IT'LL BE A HAPPY NEW YEAR

Except for Kim Jong un.  

ABSURDITY 101

The Democrats and the media, having been outwitted, outsmarted and out-maneuvered at every turn in 2017, are now crowing that they are going to take back the House in 2018 and impeach Trump.  

Won't things be so much better with Hillary finally in charge?  

1436 YEARS AGO ON THIS DAY...

Nothing happened. 

WILL SANTA COME DOWN YOUR CHIMNEY?

If you're expecting Santa to come down your chimney this year, you'd better have plenty of liability insurance and a good attorney.  

See you next Tuesday.  

WOULD YOU BELIEVE?

With the tax-reform bill in action, with North Korean and Iranian nuclear programs on the burner, with a bad train wreck in Washington... THE HILL'S White House Press reporter Jordan Fabian wanted to know whether or not Trump believes in UFO's.  

They're all just so bone-headed, aren't they? 

JASON CHAFFETZ SAYS JESS SESSIONS HAS TO GO

Will someone please tell them where the men's room is? 

U.N. SAYS U.S. MUST RETRACT NAMING JERUSALEM AS ISRAEL'S CAPITOL

Yeah, I think we should, too... right after they shut down Iran's and North Korea's nuclear and missile programs. 

DEMS GOING TO TAKE THE STREETS

Walter Shaub, the former director of the U.S. Office of Government Ethics, is warning people to stock up on portable phone chargers, warm clothes, and gear needed for "when we take the streets."  

Hopefully, they'll fix the damned potholes they left behind.  

DISAPPEARING ACT

It appears not only the halls of Congress will be half empty, but that Hollywood and the major networks are all going to be scrambling to find new employees before this sex scandal business is done and over with.  

GET THE MONEY BACK FIRST

Authorities are contemplating deporting a Ghanian who has plead guilty to over $300,000 in food stamp fraud.  Yeah... send her home... with the money.  

ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING

The decorum...or lack of it... in the White House Press Room.  

MITT ROMNEY

Mitt Romney thinks he has earned the right to be god of the Republican Party.  

TOMORROW

Here comes the Judge.  

IF I WAS A RESPECTABLE MEMBER OF THE FBI...

I'd quit.  

ENEMIES OF THE STATE

The press and the media.  

BIG BAD JOHN BITES THE DUST

Bye, bye now, "Mister" Conyers.  

THE MORE I HEAR ABOUT THIS "NEW" TAX BILL...

The more I think it's a bigger piece of crap than their proposed repeal and replacement of ObamaCare was.  

What a downright, dirty farce.  

I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE OR ANYTHING ANYMORE...

Whenever you reach that point, you have become a full-fledged, qualified Member of Congress.  

JIM NEIGHBORS

I don't care if he was gay.  He was a terrific actor and a great singer... gone off to join the Marine Corps of the sky.  

WHO IN THE HELL IS MATT LAUER?

Just askin'...

POCAHONTAS

Comparing Elizabeth Warren to Pocahontas is such a major insult to Native Americans.  

I HEAR...

They're planning on hanging a red light out on the steps of the nation's Capitol... at our cost, of course.   

A QUESTION NO ONE CAN ANSWER...

Can you think of anybody in Congress who does their job? 

CHARLES MANSON CROAKS

Now we can truly have a HAPPY THANKSGIVING!  

MEL TILLIS

SO LONG THERE, M-M-M-MEL!

HAPPY TRAILS!

WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL OF THAT MONEY...

In the Clinton Foundation?  

Hmm?  

ONE WAY TO DRAIN THE SWAMP

One way to clean out Congress and start fresh would be to require everyone who has ever done something unethical to resign....

WHY IS IT?

The people who are quick to demand Judge Roy Moore be hung by his toenails in the public square would defend Bill and Hillary Clinton for ever and ever? 

POISON PILL

The Senate wants to add an amendment to their proposed tax reform bill that would end the individual mandate of ObamaCare.  Since their plans to repeal ObamaCare failed miserably, it's obvious this is just a ploy to torpedo tax reform.  

ROGER GOODELL

He must be a Democrat; he figures the more lousy the job he does, the more he should get paid.  

COCKROACHES

Now, they're going after Judge Roy Moore.  

LOATHING 101

There is finally someone who is hated among Democrats more than Donald J. Trump.  Her name is Donna Brazile.  

ED GILLESPIE

Sooner or later, the Republicans are going to have to come to grips with the fact that Americans are sick and tired of "the establishment."  

