TONIGHT'S FIGHT CARD

These three 10-rounders would fill any stadium in the country:

• "Packhorse" Perry vs "Mitt the Mitt" Romney
• "Shooter" Cheney vs "Petty" Powell
• "Lucky" Limbaugh vs "Bumbling Barry" Obama

Bring out the ring girls and the beer.  

GALL, TEMERITY AND OTHER ADJECTIVES

There's Congress, mired in a nation with high unemployment, unable to balance a budget or to stop spending our money or to decrease the debt and... they want a raise. 

Please pass the gray poop on. 

JUST THINK...

Labor Day will seen be here and gone and we can get back to listening to Obama's speeches again. 

THEN THERE WAS THE BORDER PATROL AGENT...

Who put his wife on the terrorist watch list.  (Really, it's for real.) 

WHY DIDN'T THEY NAME IT HURRICANE BARACK?

HE'S a genuine blow hard. 

IRENE COULD BE OUR SAVIOR

She could clean all of the rubbish out of Washington. 

THE PROBLEM WITH A BORDER FENCE

By the time we get a fence built along the Mexico border, all of the Mexicans will be living in the United States. 

EARTHQUAKE AND IRENE COULD FINISH OFF U.S. ECONOMY

According to Obama, the  Japanese Tsunami adversely affected our economic recovery.  As did the early Arab spring, high oil prices and the refusal of states to endorse ObamaCare.  Now, we have two natural catastrophes on the heels of each other: the East Coast earthquake and hurricane Irene.  That should just about do us in, but you can get lessons on speaking Chinese at a discount at Harvard, where Obama studied. 

OBAMA THINKS HE'S DOING A GREAT JOB ON ECONOMY

71% of Americans disagree.  29% are Kenyan nationals.

CHARLIE "WRANGEL'S" NEW LOVE INTEREST

Laura Ingraham.  (They fight like they've been married for years....)

SURELY HE JESTS

Barack says, "Think how bad things would have been without me!"

LEGAL WAY TO CUT YOUR ELECTRIC BILL IN HALF!!!

Turn your electricity off from 12 Noon to 12 Midnight. 

PRESIDENTIAL AURA

Obama fiddles around on vacation while America's economy burns. 

OBAMA TAKES A VACATION

Well-deserved, certainly.  Look at all he's done for the nation; he's done so well, he should take a 16-month vacation instead of just 10 days. 

OBAMA CHANGES HIS VOTE

It used to be that he voted in the Senate, "Present."  
Now, he votes in the White House, "Absent."

QUESTION OF THE YEAR

Will Barack Obama provide a legitimate birth certificate before he runs in the next election? 

OBAMA'S BUS TOUR

Gosh, that's just like Sarah Palin's and Michele Bachmann's bus tours.  Now, isn't that sweet?  (You mean he's 50 years old and this is his first time on a bus?)

TIM PAWLENTY DROPS OUT

Only 143,773 to go!

PERMANENT VACATION

That's exactly what Congress and the President need. 

DON'T YOU JUST LOVE THOSE BRITISH NEWSCASTERS?

Talking about the Democrat Potty and the Republican Potty? 

I COULD NOT HAVE SAID IT BETTER

"Our government; what a sad thing to watch." ~ Alan K. Simpson

A NEW TRUTH ABOUT AMERICA

Kenyan economics do not work in the United States. 

DON'T BLAME ME!

Blame S and P!  Blame the Tea Parties!  Blame the Republican minority!  Eat your can of peas and don't blame me! 

STOCKS FOR SALE

Cheap!  (Buy 20 shares, get an acre of land in the Florida Everglades for free!)

OPEN LETTER TO BARBARA BOXER

Thank you so very much for voting for the recent increase in the debt limit and stalling the real solution to the problem for another 18 months.  Had you and the 73 other Senators not done so, S and P would not have downgraded America's credit rating, something all of us will cherish and remember forever.  

NOW IS A GOOD TIME...

To stay out of the stock market.  And no, don't buy U.S. Savings Bonds, either. 

S&P DOWNGRADE

Good old Barry has pulled off another one.  Change.  Change you can believe in.  This truly may be the real beginning to the end.  

ON MY WAY TO GUANTANAMO

I've been labeled as a Tea Party Terrorist.  How they're going to fit 25 million of us in there remains t be seen.  Maybe I'll pick up a hostage or two on the way there.   

WHY CONGRESS LEFT WASHINGTON

39 million pounds of turkey have been recalled. 

BAD NEWS IN BLACK ROCK

I was investigating Ancestry.com and found out that my mother had five children and none lived...

FINE PRINT

If you thought ObamaCare was bad, wait until you read the fine print on THIS Bill!

STEPPING UP TO THE PLATE

Is not within a Member of Congress' job description.