BUY UNDERWEAR AND BOOZE IMMEDIATELY

Hanes is converting it's manufacturing plants from underwear to face masks.  Distilleries are switching from making booze to making hand sanitizer. Unless we act now, it's only a matter of days before we'll all be naked and sober!

San Jose cops have stopped arresting bank robbers because they're too busy arresting people who are violating the Governor's stay-at-home orders.