DONNA BRAZILE

And now the fat lady sings...

SAY AGAIN?

So, the Air Force gave the Texas shooter a dishonorable discharge and didn't report his background and the shooter was therefore allowed to buys guns.  That happened during the Obama Administration and now Obama is again calling for gun control?  

WHO CARES WHAT THE DAMNED BUSHES THINK?

Neither one of them dumped on Obama, but they have absolutely no compunction about dumping on Trump?  At least we now know for certain what side of the political spectrum they adhere to.  

GOVERNMENT'S NEW TAX PLAN

DEAD RATS

Dead rats, rotten chicken and politicians smell about the same. 

LAME, LAME, LAME

Special Counsel Robert Mueller was having a particularly bad week, with all of the mess in the Clinton Foundation, Russian collusion with the Democrats and a growing chorus wondering why he has been spending so much money on trying to get evidence on a Trump-Russian collusion that obviously doesn't exist.  Just as everybody involved was starting to agree that he should be fired... his team pops up with one of the weakest indictments ever to be made in Washington history.  

Nice try, Robert.  Hava  banana. 

PERPLEXITY 101

Scientists say they can find no reason why the universe should exist.  Therefore, you and I are only figments of our own imaginations.  

And your vote in the 2016 elections did not count?  

 

SUING WASHINTON

There's a rumor floating around that Bethesda, Maryland, may be getting ready to sue Washington, DC, over the stench of the swamp blowing to the northwest.  

FATS DOMINO

Another legendary performer leaves us.  Where are all of these greats going?  Could it be to Blueberry Hill?  

CRIME PAYS

The IRS has rehired 213 former employees who were dismissed after being found guilty of gross misconduct. 
 

CARTER DISGRACES DEMOCRATS

Former President Jimmy Carter says Obama made a ton of promises that he never followed through on, that he did not vote for Hillary, there is no Russian-Trump collusion and that the press has been meaner toward Trump than any other president.  

Ewww!  

SOMEHOW I DON'T THINK...

That robots will ever demand to be paid $15.00 an hour.  

OUR GOVERNMENT IS INFESTED WITH...

Cockroaches, rats and snakes.  

I'M BEGINNING TO WONDER...

Who's side Jeff Sessions is really on.  

I THINK COLIN KAEPERNICK...

Wants Roger Goodell's job. 

BUY STOCK IN TROJANS

The Boy Scouts are now going to accept girls.  

THERE'S NO TRUTH TO THE RUMOR...

That Clayton Moore has been called to testify before Congress about the unmasking scandal.  
 

KAEPERNICK TRIES TO BLACKMAIL AMERICA

Knowing just how valuable a football player he is and just how much sports fans are demanding that he come back onto the field, Colin Kaepernick has said he will stand for the National Anthem if he is allowed to play in the NFL again.   

 

PAUL RYAN CAN BE REPLACED

ON THE CALENDAR

Have you notice that charities send you their calendars earlier and earlier every year, looking for donations?  I got one from one organization in June for 2018, so I sent them a check.  A week later, I received their 2019 calendar... 

POINT TO PONDER

If guns were illegal at the time, the American Revolution could never have occurred.  

IT'S COLUMBUS DAY

Let's go sailing.  

AS A RESULT OF THE LAS VEGAS SHOOTING...

Rumor has it that California plans to enact a new law stating that it is illegal to have any gun within 1,500 yards of another gun.  

THERE'S NO TRUTH TO THE RUMOR

That O.J. Simpson's fans are presenting him with a new white Ford Bronco. 
 

BYE, BYE HUGH HEFNER

He made a clean breast of it.  

REGURGITATION 101

Like a bad recording in an endless dream, over and over and over again:  "We're going to repeal and replace ObamaCare."  

It's worse than being stuck at the bottom of  an empty bottle of cheap gin.  

WET BAG

Collectively speaking, this Congress can't legislate its way out of a wet paper bag. 

BALLS

Judging by how they've been acting lately, I'd definitely say that NFL balls are not under-inflated this season. 

GRANDIOSE

Obama spent about $106,000,000 on his lavish vacations...much, much more than any other president. 

How many homeless people would that feed or shelter? 

FUNCTIONALLY ILLITERATE

All of Congress.  

I RESPECT MY COUNTRY

A HELLUVA LOT MORE THAN I RESPECT THE NFL. 

 

UNDER NEW OWNERSHIP

Since Republicans don't seem to want to repeal and replace ObamaCare like they've been promising to do for years, I guess they now own it.  

