IF YOU WANT TO MAKE FRIENDS THIS NEW YEAR'S EVE

Stay at home.  

AND NOW... DEBBIE REYNOLDS

Will the world ever, ever be the same?  

CARRIE FISHER

The love of my life, off to fight another war. 

GREAT EXPECTATIONS

A  survey taken just before the holiday showed that 27% of Democrats said they expected to have a worse Christmas than last year.  Evidently, the other 73% were too busy packing for their move to Canada to be counted. 

HORRIBLE HOLIDAY IN CHAPPAQUA

WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE HILLARY IS HAVING FOR CHRISTMAS?

Turkey, of course, with a large slice of Benghazi humble pie for dessert, all washed down with a large glass of whine.  

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! 

SEE YOU TUESDAY!!!

I'M IN DEEP TROUBLE

I am a deplorable, angry white male.  

I'm also a gun owner and a member of the NRA.

I'm also a Bible-toting Christian who supports "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance.  

How could I ever have gone so wrong?  

BENGHAZI REVENGE

CLINTON LOSES IN HISTORIC ELECTION

ZSA ZSA GABOR

Zsa Zsa boom boom is now creating heaven in heaven.  

DR. HENRY HEIMLICH

He out-maneuvered us. 

ONLY 33 MORE DAYS LEFT...

Until Michelle leaves office!  

YOU'LL GET A BANG OUT OF THIS

A six-year-old gal in Oceanside, New York was expecting a toy for Christmas, but UPS delivered a .50 caliber semi-automatic rifle with scope instead.  I'll bet the fellow in Arizona who actually ordered the gun is going to get a huge surprise....

ABOUT HILLARY'S EMAILS

Do you suppose she also has a Yahoo account?  

MALE TRUMP VOTERS PREFER SUBMISSIVE RUSSIAN WOMEN

That's what VANITY FAIR is suggesting.  So... are they trashing male Trump voters or submissive Russian women? 

FIORINA HEADING FOR THE CABINET

The wine cabinet, that is.  

STAR WARS

The Trump Team is having problems lining up stars and celebrities to appear at his inauguration.  I guess they're much too busy packing for their move to Canada.  

FAKE NEWS

If we get rid of fake news, virtually every major newspaper and media outlet in the country will be out of business. 

WILL SOMEONE PLEASE START THE MUSIC?

Here we are, over a month since the election and Hillary still has her campaign committee and she's still taking on Trump.  I guess the problem is... it ain't over until the fat lady sings...

JOHN GLENN

I salute a legend and a hero.  

NEW BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA COMIC BOOK

PARDON ME...

Bowe Bergdahl.  

Why not?  We let Hillary off the hook, didn't we?  

GET THIS STRAIGHT

I didn't spend four years in the military defending our country and form of government to listen to some dumb-ass zombie liberal spouting off about what's wrong with it.  

IT'S NOT A BREATH OF FRESH AIR WAFTING THROUGH WASHINGTON...

It's a gale-force wind. 

OH MY GOD!!!

Trump spoke to the president of Taiwan!!! 

The end of the world is coming!!

What in God's name are we going to do???

That dirty, rotten demon!

LAUGH OF THE DECADE

Hillary Clinton for Director of Intelligence. 

JUST ANNOUNCED!!!

HILLARY FOR PRESIDENT

2020

TRUMP'S AMAZING

He's not even in office yet and he's already accomplished more than Obama has in eight years.  
 

THE FOX CONSPIRACY

Obama laments that the reason Hillary lost the election is that TV's in every bar and restaurant in the country were set to show FOX NEWS.  I guess that's an Executive Order he forgot to make... no watching of FOX NEWS is allowed in public.  

WHY IS IT...

That liberals are just bound and determined to continue making screaming, obnoxious assholes out of themselves until you are forced, against your best will and judgment, to shout out at the top of your lungs: "Either sit down, shut up and be civil or get the F*#k out of the country?!!"  
 

FIDEL CASTRO

GOOD RIDDANCE.  
 

