

TODAY

Today is April Fools Day... which means that Joe Biden is another year older.  

PELOSI NEEDS TO STOP DRINKING

And enter a Venezuelan rehab. 

THE LAST TIME PELOSI ACTED LIKE AN AMERICAN

Was the day before she was born in 1840. 

PELOSI HAS THE VIRUS!

Mad Cow Disease. 

BUY UNDERWEAR AND BOOZE IMMEDIATELY

Hanes is converting it's manufacturing plants from underwear to face masks.  Distilleries are switching from making booze to making hand sanitizer. Unless we act now, it's only a matter of days before we'll all be naked and sober!

San Jose cops have stopped arresting bank robbers because they're too busy arresting people who are violating the Governor's stay-at-home orders.

LIBERAL LOGIC 101

Let me see if we can follow the Liberal Democrats "Logic" in Today’s World...

If a mentally-ill dude pretends to be a woman, you are required to pretend with him.

It’s un-American for the census to count how many Americans are in America.

Russians influencing our elections are bad, but Mexicans voting in our elections are good.

It was cool for Joe Biden to blackmail the President of Ukraine, but it’s an impeachable offense if Donald Trump inquires about it.

 Twenty is too young to drink a beer, but eighteen is old enough to vote.

 Sexualizing children is bad, but 11-year-old drag queens are good.

Illegals aren't required to show ID, but citizens can't buy cough medicine without it.

It’s okay for Iran to have nukes, but duck hunters should turn in their shotguns.

Citizens are fined if they don’t buy their own health insurance,

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People who have never owned slaves should pay slavery reparations to people who have never been slaves.

Inflammatory rhetoric is outrageous, but harassing people in restaurants is virtuous.

People who have never been to college should pay the debts of college students who took out huge loans for useless degrees.

 Immigrants with tuberculosis and polio are welcome, but you’d better be able to prove your dog is vaccinated and you don’t have coronavirus. 


 Irish doctors and German engineers who want to immigrate must go through a rigorous vetting process, but any illiterate Central-American gang-banger who jumps the southern fence is welcome.

We demand that the government be in control of our health care, but then we are outraged when the government makes our health care decisions.

 $5 billion for border security is too expensive, but $1.5 trillion for “free” health care for illegals is not.

Men are evil misogynists, and a hooker named Stormy Daniels is a national treasure.

 If you cheat to get into college you go to prison, but if you cheat to get into the country you go to college for free.

Politicians who say that the President is not above the law put illegal immigrants above the law.

 Kids can’t bring peanut butter to school, but they can bring measles, mumps, small poxs and coronavirus.

 People who say there is no such thing as gender are demanding a female President.

It’s terrible when the President says that Puerto Rico’s politicians are corrupt, but it’s wonderful when Puerto Rico’s politicians are kicked out of office for corruption.  

Illegals don’t pay taxes, but they get tax refunds.

We are $22 trillion dollars in debt, but we should throw money at every perceived problem like drunken sailors.

We see other countries going Socialist and collapsing, and it seems like a great plan to us.

We demand high minimum wages for unskilled labor, and we demand unlimited illegal immigration of people who will work for peanuts.

Voter suppression is bad, but not allowing the President to be on the ballot is good

Fourth-of-July parades are bad, but parades of women dressed as vaginas and men dressed as women are good.

Some people are held responsible for things that happened before they were born, and other people are not held responsible for what they are doing right now.



Did I miss any?