WHY HILLARY CLINTON AND KATHY GRIFFIN ARE ALIKE

They both think they're relevant
They're both psychotic
They both blame Trump.

I WONDER IF TRUMP IS RESPONSIBLE FOR

The earthquake in Mexico? 

Psst!  Maybe it was another Russian conspiracy...

IF THE NFL WON'T STAND BEHIND PATRIOTIC AMERICA...

Why should American's patriots stand behind the NFL?  

AND AS FOR THE EMMIES...

Piss on them.  

YES, TRUMP IS CAUSING HURRICANES

He's also got Washington buzzing like a bee's nest.  

ANOTHER NEW MEMBER FOR THE KATHY GRIFFIN CLUB

CNN's Anthony Bourdain, who says Trump should be poisoned.  

THE EPITOME OF DELUSIONAL

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE WORSE THAN HURRICANE IRMA?

THE BIGGEST PROBLEM OF THE CENTURY

Hillary still thinks she's relevant. 

JESSE JACKSON: GOD ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH

The "Reverend" Jesse Jackson has proclaimed President Donald Trump to be banned from heaven.  

HOW WEAK ARE WE?

That's what Kim Jong-Un seems sound and determined to find out.  

So far, he's surrounded himself with nuclear bombs and intercontinental ballistic missiles and he's threatened to blow us and our allies to smithereens and all we've ever done is to call for meetings to talk about it.  

Speaking of the dog wagging the tail... 

WHY, WHY, WHY?

Congress is back in session?  What good are they?  

MY SINGLE BIGGEST FEAR

Given the way things have been in this country lately, I am desperately afraid that if I extend a helping hand out to the victims of disaster, it'll get bitten off and I'll be called a racist.  

IT'S TOO DAMNED BAD

Hurricane Harvey should have hit Berkeley instead.  

VIOLENCE IS FINE WITH ME

I mean... today's media barely reports on it and certainly does not investigate its causes.  So, it must be acceptable.  

REMOVE MARTN LUTHER KING STATUES

His niece, Elvada, is an ardent supporter of Donald Trump.  His statues must go.  

I'M A RACIST

I still believe in America.  

YES, I'LL BOYCOTT NFL GAMES

As long as they tolerate any player sitting down during the national anthem, I'm not interested in watching their UN-American activities.   

FOX NEWS COULD GO OUT OF BUSINESS

Steve Bannon is ready to start a Breitbart News network that will get back to the business of broadcasting conservative news... a market FOX is leaving wide open.

 

A PARTY OF ILL REPUTE

Democrats.  

TODAY COULD BE A BAD DAY

When it gets really dark and the eclipse is full, will Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer grow fangs and start to drool green goop on the bodies of their conservative victims?  

Who knows?  Only The Shadow knows... 

 

THE WORLD WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER WITHOUT...

People.  
 

WOODSHED

Somebody needs to take the little midget from North Korea out to the woodshed and teach him how to behave in public.  

IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE TO ME

Barack Obama's favorite color is yellow.  

NEW PRESIDENT: MITCH MCCONNELL

President of the Congressional Good Old Boy Establishment.  
 

IF DEMOCRATS EVER STOPPED TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR

It would surely break. 

GLEN CAMPBELL

A legend in his time.  God bless and good luck. 

GET REAL

It's been hidden for years... the North Koreans have been rapidly advancing their nuclear capabilities.  Now, the Trump Administration has uncovered the real and horrible truth.  

And the left-wingers of this country want to impeach Trump?  

Do we even have a nation intact that we can defend?  
 

DON'T YOU WONDER WHY?

Why hasn't Special Counsel Robert Mueller named Hillary Clinton to his panel investigating Trump yet?  He's named virtually every other Democrat in Washington to that panel...

WAS WASSERMAN-SCHULTZ BEING BLACKMAILED?

The Pakistani I.T. guy would certainly know all of her dirty little secrets, wouldn't he?  And, that would explain why she kept him on the payroll, even while he was under investigation, wouldn't it?  And that would surely explain why she was keeping him on the payroll even after he was moving back to Pakistan, wouldn't it?  

Gosh, I wonder if he's going to rat her out, now that he's been arrested.... don't you? 

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE MARRIED TO THIS

Piece of Work?  

 

NEW DEMOCRAT LOGO

The Democrats are dropping their traditional donkey logo and have decided to use a more appropriate logo which represents the modern state of the party.  

