THE HAWAIIAN QUESTION

Well, Nancy Pelosi and the Obama's spent the Christmas holiday in Hawaii, as did Rush Limbaugh. What do you make of that?

(Oh, Rush got chest pains? I figured he'd have a pain someplace else on his body.....)

THIS IS THE YEAR THAT WAS

Now, we enter the year that IS.

Please pass the fizz.

ALAN GRAYSON IS TWO-BIT UNAMERICAN WOULD-BE DICTATOR

And now, Congressman Alan Grayson, let’s see you throw ME in jail for saying what I think. Come on there, big boy. You can do it. Don't be a spineless wuss! Show me what you're made of. Or, are you one of those guys who can talk the talk but, can't walk the walk?

TERRORIST ENTITLED TO BETTER TREATMENT

Did they read the Flight 253 terrorist is Miranda Rights? Did they talk mean to him and accuse him of being a terrorist? Has the President bowed to him yet and apologized for our country? Is he being allowed a copy of the Quran and does his cell face the East?

KATIE COURIC SPEAKS OUT

Katie Couric says she thinks the country is full of anger.

(Have you noticed that they create all of the crap, and then find some way to blame us for it?)

IF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY IS SO DARNED GOOD...

Why didn't they enact the health care reforms that they like back in 2002 when they were in charge of everything?

(Maybe we shouldn't be blaming the left-wing Democrats for this health care crap we're getting now?)

REID WANTS PEACE?

He needs to stay in Searchlight and leave us Americans alone.

LET'S GIVE OURSELVES A CHRISTMAS PRESENT

A SENIOR'S DILEMMA

Question: I'm over 65, on a fixed income and medicare and have supplemental insurance. Under the new plan they are shoving you know where, they are cutting medicare payouts, which means my supplemental premiums will go up in order for me to have the same coverages I do now. My taxes are also going up. This really puts me in a squeeze. What shall I do?

Answer: Just hang on a few days and the ACORN Rep will be by to give you your end-of-life counseling. (Listen for the jingle, "Ding, ding, ACORN calling?))

BOYCOTT NEBRASKA

Let them sit on their crops and beef until hell freezes over. Then, let's see what good their free Medicaid does them.

UNDER THE WHITE HOUSE CHRISTMAS TREE

A nice big lump of coal?

WHAT'S LOWER THAN A SENATOR'S ETHICS?

Not even a snake's belly.

SEWAGE

United States Senate.

FRANKENSIT SHOWS TRUE COLORS: Follow Up

So Al Frankensit, faced with a national uproar over his ungentlemanly behavior, offers no apologies or explanation other that to say, "Harry Reid told me to do it."

(Aren't those nincompooooops just so, so sweet? They'll even trash each other before they'll take ownership over what they say and do.)

FRANKENSNIT SHOWS TRUE COLORS

Senator Al Frankensnit refused to allow Senator Lieberman another minute to finish his statement in the Senate yesterday, a courtesy routinely given by the next person in line to speak. "Really?" Lieberman asked.

Frankensnit stuck by his guns, (confiscated from a constituent, no doubt), and Senator McCain objected to the treatment, saying he didn't know what in the hell the Senate is coming to.

Ahh, come on John. Shut up and get out of the way.

GOOD BYE TO ORAL ROBERTS

He's not oral anymore.

NATION'S CREDIT PROBLEM

So, the real problem is not that banks are not willing to give credit, it's that people don't want to borrow any more?

Well, in taking a page from the proposed Health Care debacle, the real answer is to require us to borrow or face a $25,000 fine; don't pay it and we get up to five years in jail.

(Maybe we can all learn how to speak Chinese together?)

DOING NOTHING IS NOT AN OPTION

God forbid we should start over on this project.....

IT'S NOT ABOUT THE CHICKEN AND THE EGG

We all know the answer to that question. The real question is:

What came first, Congress or the jackass?

OMNIBUS

Omnibus: A mode of travel, as in "I'm omnibus."

WEATHER BAD ACROSS UNITED STATES

Everyone is getting a Washington snow job.

OBAMA TOUTS SMALL BUSINESS LOANS

Let's see now... You're a small businessman and you are going to borrow $100,000 from the government under this great new plan, and then the government is going to tell you who to hire, how much to pay them, and who you can do business with?

Sounds like a terrific program to me.

(Psst! Maybe they'll tell you how many illegal aliens to hire and how to get them signed up for health insurance, too?)

TIGER WOODS AND ELEVEN WOMEN?

My God, he really has one helluva club in his bag!

But, is it legal for PGA play?

NEW PLAN FOR OBAMA TO RAISE MONEY?

What you do is withhold an extra 10% from everyone's pay check, and next year when they want they tax refunds, you just give them an IOU that you will never be able to pay back.

(Oh, California is already doing that?)

NASTY BOXER SHORTS

Instead of wanting to get at the bottom of the false statistics in the Climategate scandal, the illustrious Senator wants those who leaked the Emails to be investigated.

HARRY REID IS...

The rudest, most contemptuous and unpatriotic individual ever to occupy a seat in the United States Senate.

ARROGANCE

Telling Americans to shut up and get out of the way.

SCREW THE OLD FARTS

Take away $500 billion out of their Medicare. Deny them home health care. Raise their premiums. Jack up their taxes. They're old and useless, anyway.

Get it done before Christmas. The "Messiah" has spoken.

(P.S. Don't forget to fund abortions...)

UNEMPLOYMENT

According to Administration figures, consistently proven to be wrong, unemployment dropped from 10.2% to 10.0 % in October. How many people fell off of unemployment? Why can't you just give us figures, like 20.1 million are unemployed or under employed? Percentages don't mean anything and can be manipulated. Oh, you don't know how many? Well then, how can you figure percentages? Weegie board?

SANCTIMONIOUS WHITE HOUSE SAINTHOOD

The number of lies coming out of the White House these days makes Bill Clinton look like a saint.

RACHEL UCHITEL TO PARENTS:

"Guess who's NOT coming to dinner...."

TIGER

IN BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE

Here's our illustrious President, egging-on Holder to investigate CIA agents while, at the same time, having to rely on CIA information to tell him what is going on in Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, and North Korea, Pakistan, Russia... Or, as William Bendix would say... "What a revolting development this is!"

(Please pass the Gray Poop On?)

FLAT-FOOTED MEDIA

Weekends, nothing ever happens in this world. I guess that's why the media got caught flat-footed with Sunday's Iranian announcement they are building more uranium production sites? You suddenly realize that, if they had bombed the World Trade Center on a Sunday, we would not have known about it until Monday morning....