DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THE RUSSIAN SHIPS AND VENEZUELA?

Just thought I'd ask, while those idiots in Washington are playing football fumble, if they're paying any attention to anything else while they stand around in the halls of Congress with their fingers up their asses.

THE REASON FOR THE MAD RUSH TO COMPLETE THE BAILOUT?

The sooner they get it done, perhaps, the more time we have to forget about it before the election? Now, why in God's name would the bastards in Congress be worried that we might get even at election time by voting them out?

Paybacks are a bitch?

SO LONG, PAUL

It was a long haul, Paul
But you had a great ride;
Now that you're on the other side,

You'll be missed.

CLOSE IT DOWN

We need to close down two things:

The stock market

Congress.

$700 billion problem solved.

LOATHSOME POLITICS

We're in a time of national crisis and Reid tells the two national Presidential candidates that they have no standing to be involved in it... and they're both United States Senators?

Who in the fuck does Reid think he is?

BAIL, BAIL, BAIL US ALL OUT!

I'm against the $85,000,000, 000.00 bailout of AIG.

Instead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000, 000 to America in

a We Deserve It Dividend.

To make the math simple, let's assume there are 200,000,000

bonafide U.S. Citizens 18+.

Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman

and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up..

So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billon that equals
$425,000.00.

My plan is to give $425,0 00 to every person 18+ as a

We Deserve It Dividend.

Of course, it would NOT be tax free.

So let's assume a tax rate of 30%.

Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes.

That sends $25,500,000, 000 right back to Uncle Sam.

But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket.

A husband and wife has $595,000 .00.

What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?

Pay off your mortgage - housing crisis solved.

Repay college loans - what a great boost to new grads

Put away money for college - it'll be there

Save in a bank - create money to loan to entrepreneurs.

Buy a new car - create jobs

Invest in the market - capital drives growth

Pay for your parent's medical insurance - health care improves

Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean - or else

Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks

who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company

that is cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed
Forces.

If we're going to re-distribute wealth le t's really do it...instead of
trickling out

a puny $1000.00 ( "vote buy" ) economic incentive that is being proposed
by one of our candidates for President.

If we're going to do an $85 billion bailout, let's bail out every adult
U S Citizen 18+!

As for AIG - liquidate it.

Sell off its parts.

Let American General go back to being American General.

Sell off the real estate.

Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.

Here's my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn't.

Sure it's a crazy idea that can "never work."

But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party!

How do you spell Economic Boom?

I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion

We Deserve It Dividend more than I do the geniuses at AIG or in
Washington DC .

And remember, The Family plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because
$25.5 Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.

GET OUT THE SKILLETS!

These Congressional yokels are fighting like barracudas and piranhas over the taxpayers' $700 billion. Maybe we should have a good old fashioned fish fry.

80% OF BLACKS HAVE UNFAVORABLE VIEWS OF WHITES

Prove me wrong.

40% OF WHITES HAVE UNFAVORABLE VIEW OF BLACKS

That's what the poll says. That begs to ask the question, not asked in the poll for some mysterious reason, what percentage of blacks have an unfavorable view of whites?

I guess I'll have to ask Jeremiah Wright.

PIG IN A POKE

Trying to figure out which of the two candidates would be better at working with and leading Congress to better manage our country is like trying to figure out which lunatic would be better at running the asylum.

WHY OUR GOVERNMENT SUCKS

IF YOU HAVE A BAD ECONOMIC PROBLEM...

Throw money at it.

ALLAN GREENSPAN FOR PRESIDENT

That says it all.

MCCAIN'S EMAILS

Show me a President who is into emails, and I'll show you a President can't get the job done because he doesn't know how to use the telephone.

WASILLA, AK FASTEST GROWING CITY IN U.S.

Wasilla, popolation around 10,000 in 2008, has taken a sudden jump to 20,000.... That's 100% growth rate in just two weeks! The phenomenal growth is due to journalists and media types trying to dig up dirt on Sarah.

The Alaskan Tourist Bureau reports the highest volume of traffic at the Anchorage Airport in 413 years.

PALIN NOW BEING REFERRED TO AS THE "REPUBLICAN'S BLOW-UP DOLL."

Obviously, they're hoping to pinch her on her butt so hard that she'll fart and blow away.