 

ROLL CALL

Be sure and take names of the Senators who vote against repealing ObamaCare.  That list will come in handy in November of 2018.  
 

FUZZY MATH

They say repeal of ObamaCare will cause 32 million Americans to lose their health insurance coverage.   In 2017, only 20 million Americans are enrolled in ObamaCare, Medicaid expansion, etc.  

BURN OUT

THE ZINGER is burned out for the moment.  Posts will continue on a less frequent basis for the foreseeable future.  You can read more about this decision on MY AMERICAN OPINION.  

Thanks for your viewership.  

I DON'T KNOW WHICH IS WORSE...

Being sick or being demented.  

OH WHAT A RELIEF IT IS!

Joe Scarborough is leaving the Republican Party.  
 

IVANKA TRUMP'S LESBIAN-RUSSIAN AFFAIR

Several days ago, a neighbor of a suspected Russian agent's ex-wife used a restroom at Trump Tower in New York City.  Fourteen hours later, Ivanka Trump entered the same restroom.  The logical conclusion is that Ivanka is having a lesbian affair with the woman and is passing on American secrets  to her. 

Now, doesn't that just like a NEW YORK TIMES or CNN Headline story?  
 

UH OH: THE GOP HEALTH CARE PLAN IS.....

Sick.  

U.S. ETHICS OFFICER RESIGNS

Walter Shaub Jr., director of the Office of Government Ethics, has resigned.  Obviously , he had nothing to direct.  

WHERE DO YOU THINK IT IS SAFER TO LIVE?

North Korea or Chicago?  

AS MUELLER'S INVESTIGATION TEAM GROWS AND GROWS AND GROWS...

The only people he needs to add now are Eric Holder, John Podesta and Loretta Lynch.  

THE REAL PROBLEM WITH OBAMACARE

The Republicans lack the courage to repeal it and they don't have the slightest idea as how to replace it.  

EXTENDED WEEKEND

I'LL BE BACK WEDNESDAY, JULY 5TH

 

WE'RE INFESTED WITH A NEW PLAGUE

It's called Congress.  The voters tried spraying them with disinfectant in November and it didn't work. 

THE STATUS-QUO OF AMERICA?

An Oakland, California restaurant has installed a mural honoring a convicted terrorist who killed two in a Jerusalem grocery store.  

AWWW, SHUCKS

All of those workers up in Seattle demanded... demanded a $15 per hour minimum wage the our Democrat friends were more than willing to make it into law.  Now, those same workers are madder than hell, because 5,000 jobs were lost and those left working are getting fewer hours and benefits.  

And we "low-thinking, mean" Conservative business people who tried to warn them?  We're simply known as "deplorables."  
 

DEMOCRATS PROVIDE CLEAR LESSON IN ABSURDITY

They have adamantly refused to cast even one vote in favor of a new health care bill.  Now, they want to say the Republicans have taken ownership of ObamaCare because they're not getting it fixed.  

PELOSI LAYS DOWN THE LAW

She doesn't give a hoot what the rest of the Democrat Party thinks, she will leave her post whenever she wants to leave.  Period.  

And that, my friends, is the epitome of how those turds all think. 

IF YOU REALLY WANT TO HEAR THE DEMOCRATS WHINE...

Let's pass a law making it illegal to play with your rubber duckies on the Potomac.  

DOES IT BOTHER YOU?

Does it bother you that Planned Parenthood just used $1 million of taxpayer money to support a political candidate?  

AS LONG AS THEY'RE HAVING ALL OF THESE INVESTIGATIONS...

Why don't they investigate why Congress hasn't done a damned thing in 30 years? 

WE MUST SURRENDER

We are surrounded by cats and dogs, in more ways than one.  

 

ADAM WEST

Holy shit, Batman!

HUNG

As of post time yesterday, Cosby's trial jury couldn't figure out whether he screwed her, or she screwed him.  

YOU ARE ONLY A FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION

According to Terry McAuliffe, 93 million Americans are killed every day in American due to gun violence.  That means in 3.5 days, everyone in American is killed.  Which means you're dead.  So, if you think you are alive, it's only a figment of your imagination.  

I rest my case. 

SESSIONS IS AS GUILTY AS HELL

He must be, because he denied it and no one else can prove it.  

Makes sense to me. 

A REAL RUSSIAN CONSPIRACY

BARACK OBAMA CONTINUES TO BLOW HOT AIR

WHY THE LIBERALS ARE MAKING SO MUCH NOISE ABUT COMEY

They figure if they can keep the Comey hearings in the limelight, their association and admiration for Kathy Griffin will get buried in the Comey noise.  

THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL

Comey testified.  

NOW THAT ISIS HAS ATTCKED IN IRAN...

What are we going to say if Iran drops a nuke on them?  

WE JUST CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THURSDAY, WHEN...

JIMMY COMEY SINGS!

BEYOND COMPREHENSION

If it's basically illegal to own a gun in Chicago, why do so many thousands of gun crimes happen there every year?  Why is that, Rahm?

EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT NOW

Bill Maher used the "N" word on his show the other night, but he's apologized for it... which means everything is okay now.  

OBAMA'S LONG LOST BROTHER FOUND!

It was first dredged up in 1870s off Papua New Guinea; and now scientists say they've hauled one up from the deep once again near Australia... a so-called faceless fish.

TRUMP'S FAVORITE MOVIE

"THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING! THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING!"

 

MANUEL NORIEGA

He's died.  Gosh... remember what an outstanding guy HE was?  

OUR BRILLIANT AMERICANS

A recent study shows that 80% of Americans disapprove of ObamaCare, only 60% disapprove of the Affordable Care Act.  

DO NOT FLY THE AMERICAN FLAG THIS WEEKEND

It might offend a liberal.  

ROGER MOORE

So long, Roger.  Give all of those Democrats the gold finger!  

CEMETERY PROBLEM

If you really think that any radical, left-wing extremist Democrat is going to allow him or herself to be buried next to a conservative Republican, you've got another thing coming.  (If it's left up to them, we're all going to end up on a garbage scow someplace).  

 

 

GUILTY VERDICT!

GALLOWS HUMOR

I hear the Democrats are getting ready to erect a gallows in front of the Capitol.  

 

THE END OF AMERICAN CIVILITY

Democrats succeed in forcing DOJ to name Special Counsel Robert Mueller to investigate and bring down President Donald J. Trump.  
 

NEWS

Whatever the news is, it's either fake or ugly.  

MICHELL'S IN A SNIT

Michelle thought she has done something magnanimous for the schoolchildren of the country when she designed a new, healthy lunch.  Well, those lunches might be healthy alright, but nobody's eating them. 

JOIN THE GUN OF THE MONTH CLUB

The California State Legislature is considering SB497 that would limit the number of guns that can be purchased by anyone to one per month.  That surely should put black-market gun vendors in big hurts... yes, siree. 

FLYING WITHOUT A LAPTOP

Do you really want to be that exposed on an airplane?  

WHO REALLY FIRED COMEY

The Russians did it.  

RABIES

Most Democrats are afflicted with the disease. 

IT'S PARTY TIME AT THE F.B.I.!

Good riddance to a bad cop.  

CALIFORNIA GOES AROUND THE BEND

They're making it illegal to carry an unloaded gun in public.  

RUMOR HAS IT

While Trump is overseas on his coming trip, the Democrats are going to invade the White House and install Hillary Clinton to her rightful place as president. 

NEVER, EVER

When is the last time our government made certain we taxpayers got value for our money?  

HILLARY'S WAH

IT'S JUST NOT FAIR!

WHY KIM JONG-UN IS LIKE HIS NORTH KOREAN MISSILES

He can't get it up.

OBAMA'S $400,000 SPEECH

He needs the money to build a cabinet to hold his Nobel Peace Prize.

KIM JONG-UN IS NOT NUTS

He's deranged, maybe... but not nuts.  

TURN PYONGYANG INTO GLASS

53% of Americans want it to happen.  

DUMB SHIT IN WASHINGTON

An exciting new autobiography by Paul Ryan.  

 

SHUT THE GOVERNMENT DOWN?

Nah, let's not shut the whole thing down.  Just shutting down Congress and furloughing the whole damned bunch of them sounds fine to me.  What a waste of time and money they've turned out to be...

FRENCH ELECTIONS

Who in their right mind would ever want to be in charge of that country, anyway? 

Oh yeah... I forgot about Hillary, Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi.  
 

KIM JONG-UN THREATENS TO SINK U.S. AIRCRAFT CARRIER

SPEAKING OF BILL O'REILLY'S ALLEGED SEXCAPADES...

I wonder whatever happened to Monica's dress?  

MEDIA ANNOINTS 2020 DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATE

Chelsea Victoria Clinton

 

AMERICA'S CESSPOOL OF IGNORANCE

U.C. Berkeley

WHAT DO HILLARY AND KIM JONG-UN HAVE IN COMMON?

