CHRIST NEVER EXISTED?

Researchers have been able to produce a fake Shroud of Turin using 14th century technology. Their fake shroud was artificially aged using heat and water, and the "shroud" was then placed over a student who wore a mask to produce the "face" and the "shroud" was rubbed with red ochre in a process that took over a week.

All of which probably explains why David Letterman went after all of those women, because he knew that Christ never existed and therefore, he wouldn't have to worry about the afterlife. And, of course, that would also explain a lot of the goings-on in Washington.