THEATRE

The Senate Hearing Room yesterday was much ado about nothing.  Not a damned thing that was said in that hearing changed any votes; everybody had their minds made up two months ago.  

JUSTICE CLARENCE THOMAS MUST RESIGN

That's according to Mia Farrow.  

SLEAZE BALL

A Democrat.  Any Democrat.  Also known as slime ball. 

DALLAS COWBOYS FOR SALE?

Rumor has it you can buy the Dallas Cowboys for $100.  After all, they are ranked as the most valuable NFL franchise...

MODERN DAY COSA NOSTRA

The I.R.S., F.B.I. and D.O.J.  

IT'LL BE A COLD DAY IN HELL...

It'll be a cold day in hell before I believe a woman who cries rape 36 years after the supposed event, with no witnesses and constantly changing stories, and when she's had multiple opportunities to do so before. 

OBAMA AND CLINTON COULD FINALLY BE IN DEEP, DEEP TROUBLE

The I.R.S. is going to crack down on people who use offshore accounts in order to avoid taxes, penalties and jail time.  

NO COINCIDENCE

The number of views of college football games in increasing, while the number of NFL viewers is decreasing. 

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A LEFT-WING SOCIALIST AND A DEMOCRAT?

SCHUMER, FEINSTEIN AND BOOKER

The Senate's most reliable pariahs.  

LIBERALS JUST CAN'T DO ANYTHING CORRECT

A college professor in Las Vegas evidently intended to commit suicide, because he hates Trump.  So, he shot himself.  Somehow, he missed, and only wounded his arm.  But, he was nice enough to leave a $100 bill taped to the restroom mirror for the janitor.  

FOR SALE

Slightly used Nike tennis shoes.  Some burn marks, smell a little like lighter fluid.  Size 10, wide.  $2.00.  (503) 671-6453.  

HOLD IT!

That's what passengers on an American  Airlines flight were told the other day when all lavatories went on the fritz.  The plane was flying from Phoenix to... Hawaii.  That must have been a real non-pisser. 

BENGHAZI NEVER HAPPENED

So saith the Lord Majesty, Barack Hussein Obama.  

It was all a figment of our imaginations.  

SORRY, SALLY

Burt Reynolds has left the stage.  

JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME... ALMOST

Just a couple of weeks after the horrific Carr Fire in and near Redding, California... The National Park Service is about to award a grant for treating fuels in the forest of Whiskeytown National Park... which was burned up in the fire.  

PEOPLE MAY HAVE THE RIGHT TO PROTEST

But, they have NO night to be unruly. 

SEX

If you want your kids to learn about sex, take them to the bishop.  

DIGNITY

Judge Jeanine says Sessions needs to step aside; where's his dignity?  Show me an anti-Trump closet establishment RINO who has dignity and I'll show you the end of the rainbow. 

OFF

HAPPY LABOR DAY