They both go absolutely ape-shit when they don't get their way.  

THEFT OF GEORGIA ELECTION EQUIPMENT

We all know that the Russians did it.  The only question is, were they working in conjunction with the Democrats or the Republicans? 

KIM JONG-UN'S ERECTILE DISFUNCTION

Failure to launch. 
 

FLY THE FRIENDLY SKIES OF UNITED...

 

EASTER BUNNY IN HOSPITAL

He was wearing a Make America Great Again cap in San Francisco when it happened...

EVEN IF YOU LIKE SEX...

Now is not the time to fly United.  

WHY?

Why do the words "corrupt" and "politician" usually appear in the same sentence?  

MALIBU CLIFF COLLAPSE

Several hundred feet of seaside cliff collapsed Monday in Malibu.  

No Hollywood celebrities were injured or killed; they had all moved to Canada after Trump was elected. 

ASTONISHING EVIDENCE SHOWS...

More people die every hour during a rerun of Gunsmoke than died during an hour of the attack on the Syrian air base.  

DID YOU SEE...

Did you see the throng of Democrats gathered to congratulate Neil Gorsuch as the new Supreme Court Justice?  

Neither did I. 

NEW NAME FOR DEMOCRAT PARTY

A.P.A.

That's short for Anarchy Party of America
 

FOX NEWS' SHEPARD SMITH MAKES FOOL OF HIMSELF

In the midst of reporting on the ongoing U.S. attack on the Syrian air base, Smith lambasted Trump for authorizing the attack, dragging out old Trump tweets from years before when Trump was against any U.S.. intervention in Syria.  Unfortunately for Smith, Retired General Jack Keane was on the scene and he let Smith have it... with both barrels.  

Thank you, General, for standing up for what's right. 
 

NEIL GORSUCH

Here comes the Judge.

DON RICKLES

One of the greatest comedians ever to grace our shores, now on his way to unleash his timeless insults in heaven.  For the first time in millennia, even God will soon be laughing.  

ABOUT THAT SYRIAN CHEMICAL ATTACK

Do you suppose Trump will draw a red line in the sand and forget about it? 

WHERE'S THERE SMOKE...

There's Rice.  

DUMBED DOWN POLLS

Has anybody ever conducted a poll among people who were actually born in the United States about anything?  And... if not, why not? 

TOO BAD WE CAN'T PUT POLITICIANS IN THERE

IRRELEVANT

Chuck Schumer Democrats.

IT'S NANCY PELOSI'S BIRTHDAY!

APRIL FOOLS DAY!

DINOSAUR EGG

Paul Ryan laid one.  

kit's nancy pelosi

DYSFUNCTIONAL

United States Government

THERE'S NO TRUTH TO THE RUMOR...

That Kim Jong-un drives an MG Midget.

FINAL FOUR

What's all of the ruckus over the "Final Four?"  I thought the elections were over in November!  

RYAN'S WORLD

SANCTUARY CITIES

Why don't we have sanctuary cities for Americans? 

RYAN'S SONG

It's not my fault.

CHUCK BARRIS

He's gong bye bye. 

HILLARY'S EMAILS

Now extinct?  

WHAT'S WRONG WITH GORSUCH?

For the first time in their recent history, the Democrats are faced with someone who believes in upholding the law.  

BENGHAZI IS LIKE NEW YORK CITY

Is that why Hillary wants to be mayor?  

CHUCK BERRY

HERE HE COMES, BEETHOVEN.  

PRETENDER TO THE THRONE

Barack Hussein Obama.  

BEND OVER

Here comes ObamaCare 2.0!

 

A MESSAGE FOR CHUCK SCHUMER

HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY!

PAUL RYAN AND GEORGE SOROS

I don't know which one I like least. 

CRAMDOWN

American Health Care Act, also known as RyanCare. 

DILEMMA

If we fire everyone in government who is a die hard Democrat, left-wing liberal..... Who is going to remain to run the government?  

SCHUMER SHOULD MOVE TO ALBUQUERQUE

And enter the hot air balloon contest.  

SOMEHOW....

For some reason, the way Ryan is pushing TrumpCare reminds me 100% of how Pelosi pushed ObamaCare.  

And the way things are shaping up, we ARE going to have to pass it before we know what's in it.  
 

AND THE BAD NEWS IS...

Nancy Pelosi reportedly was going to leave office if Hillary won.  

