ONGOING ONE QUESTION POLL RESULTS

14% of Americans should not be living on this planet.

http://js.polls.yahoo.com/quiz/quiziframe.php?poll_id=46067

POLITICAL MATH

1 President +
1 Vice President +
1 Police Sergeant +
1 University Professor +
Beer +
Agree to disagree +
No apology +
No remarks from professor
=

1 Dog and Pony Show

(And now, the race is really on.)

SEXXX

Nothing to say, just wanted to see how many hits I could get with that headliner.

DOCTORS TICKED OFF AT OBAMA

President Obama last week suggested that physicians would do surgery just to pad their profits. Maybe that's why he flatly refuses to be included in the Government Health Care Plan he's trying to shove down our throats?

YOU'D BETTER LOSE WEIGHT, OR ELSE!

If you don't weigh within your allowed weight according to height, sex and age schedules, the Government is going to send you to the "fat farm" that they're going to establish at Guantanamo Bay after they free the terrorists. Instead of "Gitmo," the location will be known as "Fatmo."

They're also planning to levy a "Fat Tax" per pound overweight. Word has it, however, that they will allow you to subtract the weight of your sex organs, which explains why no Member of Congress will ever have to pay the Fat Tax.

WE REALLY NEED TO PASS THAT HEALTH CARE REFORM!

12 million illegal aliens are depending on it!

PELOSI SAYS SHE HAS THE VOTES

Does that mean she has the final count before the votes are taken?

IS OBAMA FANNING THE FLAMES OF AMERICAN DISCONTENT?

Or does he really think his shit doesn't stink?

NY AND NJ FRAUD & CORRUPTION

Nawwww! No kidding? Politicians involved? Schucks. Golly jeeez.

You don't suppose they'll ever investigate Washington, do you?

OBAMA SAYS HE HAS CURED OUR ECONOMIC PROBLEMS

Quick! Go buy a car and a new house!

THE WAY THOSE POLITICIANS KEEP SNARLING AT US

You'd think we had just farted in their elevator.

THE GREAT SHEPHERD

Since the President and Congress are convinced that they know everything and we know nothing and that the government has the obligation provide for the well-being of all of us, I vote that we all quit our jobs and sit on our tails for a couple of months drawing government benefits and paying no taxes, and let's see what happens.

WHEN GOD CREATED THE HEAVENS AND THE EARTH...

And He discovered that we were going to do business with politicians,
He gave us the moon.

GOOD NIGHT, WALTER

Walter Cronkite, in my mind, deserves a much bigger send-off than Michael J.

OUR ESTEEMED HOUSE SPEAKER

About all I can say for the United States House of Representatives is that it opens with a prayer and closes with Nancy Pelosi making an ass out of herself.

CONGRESS, SUPREME COURT, CABINET NOT NECESSARY

The messiah and his czars are in charge here.

Pewy

The smell of Obama's declaration that the Health Care Plan will be passed and that inaction is not an option.

OBAMA GETS ROUSING RECEPTION IN GHANA

Finally, after traveling to 63 or whatever countries and apologizing to all of them, he finally found a country that likes him. Whoopee.

Big whoopee.

Yeah.

SOTOMAYOR IS A "SHOE-IN"

There she is on national TV, limping graciously, ever so graciously with her bad ankle....
Now, you know damned well she's going to win her confirmation, don't you?
Awww, shucks, fellahs.....

IF THE PUBLIC'S OPINION OF THIS CONGRESS GETS ANY LOWER...

They'll all need parachutes to get off the dime.

HOW TO RAISE $1 TRILLION IN 24 HOURS

All you have to do is sell "IMPEACH CONGRESS" bumper stickers at $10 each.

SOLICITATION FOR PUBLIC HANGING

Any Washington politician who uses the phrase "second stimulus" should be hung by his/her balls immediately.

CALIFORNIA GOING TO POT?

The word is that California will legalize and tax marijuana to get out of debt.

Why don't they just use one of those debt-reduction services advertised on TV?

DON'T YOU THINK 98% OF POLITICIANS HAVE ONE OF THESE IN THEIR HOME?

SIX BRICKS SHORT OF A FULL LOAD

Back in January when he bullied and bamboozled Congress to get his economic stimulus plan passed, he said we would be facing higher unemployment unless the bill was passed. Just today, he said that he has always said and always know that unemployment would go up and that it will continue to go up.

May be it's time we Americans started apologizing to the rest of the world for our feeble-minded President?

OBAMA'S ON THE MOVE AGAIN

Since he keeps running around the world apologizing for America, what does he need Hillary for?

STEVE MCNAIR FOUND SHOT TO DEATH

The famed quarterback had a ball while he was here.

DRUGS IN MICHAEL JACKSON'S HOUSE

As any attorney will tell you, that doesn't mean that HE was taking them.

(I mean, other people lived there and besides, didn't he have kids around the house?)



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SARAH PALIN HAS EVERYONE GUESSING

It's Independence Day.... and she's independent.

Good for her. She just showed she has guts.

KEEP ROBERT GIBBS

Please, dear God, his Press Conferences are the only thing left in the country we can laugh at!

KARL MALDEN

Karl Malden, former Chicago steelworker died yesterday at the ripe old age of 97. His nose would fill any Cinerama movie screen and leave no room left for anyone to sit in the theater. He was an actor, mostly on Broadway, but better known for his long T.V. role in "THE STREETS OF SAN FRANCISCO," and for his American Express ads.

Unfortunately, he left home without us.

MICHAEL JACKSON'S KIDS

No father, no mother. Therefore, they do not exist. Case closed, end of story.

CONGRESS WANTS SANFORD OUT?

Talk about the pot calling the kettle black! What a bunch of hypocrites!

NORTH KOREAN SHIP NO LONGER ON RADAR?

Have you noticed that even since that tin-horned midget threatened to nuke the United States if we tried anything with his shipment, that we haven't heard another word about it? Guess he taught our illustrious President the facts of life, didn't he?