ACCORDING TO THE LIBERALS...

Trump didn't win the election; Putin did.  

LEAVING TOWN FOR THE WEEKEND...

INVITE A CONGRESSMAN OVER FOR THANKSGIVING DINNER

Everyone likes to have a turkey!  

WHY IS IT?

Whenever you order something, like a TV for example, anything required to make use of it, such as a stand or a wall bracket... will always arrive a week after you get the main item?  

THEY KNOW EVERYTHING

You can trust a poet
To know it. 

THEY'RE WORKING ON OBAMA'S OFFICIAL PORTRAIT

THE SINGLE BEST REASON NOT TO PARDON HILLARY

Jesse Jackson is demanding Obama pardon her. 

GUESS WHO WANTS TO BE SECRETARY OF STATE?

TRUMP GETS READY TO TAKE OFFICE

ABOUT THOSE TRUMP DEATH THREATS

Since they're all coming from left-wing liberals, we know for certain that none of them have guns.  Real gun owners don't talk like that. 

IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED...

RIOT!

TAKE IT EASY ON HARRY REID...

Some people are simply born to be an asshole.  

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THE RADICAL LEFT-WINGERS

That a good and strong enema can't cure.  

JANET RENO

Good riddance. 

THE LEFT

The radical left in this country now has the unmitigated gall to protest and to demand that we apologize for electing Donald J. Trump to the White House?
 

BAD NEWS

The 2020 election cycle starts today.  

UNBELIEVABLE STRUGGLE IN THE VOTING BOOTH

It was all I could do to keep from writing in Alfred E. Neuman.  

TODAY

VOTE!

Failure to do so may literally be hazardous to your health care!

HILLARY'S DIRTY UNDERWEAR

SORRY...

THIS IMAGE HAS BEEN CENSORED BY THE DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE!  

 

HILLARY WANTS YOUR VOTE

NEXT SUPREME COURT JUSTICE?

 

HILLARY SAYS...

Hillary says Trump doesn't see women as full human beings.  

You're absolutely correct, Hillary; in your case, we don't.  

 

ATTACK OF THE SLIMEBALL

GOT SOME SPARE CHANGE?

Evidently you haven't received your now ObamaCare bill yet...

HILLARY, MY DEAREST...

Just WHO is deplorable NOW?  

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

ATTACK OF THE SLIME

OKAY ROMNEY, RYAN AND KRISTOL

WHO IN THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO VOTE FOR NOW?  
 

AN INTERESTING NOTE

Way back when, when Bill Clinton was under fire for forcing sex on various women, Hillary was quick to defend him, saying that his sexual exploits had nothing to do with his qualifications to be president.  Now, when she's seeking the presidency, she hollers that Donald Trump can't even look at another woman and be fit for office.  

Come on Hillary, you can't have it both ways.  Either divorce Bill or shut up about Donald.  

ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?

FOUR MORE YEARS!

HELL HATH NO FURY

Like a Clinton scorned. 
 

SODOM AND GOMORRAH

Little Rock and Chappaqua
 

WHY HILLARY CAN LIE ALL SHE WANTS

Nobody's listening. 

HILLARY'S OUTFIT

The white outfit Hillary wore at the debates the other night was symbolic of her virginity.  

HILLARY'S NOT A RACIST

She owns a Blackberry.  

HILLARY HAS THE CRABS

She crabs at Secret Service agents, she crabs at Republicans, she crabs at Trump, she crabs at Americans...

HILLARY R. CLINTON'S MIDDLE NAME

Revenge

ANOTHER SUBJECT WE'RE NOT ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT

"Yeah, I got him off.  So what?  Who cares?  We got the evidence thrown out, so he walked. (Laughing) I mean, sure... we knew he did it.  (Laughing) but it didn't matter." ~ Hillary Clinton, talking about getting a child rapist off Scott free in 1982. 

OBAMA GETS TOUGH

Barack Hussein issued an ultimatum the other day, warning The Donald that he'd better not dare to say anything... anything... bad about Michelle, or else there'll be hell to pay. 