SMOKE AND MIRRORS

NOW YOU SEE IT

A.C.A. = "OBAMACARE"  

NOW YOU DON'T

A.H.C.A. = "TRUMPCARE"

See how a little smoke and mirrors changes everything?    

 

PEACE AND QUIET AT HOME AT LAST

All of the women were out on the streets protesting. 

AS CLEAN AND PURE AS THE DRIVEN SNOW

INFORMED SOURCES

Report that Chuck Schumer wears Russian underpants.  

PARANOIA

The Democrats' state of mind. 

THE WHITE HOUSE: GUESS WHO IS NOT COMING TO DINNER

PILES

I think Nancy Pelosi has a really bad case of them.  
 

I'M BARRED FROM FEDERAL EMPLOYMENT

I once dated a Russian girl.  

FOUND: THREE DEMOCRATS WHO DON'T HAVE THE CLAP

Carryn Owens, whose husband Ryan was recently killed in Yemen, was treated to an emotional standing ovation Tuesday night in Congress as a show of respect for her husband and of love and understanding of her loss.  Democrats Keith Ellison, Nancy Pelosi and Debbie Wasserman-Schultz were the only three in the entire hall who sat on their respective asses and refused to clap. 

It kind of speaks for itself, doesn't it?  
 

MY GOD! KELLYANNE HAD FEET ON W.H. COUCH!

JUDGE JOSEPH WAPNER

There went the Judge.  

URANIS

Where "Never Trumpers" come from... your anus.  
 

PLUTOCRAT

Pluto: Where Democrats come from, ie:  Waters, Schumer, Pelosi, et al...
 

IT'S A FACT

There are more flakes in the Democrat Party than there are in a three-day blizzard. 

ALAN COLMES

Another FOX NEWS personality has died.  I never cared for him because he was a liberal twit.  Hopefully, God can set him straight. 

MORE NEW EARTHLIKE PLANETS?

Don't believe a word of it.  This is just another lie perpetrated by the Trump Administration and NASA in an effort to make us think they're smart.  Yes, siree Bob!

NANCY PELOSI IS A TOAD

Depending on your point of view, this could be fake news.  

BRENDA BUTTNER

Much too young to die.  

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A LIBERAL AND A DEMOCRAT

One thinks he has the right to tell you how to do everything and the other believes you don't have the right to decide what to do for yourself.  
 

YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB, MR. PRESIDENT

Don't let the bastards wear you down.  
 

GOOD RIDDANCE TO THE SCUMBAG

Sheikh Omar Abdel-Rahman, the mastermind of the 1993 World Trade Center bombing.  

NOW, ISN'T THIS JUST WONDERFUL?

Former Obama Communications Director Jen Psaki is giving advice to Kellyanne Conway and Sean Spicer.  She's telling them to quit lying to the American public.  "Not only is the current White House team led by an undisciplined president lacking depth or intellectual curiosity, but a president who believes bullying, freezing out the mainstream media, lying to the public, and fostering a chaotic 'Game of Thrones' style environment." 

Isn't she sweet?  

OBAMA GOES TO WORK

Obama is going to be Premier of a new shadow government.  First Vice-Premier Clinton will be joining the team.  

How do you govern a shadow?

THE MOST EVIL PUPPET MASTER OF ALL TIME

George Soros

VALENTINE'S DAY MASSACRE

Bye, bye now... General Flynn. 

HOW I WISH

All of the nasty, vile, vicious left-wingers and Democrats in the country who promised to move to Canada if Trump got elected wouild hurry up and leave. 

GOOD MORNING TO POCAHONTAS

Elizabeth Warren. 

HISSY FIT

What Washington D.C. "Solidcore" gym owner had when she discovered Ivanka Trump had been working out at her business under a fictitious name.  

Maybe she should write a letter of protest to Chuck Schumer. 

FLAP OVER DOJ RENTAL AT TRUMP TOWERS

The Democrats are raising a ruckus over the DOJ renting space at Trump Towers, saying the rental uses government money to go into Trump coffers.  

The reason for the rental?  To provide a room close to the president when he is in New York for DOJ personnel and the "football..."  the suitcase with the nuclear codes. 
 

98% OF DEMOCRATS

Give the other 2% a bad name.  

MITCH MCCONNELL

I can't believe my ears!  After years of listening to carping and braying, somebody finally had the guts to tell a Democrat to shut up and sit down. 

IT'S A PROGRESSIVE FACT

Progressives are such great thinkers that they were the ones who invented prohibition. 

WILD BOAR PIGS INVADE U.S.

