BALLS

Judging by how they've been acting lately, I'd definitely say that NFL balls are not under-inflated this season. 

GRANDIOSE

Obama spent about $106,000,000 on his lavish vacations...much, much more than any other president. 

How many homeless people would that feed or shelter? 

FUNCTIONALLY ILLITERATE

All of Congress.  

I RESPECT MY COUNTRY

A HELLUVA LOT MORE THAN I RESPECT THE NFL. 

 

UNDER NEW OWNERSHIP

Since Republicans don't seem to want to repeal and replace ObamaCare like they've been promising to do for years, I guess they now own it.  

WHY HILLARY CLINTON AND KATHY GRIFFIN ARE ALIKE

They both think they're relevant
They're both psychotic
They both blame Trump.

I WONDER IF TRUMP IS RESPONSIBLE FOR

The earthquake in Mexico? 

Psst!  Maybe it was another Russian conspiracy...

IF THE NFL WON'T STAND BEHIND PATRIOTIC AMERICA...

Why should American's patriots stand behind the NFL?  

AND AS FOR THE EMMIES...

Piss on them.  

YES, TRUMP IS CAUSING HURRICANES

He's also got Washington buzzing like a bee's nest.  

ANOTHER NEW MEMBER FOR THE KATHY GRIFFIN CLUB

CNN's Anthony Bourdain, who says Trump should be poisoned.  

THE EPITOME OF DELUSIONAL

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE WORSE THAN HURRICANE IRMA?

THE BIGGEST PROBLEM OF THE CENTURY

Hillary still thinks she's relevant. 

JESSE JACKSON: GOD ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH

The "Reverend" Jesse Jackson has proclaimed President Donald Trump to be banned from heaven.  

HOW WEAK ARE WE?

That's what Kim Jong-Un seems sound and determined to find out.  

So far, he's surrounded himself with nuclear bombs and intercontinental ballistic missiles and he's threatened to blow us and our allies to smithereens and all we've ever done is to call for meetings to talk about it.  

Speaking of the dog wagging the tail... 

WHY, WHY, WHY?

Congress is back in session?  What good are they?  

MY SINGLE BIGGEST FEAR

Given the way things have been in this country lately, I am desperately afraid that if I extend a helping hand out to the victims of disaster, it'll get bitten off and I'll be called a racist.