I can just see it now... get out the red paint... Obama's going to draw a yuuuge red line around Trump Tower. Yes, siree Bob.  Maybe he'll order an I.R.S. audit.  Or, he could sick James Comey and Loretta Lynch on Trump.  Come on, Barack... your wife's a frump!  Whaddya really going to do about it?  Huh?  
 

HILLARY'S LATEST FARCE

She never admits to, explains or defends her many misdeeds.  Instead, she claims that they can't count against her because the Russians hacked her.  Gosh, just the other day, she swore up and down that her server was safe because the Russians never hacked her.  

"I DO NOT RECALL"

BERNIE GOT BURNED

SNIT

What Paul Ryan does for lunch.  

HILLARY'S BIGGEST FAN

INTEGRITY

Not one of Hillary's strong suits.  

THE DAY NATIVE AMERICANS DESPISE

Happy Columbus Day. 

THE NEW AMERICAN MORALITY

It's not okay for a presidential candidate 11 years ago to have used some locker room language in bragging about sexual exploits during a private conversation, supposedly unrecorded.  But it IS okay for a presidential candidate to conspire with the president, the attorney general, the director of the F.B.I., foreign governments and illegal contributors to cover up the facts about totally illegal and treasonable things.  

OBAMA, CLINTON, COMEY, LYNCH, KERRY, FBI

One big Washington cesspool of raw corruption sewage.  
 

BLACK HOLE

That dark spot way out in the middle of the universe where all of Hillary Clinton's emails go. 

LOUD-MOUTHED, RUDE, OBNOXIOUS TWIT

Tim Kaine, in the Tuesday night debate.  
 

HILLARY MUST HAVE A CLEAN MIND

She's always changing it.  
 

WHY IS IT?

Why is it that the Democratic Attorney General in the state of New York is shutting down the Trump Foundation, while the Clinton Foundation skates free?  
 

QUESTION OF THE YEAR

Just how much did Wells Fargo Bank contribute to the Clinton Foundation?

2016 BUSINESS OF THE YEAR AWARD

Wells Fargo Bank, N.A.

SHIMON PERES

Our country needs someone like you.  

 

WHY HILLARY SHOULD BE PRESIDENT

Maybe she'll bring back all of the White House silverware she stole.  
 

IN REGARDS TO TRUMP'S TAXES

Tell us what what happened in Benghazi,, Mrs. Clinton. 

ARNOLD PALMER

Keep on swingin'. 

NOVEMBER

One thing is certain: Hillary Clinton is undoubtedly the only person on the face of the earth who has the ability to do a worse job as president than Barack Hussein Obama.  
 

TWO BIG GAMES ON TONIGHT

The Atlanta Falcons vs. the New Orleans Saints

Hillary vs. The Donald

Don't you wonder who is going to make the first pass?  

 

THERE'S NO TRUTH TO THE RUMOR

That Donald Trump is buying out Brylcreem.  
 

REAL ESTATE PRICES TO TANK?

If Trump wins and all of those people who've been saying they'll move to Canada actually leave... real estate prices will hit the toilet. 

DEMOCRATS SHOULD GET RID OF THE MIDDLEMAN

Instead of running Hillary Clinton, why not just name George Soros to the job and cut out the middleman (woman)?  

IF BRINGING IN A BUNCH OF SYRIANS IS SUCH A GREAT IDEA...

Why doesn't Hussein move to Syria?

INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW...

What's the latest Skittlesbut?

CORRECT, HILLARY?

They say if you keep telling the same lies over and over again, pretty soon they become truth.  Is that correct, Hillary? 

I'M A DEPLORABLE

T.P.T.

The name of the Trans-Pacific Trade "deal," T.P.T., really should be shortened to just "T.P." because if it passes, that's what we're going to be... T.P.d     

WHY DIDN'T THEY TAKE HILLARY TO THE E.R.?

Because they already knew what her problem was and they didn't want an E.R. doctor or staff to release the news to the inquiring public.  The answer: Parkinson's Disease. 
 

