If You Elect Me As Your President, I Promise:

1. I'll take the handcuffs off the troops so we can kick shit and win the war in Iraq and get them home.

2. I will not appoint anyone to a cabinet-level post or to a Federal judgeship who is not fully qualified.

3. I will review and improve the ways that people can immigrate legally, and I will do everything within my power to prevent illegal immigration.

4. I will push to remove the Federal income tax and to replace it with a modified consumption tax so that the poor are not penalized.

5. I will work to restore State's rights and control over their own destinies.

6. I will refrain from interfering in the affairs of other countries, unless invited or unless they absolutely endanger the security of the nation.

7. I will support Freedom OF Religion and do everything possible to prevent those who would impose their atheism on our nation.

8. I will support anti-abortion measures except in cases of rape, incest or endangerment to the life of the mother.

9. I will pro-actively work to reduce the size of the Executive Branch of the Federal Government.

10. I will do everything within my power to encourage family values.

P.S. I'm not running.

ZING!