QUESTION OF THE CENTURY

I wonder how many of the Republican candidates for the Presidency would refuse to show their birth certificate if they win the nomination? 

STERN LOOK

What the divers did when they found the wreckage of Obama's "Ship of State."

VACANCY

One in seven Las Vegas homes is now vacant.  But, don't worry, don't fret.  Quit yer bellachin' and stand up to march for four more years of great, terrific Presidential leadership from our pal and close personal friend, Barack Hades Obama. (Don't call him Hussein.  Don't ever mention that word in front of him.)

ADOLF HITLER

Spoke the same words to the oppressed Germans that Obama has just expressed to oppressed blacks.  Get off your duffs, forget your sorrows and follow me. 

CAIN SURGES AHEAD

Abel left at the starting gate.  
(Cain won 37% of the Florida straw vote, leaving Perry and Romney biting the dust.)

QUESTION OF THE DAY

Is there a Republican candidate who cannot beat Obama in 2012?


(I'll be back on the 26th.) 

OBAMA TO CUT DEFICIT!!!

Wanna try some of this new stuff I found in New Mexico? It's cool, man, cool. 

I'm on vacation until the 26th, but just had to pipe in. 

HEY THERE, BARACKO!

We know about the 2008 campaign, but just how much money have you collected from Solyndra for the 2012 campaign? 

DANCING WITH THE CZARS

As the fortunes of the occupant of the White House continue to fall apart, as scandals continue to appear and as the 2012 election campaign heats up and Democrats start scurrying for the woodwork, Obama himself is now relegated to being a genuine "Poll Dancer." 

BOLT YOUR DOORS!

Now that he knows no one watches him on the tube anymore, Obama is going to go out into the countryside and get in our faces? 

EXIT STRATEGY

Why izzit that every time he drops a bomb, 
Obama then leaves town? 

NOW THAT THE 10TH ANNIVERSARY IS OVER

We can get back to our normal and spiteful political hatred and rhetoric. 

BUSINESS

On this particular day, it would be a good time for us to pledge to take care of our own business here at home before we go sticking our noses into someone else's business abroad. 

LEAD-PIPE CINCH

Obama is promising the most-sweeping debt reduction plan of his Presidency.  
He's never had ANY debt reduction plan.  
Guess he wins on THIS statement. 

ABOUT THE TIMING OF THE PRESIDENT'S SPEECH...

He scheduled it before the NFL game because his advisers told him that, if his speech came on later and at the same time as the game, there would not be one soul in the country watching his speech except the poor politicos locked up with him under the Capitol dome.  

TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT

Of that great Presidential speech we've been waiting for a month to hear.  Gosh.  Gee whillikers.  (Maybe some UFO's will show up?) 

THE TRUTH BE KNOWN

Obama is the real son-of-a-bitch who needs to be taken out. 

WHAT'S IN A NAME?

CONGRESSMEN SHOULD WEAR UNIFORMS LIKE RACE CAR DRIVERS.  

Then we would know the names of their corporate sponsors. 

SINCE TODAY IS A HOLIDAY

I've decided not to zing that meat-head of a President. 

SUMMER IS OVER

Get out the hot dogs and hamburgers and chow down.  Drive the Fat Police nuts. 

UNLIKELY TO HAPPEN ON LABOR DAY

Obama will not have John Boehner over for a beer in the Rose Garden with Joe Biden. 

ONE WAY TO FREE UP PRISON SPACE

Speed up the processing of death sentences. 

PROSTITUTES GET METERED

Hookers in Europe now have to buy meter tickets in order to walk the streets.  (Maybe we should try the same thing with politicians?)