ON A NEW NOTE...

The Samsung Galaxy 7 has now been officially recalled by the Consumer Product Safety Commission.  You can't hear me now. 

SHENANIGANS

 

Notice agent on left playing solitaire on his I-Phone...

THE DAY AFTER THE ELECTION

When the joke is on you...

ALEPPO

Isn't that short for "a leopard?"

ABOUT HILLARY'S "FLASHLIGHT"

The story circulating om the Internet is that a Black guy with a Diazapam pen has been constantly by Hillary's side.  The modified story, presented by her campaign over the weekend, is that the Pen" is actually a flashlight.  

Okay, so why does this guy carry it by his side in broad daylight?  And, why, when Hillary starts to have an "episode," does he jam her in the arm with it? 

Okay... maybe he's trying to make her see the light? 

NEVER FORGET

IT'S PUTRID

We don't have enough money to keep our military strong or to feed and shelter our homeless, but we have enough enough money to sneak $33 billion to Iran so they can build missiles, advance their nuclear program and bring us down.  

If that's not treason, what is?  
 

YOU SAY "NEVER TRUMP?"

So... Tell me all about Hillary Clinton's long list of redeeming values...

HILLARY IS FULLY CAPABLE OF DEFENDING AMERICA

Just like she was fully capable of defending those four poor souls in Benghazi. 

POPE DECLARES MOTHER TERESA TO BE A SAINT

Why not Hillary Clinton? 

HILLARY'S NEW PLANE

IT'S LABOR DAY

Do you suppose they'll take a day off from murders in Chicago?  

HILLARY'S PLANS FOR LABOR DAY

In honor of Labor Day, Hillary is not going to give a press conference.  

PARADOX

So, Trump went to Mexico, drank the water and Clinton got diarrhea?  

ALIEN SIGNALS

Scientists are perplexed at receiving a mysterious signal from outer space.  Further investigation reveals that it may be some of Hillary Clinton's deleted Emails returning from cyberspace.  

GENE WILDER

Willy Wonka has died, but Billy Clinton lives on.  

ATTILA THE HUN

Hillary the Klingon.  

ANTHONY WEINER

The epitome of dangling participles.  

STAR SPANGLED BANNER

I'm not standing for the Star Spangled Banner because, I don't like Hillary Clinton.  

VAST, RIGHT WING CONSPIRACY EXPLODING!!!

Poor Hillary: It now includes not only Republicans and Conservatives, but Russians, Brexit, Alex Jones... Israel... they're ALL against her! 
 

ISLAM'S WHORE

Catch a load of this: (Click here)
 

BYE BYE BARACK?

Trump is going to get rid of illegal aliens...

I WONDER IF

Obama would allow a strange man claiming to be a woman into his daughters' bathrooms at the White House? 

I'M IN FAVOR OF GUN CONTROL... SOMETIMES

If 52% of the murders in the country are committed by blacks and only 13% of the population is black, it sounds to me like we should take all guns away from all blacks.  

Whadya think about that idea, Barack? 

SPEAKING FROM HER HEART

If you elect me president, Bill and I will close down our Clinton Foundation.  If not, then we will continue to rape and plunder. 

WHY TRUMP DRAWS BIGGER CROWDS

It's part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.  

THE GREAT FLOOD

There are news stories circulating about how they have proof of Noah's great flood.  I don't know what they're so excited about; there's a great flood every Saturday night when Hillary climbs into the bathtub. 

DOES HILLARY HAVE BATS IN THE BELFRY?

She and her doctors keep saying she's in fine physical health, but nobody's talking about her mental health. 

ENEMA

There's nothing wrong with the press or the media that a good, strong enema can't cure.  

ANOTHER SONG AND DANCE ROUTINE

Congress is going after Hillary for lying under oath.  

Yawn.  

IF IT TALKS LIKE A DUCK AND IT WALKS LIKE A DUCK...

It must be Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.  