Damned Democrats.  

IS GOD REALLY OMNIPOTENT?

Yes; He's a Democrat. 

A NICE, POLITE NOTE TO THE PRESS AND MEDIA

Why don't you take your lies and bull crap and move to Mars?  

HOW WOOD GOT PETRIFIED

Liberals looked at it.  

FREEDOM OF SPEECH?

HEY THERE, TOM BRADY!

If you don't disavow your association with Donald Trump immediately, we're going to come and check the air in your balls!
 

WHEN DEMOCTRATS DO SOMETHING POSITIVE FOR AMERICA

TRUMP'S FAMILY DISINTEGRATES

That must be the case, because ABC's Terry Moran is making a federal case out of the fact that a... "a" mind you... a single picture of a single view, mind you... doesn't show a picture of wife Melania Trump or his children in the background.   I presume Moran would have us believe that Trump's family has walked out on the "tyrant?"  

How do such childish liberal imbeciles end up working for a major network, anyway?  Why absolutely no comment about Iran firing off a ballistic missile test in violation of U.N. sanctions, for example?  
 

HOW TO MAKE ILLEGALS LEAVE THE COUNTRY

Make them pay for car insurance.  

ALL OF THIS TALK ABOUT A WALL

Do you know what the trout said when he hit a wall?  

DAM!

MARY TYLER MOORE

Good bye Mrs. Petrie.  It was such a great act. 

WHY IS IT...

That the Democrats and the media are so adamantly against any investigation of voter fraud?

ABOUT THAT MILLION WOMAN MARCH

It must have really been that time of the month.  

WORK AT HOME

Looks like Donald Trump has landed a work-at-home job...

I PROTEST

Those who protest only for the sake of protesting, protest too much. 

ONE THING IS READILY APPARENT

Unlike his predecessor, Trump knows how and when to salute. 

THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH

Ringling Brothers is closing its act.  Perhaps it is fitting that the biggest circus in the country is closing at the same time the biggest circus in Washington is leaving office.  

FINALLY... WE HAVE A PRESIDENT

AND SO IT BEGINS...

HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN!  

January 20, 2017 ~ Noon EST

 

TOMORROW

THERE'S NO TRUTH TO THE RUMOR

That Trump is going to take the oath of office on a Russian bible.  

NOW THE TEARS FLOW

Did you see Joe all chocked up the other day when he was getting his presidential hubcap from Barack?  What a tear-jerking end to such a wonderful eight years of outstanding success by the Obama elites.... every moment of every hour of  every day will bring yet another tear-filled memory of the great things they have done for us wee-little children and...

THERE'S ONLY THREE MORE DAYS OF THIS POOPYCOCK TO GO!!!

Thank you, dear God.  

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT NBC COULDN'T GO ANY LOWER...

Along comes Megyn Kelly.  

IF CALIFORNIA FALLS OFF INTO THE OCEAN...

That will be the end of liberalism in this country. 

SCIENCE VS. FACT

Scientists say that by looking at trees, they have been able to determine that the recently-ended California drought is the worst in over 1,200 years.  That's odd; when I look at trees, all I can see is leaves that will need to be raked up in the fall.  

TODAY IS FRIDAY THE 13TH

Only seven more days until Obama leaves office.  

DYLANN ROOF

Bye, bye now... you bastard.  

SAY GOODBYE TO HOLLYWOOD

And Meryl Streep, whoever she is.  

NO TRUMP!!!

I WANT OBAMA TO DECLARE MARTIAL LAW!!!

 

BETTER SEE YOUR DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY

Because Trump is going to "Make America Sick Again!"

ARIZONA GOES SOFT

Now that Sheriff Joe Arpaio is leaving, the new sheriff in town is going to refer to illegal immigrants as "guests."  

THANK GOD IT'S JUST THE RUSSIANS

It surely is s relief to know that the Chinese, Iranians and North Koreans would never, never think of hacking us or influencing our elections.  Please pass the gray poop on.

SCHUMER THE SCHMUCK TO TRUMP

"You'd just better stop using your Twitter account or I'm going to be so, soooo angry at you!!!" 
 

THE REAL QUESTIONS ABOUT INFLUENCING AN ELECTION

Why hasn't it occurred to anyone that if the Russians could influence our election Putin would be our next president?  And why isn't anyone in the DOJ pursuing the DNC's attempts to fix the Democrat primary against Bernie Sanders? 

SWEET SIXTEEN

Just 16 more days for Obama to be in office!!!
 

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