POLITICAL HISTORY IN THE MAKING? Maybe Not!

Heard it said we'll either have the first black President or the first woman Vice-President. I guess the presumptuous toads don't figure Nader or Barr can win.....

HERE WE GO AGAIN

Louisiana's going to get another blow job.

THERE'S ONLY ONE WORD TO DESCRIBE MCCAIN'S VP CHOICE

Wow!

ANTHONYS TO JOIN O.J. SIMPSON

Caylee Anthony's parents are going to continue to search for Caylee while O.J. continues to search for Nicole's real killer?

HILLARY DISAPPOINTED ME

She didn't wear her nice, yellow canary outfit when she gave her speech.

GOOD OLD BILL DOES IT AGAIN!

Hickory, dickory dock
The Bill ran up the clock....

It wasn't Bill? It was a mouse? Oh.

FAR-LEFT LIBERAL MEDIA BARES ITS UGLY FANGS

The verbal, almost physical assault on Michelle Malkin bordered on tyranny. These guys should go pick on someone their own size.... like pissants.

NEW POLITICAL PARTY

The 50% of Democrats who don't like Obamama and the 50% who don't like McCanncann are joining together to form a new party.

They're going to call themselves the "Boot Camp" Party, because they'll be Left, Right, Left, Right....

OBAMA TALKS RUSSIANS INTO BACKING OFF!

Obama has proven that his strategy of sitting down to talk things out is the right way to go. Word is that he's been engaged in secret talks with Sputin and Sputin has agreed to withdraw all Russian troops from all of Georgia and to compensate Georgia for damages as soon as hell freezes over.....

DEMOCRATS NOT HAPPY WITH THEIR CANDIDATES

Judging by the way things are starting in Denver, what with the riot police already showing up and everything, it appears that there is dissension in the rank and file.

If it's any comfort to anyone, the Republicans appear to be ingredients of the same dissension stew.

DENVER OMELETTE

Obama yo' mama, Clinton, Edwards, Polosi, Reid, with a light touch of Clooney, all beaten up with eggs and grilled. Easy on the cholesterol.

Topped with Gray Poop thereOn.

REPUBLICAN PARTY IS THE "WHITE" PARTY

Does that supposed to infer that the Democratic Party is the "Black" Party?

Uhh, Howard Dean, unless I'm missing something, I think you must be in the wrong party.

IRAN INTRIGUE

Hey! How come we don't hear anything about General Electric and Iran centrifuges and nuclear plans anymore?

For that matter, how come no one has ever discussed the close relationship British Petroleum, aka BP ARCO, has with Iran?

Okay, sorry I asked. Yeah, it's none of my beeswax. But, I sure am getting tired of not getting the facts. This must either be a total lack of Freedom of the Press, or a massive failure of the press to do its job.

CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF

Rielle Hunter

EDWARDS DESERVES VICE PRESIDENTIAL BID

He's proven beyond any doubt that he meets the qualifications for being a top leader of the country and a top politician within his party.

He likes to fuck around.

He likes expensive haircuts.

He likes manipulating the truth.

He likes playing with other peoples' money.

MEDIA SITTING THIS ELECTION OUT ON ITS BUTTS

We depend on the press and the media for knowledge, for the facts. We're getting awfully close to a Presidential election. But, we don't know any more about McCain's family or Obama's family than we do about the man in the moon.

OBAMA WHINES AGAIN!

That damn book is UNFAIR and that damned author is biased! It's full of lies and bullshit, just like the book he wrote about Kerry! So, you OWE me your vote!

MR. PUTIN, PLEASE GET OUT OF GEORGIA!

Please. Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with sugar on it?

PUTIN vs EDWARDS

We continue to hear more about Edwards, his tryst and his "love child" than we do about Russia's invasion of Georgia. After all, priorities are priorities, right?

I wonder if Edwards tipped that barber who gave him a $400 clip job?

COLIN POWELL BACK IN THE NEWS: Will He Be Obama's Running Mate?