 

IT'S IRONIC

Obama and Clinton are responsible for the establishment and growth of I.S.I.S., but our anger is against the messenger. 
 

WISHFUL THINKING

If you like Obama, think of how great it would be to have Genghis Khan in the White House.  

NUDE PHOTO OF HILLARY CLINTON

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH

Hillary is on so many drugs that she cannot be held responsible for anything.  The press all works for George Soros.  Trump has to come to grips with the realization that the country wants and needs a leader, not an entertainer.  Obama is the epitome of evil.  The country is justifiably falling apart, having strayed far away from the religious principles upon which our nation was founded.  Greed, crime, drugs and corruption are the buzzwords of the day. 

We are all about to fall off the edges of the precipice into the deep, dark, abysmal cavern of depravity. 

Have a nice day.  

PROLIFIC WRITER

Can you believe that Hillary Clinton sent some 33,000 Emails talking only about Chelsea's wedding and her yoga classes?  33,000?  

No wonder she never got anything accomplished! 

ATTENTION ALL REPUBLICAN CONGRESSIONAL MEMBERS

If you back Trump in any way, you can kiss your favorite House and Senate committee assignments goodbye.  We don't give a damn what the people want. 

That's the way the game is played in Washington.  
 

PETE FOUNTAIN

We'll miss your Sweet Clarinet.  

 

NICELY SAID

Screw you, you pious bastard... and the lizard you rode in on.  I don't HAVE to be politically correct.  
 

MY PICK FOR PRESIDENT

IS 0BAMA AN ILLEGAL ALIEN?

TO HECK WITH THE $400 MILLION RANSOM DEAL...

I want to know more about the sex scandal at FOX NEWS!!!

DEJA VU, ALL OVER AGAIN

SNOW WHITE

AS INNOCENT AND PURE

AS THE FRESHLY FALLEN SNOW

Just ask James Comey

EINSTEIN'S THEORY OF CLINTON VOTERS

SHE'S JUST ONE OF US

WHAT ABOUT THOSE 3:00 AM PHONE CALLS?

Hillary's not talking about them the same way she did in her last election.  

Maybe Benghazi had something to do with that?  
 

GETTING EVEN

Now that I've won, all of you Bernie Sanders

 supporters can kiss my ass. 

AMERICA'S ILLUSTRIOUS PRESS AND MEDIA

If Donald Trump dropped a breadcrumb in an empty field, they'd claim that he'd dropped a nuclear weapon on the Mexicans.    

If Hillary Clinton, on the other hand, let go with a horrible and obnoxious fart in a crowded elevator they'd be congratulating her on her choice of perfume.  

HILLARY PLANS HER MOVE INTO THE WHITE HOUSE

D.N.C.

Isn't that some type of medical procedure? 
 

HILLARY'S PICK FOR VICE PRESIDENT

BYE BYE, NOW

IT WOULDN'T SURPRISE ME...

If Cruz endorses Clinton.  

WATCH OUT FOR HILLARY CLINTON

She plans to raise Kaine....

ROGER AILES

Bye, bye now.  
 

TED CRUZ' FAMILY PORTRAIT

GARRY MARSHALL

May you have plenty of pretty women and happy days forever. 

AFGHAN REFUGEE ATTACKS TRAIN TRAVELERS WITH AXE

An Afghan refugee, shouting "Allahu Akbar," attacked train-goers in Germany with an axe, injuring four.  

Axes are to blame.  Ban all axes.  

MEET MIKE PENCE

And his brother Sus....
 

IF POLYGAMY IS ILLEGAL IN THE UNITED STATES...

How can Muslims be receiving food stamps and welfare when they have four wives?  
 

YES, TRUMP HAS PLENTY OF MONEY

I sent him $50 as a contribution to his campaign.  Since then, he has spent $55.44 in mail trying to get me to donate more...

 

RUTH BADER GINSBERG (VER 2)

Fang 

TRUST ME

Given Hillary's track record with the Clinton Foundation and our national secrets, would you deposit your paycheck in a bank owned by her?  