PALIN MISS-PRONOUNCES NUCLEAR

Michael Seitzman caught her saying "nucular."

Well, she SHOULD be criticized for that. After all, Obama didn't mispronounce "pig," did he?

My God, when I heard she mispronounced "nucular," I damned near missed the urinal!

BILL CLINTON EXPLAINS TO BARACK WHY PALIN MUST BE STOPPED NOW!

If McCain/Palin beat Obama/Biden, Obama is finished and Hillary doesn't stand a chance against Palin in 1012.

Oh, shit.

BUSH DOCTRINE

Now THAT was a dumb way to phrase that question to a woman. The BEAVER doctrine would have been much better. Everyone knows that, if you have a beaver you are the ultimate authority over everything.

CONGRESSIONAL APPROVAL RATINGS SOAR!

It's a fact! 23% of Americans now think Congress is doing a good job...up from 22% two weeks ago!

SEPTEMBER 11, 2008 AKA: 9/11

The media is all off to Alaska to get the real skinny on "Lipstick" while all of the rest of the world stands still. It's ironic, isn't it? Russia is still in Georgia and has broken the cease fire, Korea's midget President has been sidelined by a non-existent stroke while the Koreans have begun to reassemble their nuclear facility and have built another long-range missile launch pad, Russian planes have been visiting Venezuela, Iran's midget President is threatening Israel again, another major U.S. financial firm is teetering on the verge of collapse, and our media is off on the quest to find out about lipstick and pigs.

The real surprise to me is that Congress, now back in session, hasn't already funded a $100 billion research project to find out the relationship between pigs, pit bulls and lipstick.

My God, this country really sucks right now..... big time!

LIPSTICK

The dumb S.O.B. called her a pig?

Well, drag out the hamhocks, lima beans, grits and watermelons.

Things just got nasty, and no amount of rib sauce will make the stench go away.

JEREMIAH WRIGHT HAS BEEN SHACKING UP!

News is out! He's been cavorting with one Elizabeth Payne.

Ah, what an upstanding, outstanding, righteous and good man of the cloth.

Right, Barack?

REMEMBER THAT TAX REBATE YOU JUST GOT?

DON'T CASH IT! The government needs it back to cover their costs on the FreddieMac and FannieMae debacles because the "economy is strong!"

Hurry up, now and get that money in the mail!

As for me, I'm heading for the three-ply toilet paper.

WHY OBAMA'S FORMER PRIMARY ENEMIES BACK HIM NOW

Here's how the game is played. You can't lie, cheat, steal from the public unless you're in power. The guy at the top of the dogpile gets to steal more, but if you're not in the dogpile at all, you don't get anything. So, you fight and scratch, bark and bite and shoot to kill the rest in the dogpile in order to get to the top, but if some other mutt head beats you out, he gets the cream of the dog bones and you'd better damned well go and lick his balls or you're going to starve to death.

OBAMA: THE GREAT MESSIAH, OR SATAN REINVENTED?

I don't know either. Guess we'll have to ask William Ayers, or Jeremiah Wright, or Louis Farrakhan or one of his nine other apostles

OBAMA'S NIGHTMARE AND A NEW WORD

He just awakened to discover that he's in the middle of a clusterfuckup.

DEFINITION OF A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE

I think that McCain defined himself at HIS convention
But, Obama still remains undefinable.

FOR GOD'S SAKE! YOU WOULD THINK SHE'S A LEPER!

May be that she's even tested positive for Americanism or patriotism!

Well, I've got news for YOU! Obama's got hemorrhoids!

Na, na, na, na na nah!

NEW MILITARY COMMAND

New command for the WAF'S, WAC'S and WAVES:

"Tits up for the Vice President of the United States!"

ONCE AGAIN I MUST DEFEND MY HONOR

Every time one of these scandals surfaces, I am attacked my hundreds of people who blame me. Once again, I must defend my honor. Sarah Palin's daughter is pregnant. I had nothing to do with it.

Why are they always accusing ME of these things, anyway?

Bill Clinton

OBAMA DECLARES PALIN'S DAUGHTER'S PREGNANCY "OFF LIMITS"

Is he the father or is he just being the Messiah again?

REPUBLICAN CONVENTION KICKS OFF; GUSTAV MAKES LAND

America is full of blow hards....