JANE RUSSELL

So long, boobsie baby.  Don't forget to wear your bra. 

SNOW IN LOS ANGELES

Happens about as often as sunshine in Seattle. 

U.N. PUTS SANCTIONS ON GHADAFI

Why didn't they just give him 50 lashes with a wet noodle?

SNAKE DANCE

Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi on "Dancing With The Stars."

$230,000 PER JOB SAVED

That's what it cost us to get the unemployment rate up to 9.4%. 

WISCONSIN STATE DEMOCRATS HIDE

Now you know what stuff the liberal left is really made of. 

RAHMBO WINS IN CHICAGO

Won't that city ever get rid of thugs? 

HUGE SUPPLY OF CRUDE OIL DISCOVERED

Floating around the bottom of the ocean in the Gulf.  

(Now, I wonder where THAT came from?  Well, it couldn't be from the Gulf oil leak, 'cause Obama says we cleaned that all up, right?) 

HAPPY OBAMA DAY!

Who cares about Washington and Lincoln, anyway?)

THE VERY LAST BUDGET CUT THAT WILL BE MADE

ObamaCare

STOP ALL OF THE HUFFING AND PUFFING

AND JUST CUT THE DAMNED BUDGET!

HAVE YOU NOTICED THIS ABOUT PELOSI?

She's been in a pissy mood ever since they repossessed her private Air Force jet.  

JUST OUT OF UNEMPLOYMENT CURIOSITY

If unemployment is at 9.4% and we have 3 million federal government employees, why haven't they laid off 282,000 federal employees instead of adding 220,000?  Is the President, Congress and government inherently exempt from the rest of the economic bull we are going through?  (Maybe it's part of the Fairness Doctrine?)

DONALD TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT

T. Boone Pickens for Vice President. 

BUDGETARY DRIVEL

Both parties are talking about cutting Social Security and Medicare because we are spending too much money on "entitlements."  

Okay, and so we're adding ObamaCare? 

I JUST CANCELED AOL

The idiots just merged with the Huffington Post. 

NYC STABBING RAMPAGE

A graffiti artist armed with five knives went on a bloody 28-hour rampage across New York City, fatally stabbing his stepfather, ex-girlfriend and her mother, running down a pedestrian with a stolen Lexus and knifing a subway passenger before being arrested in Times Square, police said.  

He was obviously a far-left liberal Democrat.  Conservative Republicans use guns. 

ROBERT GIBBS' NEW VOCATION

After several years of prepping for his new role while being Press Secretary to Barack Obama, Robert Gibbs announced this morning that he is under contract to write a new book for the publishers of GRIMM'S FAIRY TALES....

IS HE, OR ISN'T HE?

Is Mubarak going to resign or not? 


First he says one thing, then he says another.  Maybe he's related to Obama? 

NEW WASHINGTON SCANDAL

New York Representative Christopher Lee has abruptly and without explanation resigned his seat after two terms.  Word is oozing out of Washington that Lee, a Republican, was having "extra marital" activities.  And, I thought that only Democrats did that stuff.  (When are those assholes in Congress ever going to learn, anyway?) 

2011 NOBEL PEACE PRIZE WINNER

HOT DAMN! RUMMY'S BACK!

After a three hiatus, Donald Rumsfield is back on center stage, telling everyone how he was God's gift to the creation of the Iraqi war....

AUDACITY

El Presidente Obama has no business running this country and no reservations about telling Egypt how to run theirs.  

SUPER BOWL IDEA

Why not take the two worst teams in the NFL and have a BATTLE OF THE LOSERS?  (Obama vs. Mubarak?)

WAL-MART LOSING SHOPPERS

They've been dropping brand-named goods and changing things around and shoppers have started to go elsewhere.  One of these days, maybe they'll learn an adage that's over 200 years old:  "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." 

OBAMA'S NATIONAL PRAYER

Obama says he has accepted Jesus Christ and he believes God wants his ObamaCare because, churches can't do it all.  As for me, I'm still clinging on to my guns and religion. 

OBAMACARE IS DISCRIMINATORY

They are giving "waivers" to some companies which means some companies have to comply and others do not.  That's discrimination, pure and simple.  Any law has to apply equally to everyone. 

(Take me, for instance.  I'm a Republican.  I have to comply with the law.) 

SIMPLE SOLUTION TO NATIONAL DEBT

CUT THE DAMNED SPENDING!