Then, why would you trust her with being in charge of the U.S. Treasury? 

RUTH BADER GINSBERG

Not on Trump's short list for the VP slot...

OBAMA'S NEW JOB

Anyone who thinks Obama is going to fade off into the sunset like a bad fart after he leaves office has another thing coming... Hillary is going to name him to the Supreme Court. 

SO WHAT IF HILLARY LIED TO CONGRESS?

They're jot going to do anything about it, anyway.  

REFLECTIONS

If Obama and Clinton want to know the real causes of lawlessness in our country, they should go and look in mirrors.  When is the last time either one of them obeyed  a law?  

THE SKY IS FALLING! THE SKY IS FALLING!

Donald Trump is coming!  God forbid some of those jackassess in Washington might have to straighten up their acts!!!

OBAMA SPEWS FORTH AGAIN

Black cops get killed in Falcon Heights, Minnesota and Baton Rouge, Louisiana and Obama blames all cops for being racist.  A Black, evidently a nutcase, kills five cops in Dallas and Obama blames guns.  

ABOUT THOSE WORDS

It is interesting to note that, in the conversation of the day, the words "intent," "gross," "negligence" and "law" are abundantly used, but the words "ethics" and "honorable" are ominously missing.  

NO MORE BREASTS

We can no longer discuss the subject of breasts.  The periodical Pediatrics reports: "It may be 'natural' to breastfeed, concludes the treatise, but the authors warn against use of the term by government officials or doctors because it might inadvertently support biologically deterministic arguments about the roles of men and women in the family, for example, that women should be the primary caretakers of children."

Pretty soon, they'll be removing all sex organs at birth so we can all be politically correct sexless zombies.  

 

I WONDER...

If the condescending, elitist, establishment politicians have even the slightest idea of how ticked off the American public is at them? 

I DON'T KNOW WHICH TO FEAR MORE...

A massive terrorist attack in one of our major cities or

Hillary Clinton in the White House. 

A NEW INDEPENDENCE DAY IS COMING

This one will be on November 8, 2016.  

 

ATTENTION ALL POLITICIANS

We, the people, are angry, and we're going to do something about it.  

 

BRITAIN'S NEW PRIME MINISTER?

BLUEBIRDS OF HAPPINESS

HOW TO DEAL WITH TRUMP

Let's invalidate all primary votes.  
 

DAVID CAMERON

Bye-bye now.  The international revolution of the people has begun. 

WAH!

Obama Calls Supreme Court Immigration Decision 'Heartbreaking'

ANGER MANAGEMENT 101

Obama has so much anger, hatred and contempt... his hemorrhoids must be killing him.  

CENSORSHIP

Political correctness.

OBAMA'S EPITAPH

It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame. 

OBAMA THE SICKO

So, if Obama succeeds in taking away all of the so-called "assault" rifles from all of the law-abiding citizens in the country, only the bad guys will still have them.  Then what?  

Remember: these words come from the same jackass who told us that ObamaCare would reduce annual insurance premiums by $2,500 per family.  

CALLING A SPADE A SPADE

When in comes to terrorism, it's the MUSLIMS who are the problem... NOT the gun owners of America.  

BARACK OBAMA: THE EPITOME OF COWARDICE

He would rather try to beat the peace-loving gun owners of America into submission as opposed to fighting deadly Islamic terrorism.  

HOW OBAMA IS GOING TO DEFEAT TERRORISM

HE'S GOING TO GET YOUR GUNS

OBAMA PROVES ONCE AND FOR ALL: HE HAS NO COMMON SENSE

“The notion that the answer to this tragedy would be to make sure that more people in a nightclub are similarly armed to the killer, defies common sense,” he said. 

To the contrary, Barry: Orlando proves the point that if you take away our guns, we're going to get shot.  

OBAMA IS SOOOO ANGRY AT US

BECAUSE WE HAVE THE

AUDACITY 

TO CALL HIM OUT

FOR WHAT HE IS

 

AND NOW, MEET DONALD TRUMP'S RUNNING MATE