INFLAMMATORY RACIST RHETORIC

"Obama is to blame!"  

WHAT HAPPENED TO ATLANTIS...

SEQUESTRATION

HOW OBAMA IS DEALING WITH SEQUESTRATION

HOW TO ROB THE VICE PRESIDENT'S HOUSE

1. Make a little noise outside

2. Wait for the sound of two shotgun blasts

3. Have at it, my friend; the danger is gone. 

WHAT ARE THE ODDS...

Of Jodi Arias marrying Oscar Pistorius?  (I guess, maybe, it's a dead issue.) 

POINT TO PONDER

Two-thirds of all gun-related deaths in the United States are suicides. 

TRANSPARENT

Def: Having the quality of horse manure

Syn: El toro poopoo

Use: "I have the most transparent administration in history."

CHINESE HACKING U.S. BANKS

CHINK, CHINK

SEQUESTRATION

THE GREATEST LIE EVER TOLD
Der: Sequester
Synonym: Castrate
Use: "If those damned citizens won't do as I say, we'll sequester them."
Also, sequestration refers to separation or segregation, particularly of funds of money.
Use: "It's all about how to sequester the people from their money."  

WHY SO MANY SEX SCANDALS IN CONGRESS?

Look up sex congress on Google. 

THERE'S NO TRUTH TO THE RUMOR

That Barack Hussein Obama has sent in his application to be the next Pope. 

WHY IZZIT...

That the price of guns is now going up faster than the price of gold? 

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AN ASTEROID AND A HEMORRHOID?

AN ASTEROID CAN NEVER BECOME PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. 

SMELL THE FRESH BOUQUET

Take a Carnival cruise today. 

TODAY'S THE DAY!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, BARACK!

AMERICA LOVES YOU!

Yep, you can bet your sweet bippees on that one...

THIS VALENTINE'S DAY...

Don't forget to send Nancy Pelosi some dandelions. 

MANIFESTO

STATE OF THE UNION SPEECH

BRENNAN GRILLED

Over easy, no steak sauce. 

BREASTS, BUTTOCKS BANNED BY CBS FOR GRAMMY'S

There's going to be some really weird looking women at that event! 

BUSHES HACKED!!!

No, no, this is not a porno site.  The Bush emails have been hacked.  Word is they're blaming Obama. 

TOO BAD O.J. WASN'T AT THE SUPER BOWL

They wouldn't have run out of juice... (I don't think he was out driving around in his Bronco)

INFLATION ROARS

Those of us who shop once a month got a big shock this week.  The average cart full of groceries went from $200 to $285; the pet shop tab almost doubled from $$65 to $110.  That's outrageous AND they've both down-sized everything!  At the butcher shop, however, my normal monthly $80 tab only went up to $85.  From now on, I'm doing all of my shopping at the butcher shop. 

CAN SCREAMS FOR HELP!

The budget can has been kicked down the road so many times that both of its lids are falling off and it's full of dents and scars, barely clinging on to life. 

KING RICHARD'S BODY FOUND

I always thought he was buried in Yorba Linda, California, next to his wife Patricia. 

HAGEL

Must never have had a good Jewish bagel.

SURPRISING DISCOVERY ON GLOBAL WARMING

Scientists hired by an agency of the Obama Administration have proven beyond a reasonable doubt that guns cause global warming.     

THE BIG GAME

Obama vs. The Truth

MOVING TARGET

National debt. 

PELOSI PROVIDES RELIGIOUS ANSWER

She has proven beyond all reasonable doubt that politicians have no souls.