Well, that would certainly balance the age factor out.

BEING POLITICALLY CORRECT ABOUT TERRORISM

The Nation of Islam is complaining about our reference "Islamic Terrorists." They say that unfairly suggests that all of Islam support terrorism. Government agencies, including the State Department, seem to agree, and are suggesting that the media only use the term, "Terrorists."

Well, that's really generic. White terrorists? Christian terrorists? Irish terrorists?

But, I agree. In 2008, we need to be more sensitive to the feelings of other peoples. So, MY suggestion is that we go ahead and change the terminology. From now on, let's just call them "Islamic Motherfuckers!"

L.A. VENTURES FURTHER INTO LALA LAND; Bans Fast Food Restaurant Growth

The city council has banned any new fast food restaurants in South Los Angeles for the next year because the people there are too fat. 30% of the people living in that area are overweight, while only 19% of those in the rest of the city are overweight.

Evidently, L.A. is starting to tilt, in more than one meaning....

HEY, OBAMA! HEY, MCCAIN! IT'S YOUR MOVE!

Russian Checkers, any one?

RUSSIA BLAMES GEORGIA: Carter Denies Responsibility

Price of peanuts goes up.

OBAMA'S ENERGY PLAN: One Step Beyond

If all of us in this country would quit using our air conditioning in our cars, businesses, and homes, we could cut our national energy usage by 30% .

I'm therefore proposing that Congress pass a law, as soon as they get back from their cruises to Alaska and Hawaii, to make it illegal to use air conditioning... any time, any place, for any reason.

Let's start with the Capitol. The way I figure it, with their abundance of hot air all of the incumbents will be sweating their collective balls, (or lack of them), off and they'll then resign. Finally, we may be able to get something done in this country.

This government is a joke. And THAT'S not funny!

GEORGIA OR RUSSIA?

Who will win more Gold Medals?

PARIS HILTON HAS BETTER ATTRIBUTES THAN THE OTHER BOOBS!

Now, why did I give up the whole joke in the headline?

Freudian slip?

Maybe I was just trying to make a clean breast of things?

EDWARDS

Looks as if Edwards got screwed out of the Vice Presidency... (double entendre)

A MOMENT IN HISTORY

8:08:08 08-08-08

Don't be late
Don't matriculate
Don't procrastinate
Don't speculate
Don't fornicate, pontificate, participate, master.....
Oh well, just don't do it.

HOUSE ENERGY COMMITTEE BREAKS FOR SUMMER RECESS!

HILLARY'S SALIVATING!

With Obama plummeting in the polls and her holding on to her delegates, Hillary might make a dramatic comeback in the Democratic Convention!

Forget the Gray Poop-on, just pass the Preparation H.

EVERYTHING IS TURNING UP ROSY?

My God! Congress leaves on vacation and right away, gas prices drop and the illegals are going to deport themselves! First thing we know, the UFO guys are going to teach us how to create unlimited pollution free renewable energyand Osama is going to trot out of the mountains and raise his hands in surrender!

MEDIA NOT REPRESENTING THE TRUE FACTS

They cite one poll or another and say that McCain and Obama are even, depicting that McCain has "caught up" to Obama. A www.whitehouse.com combination of the 12 top polls in the country shows:
McCain: 41.8 %
Obama: 46.3 %
Other: 11.8 %
Lord, God Almighty! Does that mean you can't trust the media?

ONE WAY TO KEEP THE POLITICIANS IN WASHINGTON

Would be to make them all pass a sobriety test before they board an outbound plane.

WHERE GAS PRICES ARE LOWER THAN NATIONAL AVERAGE

In and around Crawford, Texas and Washington, D.C.

I wonder why that is?

THE ONLY THING LOWER THAN A POLITICIAN...

Is a snake's belly.

IS BUSH A PUPPET ON A STRING?

Seems to me that every time Obama points out something he would do if President, Bush does it.
Please pass the Obama baked beans.....