TURN PYONGYANG INTO GLASS

53% of Americans want it to happen.  

DUMB SHIT IN WASHINGTON

An exciting new autobiography by Paul Ryan.  

 

SHUT THE GOVERNMENT DOWN?

Nah, let's not shut the whole thing down.  Just shutting down Congress and furloughing the whole damned bunch of them sounds fine to me.  What a waste of time and money they've turned out to be...

FRENCH ELECTIONS

Who in their right mind would ever want to be in charge of that country, anyway? 

Oh yeah... I forgot about Hillary, Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi.  
 

KIM JONG-UN THREATENS TO SINK U.S. AIRCRAFT CARRIER

SPEAKING OF BILL O'REILLY'S ALLEGED SEXCAPADES...

I wonder whatever happened to Monica's dress?  

MEDIA ANNOINTS 2020 DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATE

Chelsea Victoria Clinton

 

AMERICA'S CESSPOOL OF IGNORANCE

U.C. Berkeley

WHAT DO HILLARY AND KIM JONG-UN HAVE IN COMMON?

They both go absolutely ape-shit when they don't get their way.  

THEFT OF GEORGIA ELECTION EQUIPMENT

We all know that the Russians did it.  The only question is, were they working in conjunction with the Democrats or the Republicans? 

KIM JONG-UN'S ERECTILE DISFUNCTION

Failure to launch. 
 

FLY THE FRIENDLY SKIES OF UNITED...

 

EASTER BUNNY IN HOSPITAL

He was wearing a Make America Great Again cap in San Francisco when it happened...

EVEN IF YOU LIKE SEX...

Now is not the time to fly United.  

WHY?

Why do the words "corrupt" and "politician" usually appear in the same sentence?  

MALIBU CLIFF COLLAPSE

Several hundred feet of seaside cliff collapsed Monday in Malibu.  

No Hollywood celebrities were injured or killed; they had all moved to Canada after Trump was elected. 

ASTONISHING EVIDENCE SHOWS...

More people die every hour during a rerun of Gunsmoke than died during an hour of the attack on the Syrian air base.  

DID YOU SEE...

Did you see the throng of Democrats gathered to congratulate Neil Gorsuch as the new Supreme Court Justice?  

Neither did I. 

NEW NAME FOR DEMOCRAT PARTY

A.P.A.

That's short for Anarchy Party of America
 

FOX NEWS' SHEPARD SMITH MAKES FOOL OF HIMSELF

In the midst of reporting on the ongoing U.S. attack on the Syrian air base, Smith lambasted Trump for authorizing the attack, dragging out old Trump tweets from years before when Trump was against any U.S.. intervention in Syria.  Unfortunately for Smith, Retired General Jack Keane was on the scene and he let Smith have it... with both barrels.  

Thank you, General, for standing up for what's right. 
 

NEIL GORSUCH

Here comes the Judge.

DON RICKLES

One of the greatest comedians ever to grace our shores, now on his way to unleash his timeless insults in heaven.  For the first time in millennia, even God will soon be laughing.  

ABOUT THAT SYRIAN CHEMICAL ATTACK

Do you suppose Trump will draw a red line in the sand and forget about it? 

WHERE'S THERE SMOKE...

There's Rice.  

DUMBED DOWN POLLS

Has anybody ever conducted a poll among people who were actually born in the United States about anything?  And... if not, why not? 

TOO BAD WE CAN'T PUT POLITICIANS IN THERE

IRRELEVANT

Chuck Schumer Democrats.

IT'S NANCY PELOSI'S BIRTHDAY!

APRIL FOOLS DAY!