PERPLEXITY 101

Scientists say they can find no reason why the universe should exist.  Therefore, you and I are only figments of our own imaginations.  

And your vote in the 2016 elections did not count?  

 

SUING WASHINTON

There's a rumor floating around that Bethesda, Maryland, may be getting ready to sue Washington, DC, over the stench of the swamp blowing to the northwest.  

FATS DOMINO

Another legendary performer leaves us.  Where are all of these greats going?  Could it be to Blueberry Hill?  

CRIME PAYS

The IRS has rehired 213 former employees who were dismissed after being found guilty of gross misconduct. 
 

CARTER DISGRACES DEMOCRATS

Former President Jimmy Carter says Obama made a ton of promises that he never followed through on, that he did not vote for Hillary, there is no Russian-Trump collusion and that the press has been meaner toward Trump than any other president.  

Ewww!  

SOMEHOW I DON'T THINK...

That robots will ever demand to be paid $15.00 an hour.  

OUR GOVERNMENT IS INFESTED WITH...

Cockroaches, rats and snakes.  

I'M BEGINNING TO WONDER...

Who's side Jeff Sessions is really on.  

I THINK COLIN KAEPERNICK...

Wants Roger Goodell's job. 

BUY STOCK IN TROJANS

The Boy Scouts are now going to accept girls.  

THERE'S NO TRUTH TO THE RUMOR...

That Clayton Moore has been called to testify before Congress about the unmasking scandal.  
 

KAEPERNICK TRIES TO BLACKMAIL AMERICA

Knowing just how valuable a football player he is and just how much sports fans are demanding that he come back onto the field, Colin Kaepernick has said he will stand for the National Anthem if he is allowed to play in the NFL again.   

 

PAUL RYAN CAN BE REPLACED

ON THE CALENDAR

Have you notice that charities send you their calendars earlier and earlier every year, looking for donations?  I got one from one organization in June for 2018, so I sent them a check.  A week later, I received their 2019 calendar... 

POINT TO PONDER

If guns were illegal at the time, the American Revolution could never have occurred.  

IT'S COLUMBUS DAY

Let's go sailing.  

AS A RESULT OF THE LAS VEGAS SHOOTING...

Rumor has it that California plans to enact a new law stating that it is illegal to have any gun within 1,500 yards of another gun.  

THERE'S NO TRUTH TO THE RUMOR

That O.J. Simpson's fans are presenting him with a new white Ford Bronco. 
 

BYE, BYE HUGH HEFNER

He made a clean breast of it.  

REGURGITATION 101

Like a bad recording in an endless dream, over and over and over again:  "We're going to repeal and replace ObamaCare."  

It's worse than being stuck at the bottom of  an empty bottle of cheap gin.  

WET BAG

Collectively speaking, this Congress can't legislate its way out of a wet paper bag.