SUSPENSE

Today's the big Republican Primary vote in Florida.  I wonder if they're going to end up arguing over chads again. 

SHREWD NANCY

Pelosi picked the right district to live in.  No way could she get more than two votes in any other district in the country. 

THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL

Was the last time a politician said something nice about his opponent. 

HUMPTY DUMPTY

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
Humpty Dumpty has a great fall
And all of the king's horse and all of the king's men
Couldn't put Obama back together again. 

SPEAKING OF NEWT'S PROBLEMS WITH HIS EX-WIFE

What ever happened to Monica Lewinsky? 

MITT'S NEW NICKNAME

FANG. 

WHY6 WE HAVEN'T HEARD MORE ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT'S PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE

It was on NBC.  No one was watching. 

CARNIVAL CRUISE ANNOUNCEMENT

Ocean cruise ship for sale, cheap.  4,000 person capacity plus crew.  Captain included free.  Slight damage, needs TLC. 

JOE PATERNO

Joe has died and will most assuredly soon be in grave condition. 

WHAT DOROTHY DID NOT SEE IN KANSAS IN THE WIZARD OF OZ?

An oil pipeline. 

SEVEN INDICTED FOR INSIDER TRADING

None of which were Members of Congress because Members of Congress made themselves immune from the law.  (Correct, Madame Pelosi?) 

ROMNEY SHOULD NOT RELEASE HIS TAX RETURNS

Until Obama releases his birth certificate.

PRETEND YOU'RE ON A CRUISE....

Every time I see a picture of that cruise ship, laying on its side in total distress, I think of America's national debt. 

DEER IN THE HEADLIGHTS

I hate to say it, but Romney looked like one several times Monday night in the Fox Debates.  Other times, he looked a little sleazy, like a used car salesman. 

AND THEN THERE IS THE WOMAN WITH TWO VAGINAS

She's been on talk shows recently and no, her name is NOT Nancy Pelosi. 

CRUISING COMMENT

"I don't know about you, but I've got this sinking feeling..."

RICK PERRY ASKS

Are you better off now than you were $4 trillion ago? 

HOT SHOTS

KIM JONG UN, the new pipsqueak in Korea, fired off three missiles this last week.  He's waiting for Obama to go there and bow? 

OBAMA'S DEBT MANAGEMENT STRATEGY

Give me $1.2 trillion more.  NOW.

BARBOUR SHOP

I beg your pardon!

AWAY WITH YOU, YOU DOLTS!

Prince Romney speaking of the other pretenders to the throne after his New Hampshire triumph. 

EXIT STAGE LEFT

The Pentagon, thanks to Premier Obama. 

RICK PERRY'S MEMORY RETURNS

Now he remembers the three departments he wants to axe: Commerce, Energy and.. and.. and.. Education.  Was that right? 

DARTH VADER BURGERS?

The Belgian fast food chain, Quick, is going to be offering a "Darth Vader Burger."  And here I thought Barack was going to be offering burgers with his Rose Garden beers. 

AFTER IOWA: What Was That Song?

"Michelle, Michelle... bye, bye Michelle."

AMERICA'S MOST WANTED

Now on Lifetime on Friday nights.  FOX evidently decided that catching fugitives was no longer worth air time. 

THIS IS THE DAY WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR

The Iowa Caucus.  Certainly, this day will live in the annals of history.  Big whoopie!   Gosh.  Golly.